


Pride

by Deck Divination (astralpath)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Ancient Egypt, Angst, Anime/Manga Fusion, Character Change/Growth, Dream Sequences, M/M, Past Lives, Post-Series, Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-15 19:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 78,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2241015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralpath/pseuds/Deck%20Divination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after the sennen items were sealed, Kaiba returns to Domino a changed man. Can Atem finally forge the friendship he's always desired with Kaiba, or will rivalry and pride—or even dispassion—interfere?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** (And I cannot emphasize this enough) This story contains **_SPOILERS_** throughout for both anime and manga. However, if you are not familiar with the story, I'm surprised you're interested in reading this story in the first place. Oh yes, and there is some profanity, but not loads of it.
> 
> This story was originally posted to Fanfiction.net between 2012/1/2 and 2012/6/23. It was the second story that I posted and is (as of this re-posting) still my most popular story there.
> 
> This story is post-canon, based on the Japanese version of the anime with a few exceptions. For details, see the notes at the end of the first chapter.
> 
> This posting includes corrections to punctuation and some minor alterations for flow. Any larger changes that I decide to make while porting (if any) will be discussed in chapter notes.

Seto strode purposefully toward his cabin, Mokuba straining to keep up behind him while lugging his case of cards. He did not stop until he was safely within, stationed decisively at the porthole. Unfortunately, the porthole was not conveniently positioned for Seto's height, so he had to look down to see out of it, but he was not going to compromise, and he wasn't really interested in looking out across the Nile anyway. If he had been, he would have been on the deck at the rail, but he wanted privacy and that could only be obtained here, in their cabin.

“Nii-sama? … Seto? Are you OK?”

Seto didn't bother replying to his brother's query. Mokuba was used to his brother's moodiness and would cope with it. He would make it up to him later on.

But now …

He had his own coping to do.

This ceremony, this duel … it was … all to send him …

_Him …_

… to the afterlife.

Just thinking about it made his head ache. He'd worked so hard to ignore all this supernatural absurdity, compartmentalize it, and here it was, shoved in his face. Again. And Yugi … no, not Yugi … _he_ was … what? A spirit? A ghost? A piece of that puzzle around Yugi's neck? It made no sense.

His rival … the only one he could call his equal … was …

… _real_.

How could he be no more than a mere wisp of electromagnetic energy? A concept? A dream?

But worse than that, how could he even consider walking out like this? He thought that … monster … was it? Did he not even understand who his true adversary was? His rival? How could he? After all they'd been through …

How could he just … surrender?

He felt it, like a vice, around his heart. He folded his arms over his chest in his typical posture, but he felt as though he were trying to protect his chest from further injury.

It wasn't helping.

Mokuba had placed Seto's case carefully on the desk in their cabin and had now climbed onto the bunk next to Seto. Without a word, he leaned against his brother, linking his hands around his neck silently and placing his head on his shoulder, bewildered, but trying to comfort him as best he could. Seto was only dimly aware of Mokuba's efforts as his mind continued to churn.

Yugi—Seto shook his head: the _other_ Yugi—was so focused on the past and yet … _their_ past, _here, now_ —meant _nothing?_ How could he, _Kaiba Seto_ , his rival—his _top_ rival, mean so very little? He couldn't comprehend it.

Not only that, he required assistance, the aid of a warrior, a duelist and … who does he choose?

The crushing agony Seto was suffering in his chest increased.

That “other self,” that's who.

How _dare_ he? After everything … after all that … How _dare_ he choose that upstart, that pipsqueak, to duel him? He was untested! Who the hell had he dueled to earn the right? Yes, this … spirit Yugi … had beaten Seto more than once, but even he had recognized Seto as an equal! Had not he, alone, of all people on the planet, earned this right? Over and above all the others?

If this other Yugi absolutely insisted on departing and he required assistance to do it, then … the least he could do was … the least … was choose …

Seto closed his eyes briefly.

He had earned this.

He wanted to go straight out to Yugi's—he gritted his teeth— _their_ cabin and talk to him … but there was more than a 50% likelihood that he'd run into the Yugi that he wanted nothing more than to throttle. Even if he did meet Yugi's “other self,” the chances of having a normal conversation were—he closed his eyes, thinking about it—minimal. He tightened his crossed arms as though to bar his own passage.

And then there was the—he grimaced in disgust—Yugi-tachi. They would be monopolizing him for the entire remaining time. There was no chance of having any privacy for any possible discussion … or …

… _Or what?_

_What did he think would happen if he met with the spirit now?_

Seto was a little afraid to find out. He didn't dare to follow the tangled threads of thought that trailed down into the lower depths of his consciousness. There were too many surging and dangerous … emotions … threatening there.

He sighed. When had he ever had the opportunity to actually have a real conversation with the spirit? What would happen if he tried? The circumstances filled him with confusion and regret. If he attempted to talk to the spirit now, he feared what would come out as a result … what he might … do.

But more than that, there was something … something that seemed to come to him from deep inside, from a place he didn't recognize, a place so deep and secret that it almost frightened him. A voice …

… his own voice, filled with a passionate yearning …

_I've waited so very long …_

_This was the last office I could perform for you, and you—_

_Why …?_

_Why, my Pharaoh?_

“Seto?”

It was only when he heard Mokuba's concerned query that Seto realized that he had uttered a faint moan at the sudden pang of grief that flooded his body. It was all that he could do to remain standing.

“I'm quite all right, Mokuba,” he said, recovering himself. _What was that?_

“That didn't sound all right.”

“Nevertheless.”

“Nii-sama, do—do you want me to leave?”

“No, Mokuba. I'm glad you're here.”

They stood as they were for some time.

**Chapter Notes:**

I emphasize that I'm using the Japanese version of the anime because the American (4Kids) version changed things/characters around quite a bit. However, as noted, I'm pulling some events from the manga.

Yugi-verse notes (spoilers, natch):

  * Seto and Yami Yugi first meet via the theft of the card, followed by the penalty game, Experience of Death (manga).  
  

  * The Experience of Death inspires Seto to create solid vision technology (good) and Death-T (not so much). This leads to the second duel and Seto's second penalty game, Mind Crush (manga).  
  

  * The mind crush results in a period of catatonia (manga) rather than introspection (anime (my editorial comment: Seriously?)).  
  

  * However, anime basis means that anime-only arcs (Noah, Atlantis, etc) occurred.  
  

  * As to the duel between Atem and Yugi: Obviously, for this story to proceed, something has to have changed from canon (as in, we need Yami Yugi around ;) ). See the notes for the next chapter.




	2. An Enigmatic Entrepreneur

Atem and Yugi entered the Marrakesh Domino in a little bit of a hurry. “Did you really need to spend so much time dressing?” Yugi asked. “You know this restaurant doesn't hold reservations.”

“It's only lunch,” Atem said.

“It's only lunch at the trendiest new restaurant in Domino when we have a movie planned after. This is your 'birthday,' remember?”

 _Right, it's the anniversary of the day that I won the duel with Yugi and got my own body._ “How can I forget?”

But they were in front of the _maître 'd_ now.

“Reservations for Motou,” Yugi said.

“I'm terribly sorry, sir, you're over ten minutes late and we had to give the reservation to another party. You have the option to wait,” he said, waiving toward a crowded couch. “We estimate a wait time of approximately one hour and fifteen minutes.”

Yugi shot Atem an annoyed look, and said, “Well, what do you think? You're the one who loves Moroccan food.”

But before Atem could say anything, an almost-familiar voice called, “Hey, Yugi! Are you doing something special, or can you join us?”

Yugi's head swiveled and he breathed “Thank Ra,” under his breath, then called, “Damn, you've grown! Sure, we'll join you, Mokuba.”

Atem followed Yugi's line of sight and, sure enough, it was a taller version of Mokuba. He still had the heavy mane of dark hair and was still cute as a button. “C'mon,” he said, “I'll take you where we're sitting. We didn't have reservations, but they recognized us and let us right in. Thank goodness for money.”

Yugi shot Atem another meaningful look as they headed toward the secluded corner where the Kaibas had been seated.

“So your brother's here?” Atem asked, partly as a means of deflecting the conversation away from his tardiness.

“Of course. He's just outside talking to some people about business … as usual. I'm glad you're here. It gives me someone to talk to while he's on the phone.”

They ordered drinks and meals, Mokuba ordering for Seto, and settled back. “So you're celebrating, huh?” asked Mokuba.

“Yeah, it's been five years now since Egypt.”

“I guess it has been a long time. And you took the surname …”

“Ishtar,” Atem affirmed. “That worked out best. Even though I look a lot like Yugi's twin, in a lot of ways, it makes more sense. Plus, it allowed me to work out the legal issues more easily, especially with the help of Isis' influence.”

“Oh, right. And you've been dueling?”

“Don't you keep up on that?” asked Yugi. “I've been dueling, mainly to defend Atem's …” he glanced at Atem, then amended, “OK, _our_ title. Plus, Grandpa likes the publicity it gives the game shop. Atem … well, it's too confusing if we both duel since we look so much alike, plus he really needs a more important reason to duel. We've both been doing some consulting work for Otogi, and also helping out with the game shop. I would have thought you would have known I was dueling.”

“Seto probably would, but I don't follow dueling tournaments closely any more.” Mokuba looked like he was about to go on, but the mood of the restaurant suddenly underwent a drastic change, and they all looked up toward the door.

The source of the change was Kaiba Seto, who had swept through the doors and was swiftly striding through the restaurant toward them. Atem took the opportunity to size him up. It was almost reflex, their rivalry was so ingrained in him. Was Kaiba even taller now? That was annoying. Seto's eyes were still that amazing midnight blue and still held the same piercing intelligence.

And Kaiba still knew how to dress to impress, Atem thought, even when dressing more conservatively. He was wearing a flawless white business suit with a hint of sheen, a soft, black shirt with a high collar and white silk tie with understated glossy white-on-white striping. It was only as Kaiba came closer that Atem noticed that the suit had sharp, almost-invisible platinum pinstripes. As always, the suit was tailored so elegantly and the one who wore it carried himself with such assurance that one could almost feel the room holding its collective breath as he passed by. From all outward appearances, it didn't seem like he'd changed all that much, but Atem nevertheless felt as though he detected something was different about Kaiba as he strode smoothly toward them. No, there was still the arrogance, the reserve, but where was _something_ decidedly different about him.

Was it in his expression? Atem studied Kaiba's face. Wasn't it still an expressionless mask, just as he'd remembered it? Or … was it just a little more relaxed somehow? Even … no, there was some indecipherable emotion bubbling just below that impenetrable surface. Atem glanced sidelong at Mokuba's face and saw that it was shining with love and pride. There was no longer that hint of worry lurking underneath his adoration.

Kaiba noticed guests sitting at his table, caught Yugi's eye, and inclined his head. Mokuba waved enthusiastically at his brother for no apparent reason. Kaiba smiled indulgently as he closed the remaining distance between the door and their table.

“Hi, Nii-sama,” he said. “I hope you don't mind. I saw Yugi and Atem here and I invited them to eat with us.”

Kaiba favored them with a warm smile. “Of course not. I've been meaning to look you up,” he said, seating himself. “I hope you've ordered.”

“You look well,” Atem said. Kaiba … _smiling_ …?

“Yugi,” Kaiba said. “ _Other_ Yugi, that is. I hope you'll pardon my confusion, but I thought you had gone on to the great beyond or some other such supernatural goings on … I'd still rather not think about it. I don't even like to think there's two of you now.” He had stopped smiling as a slightly unhappy expression flitted across his handsome features before they settled back into a more familiar expressionless mask.

Atem reflected that he rather liked the way Kaiba pronounced _Yugi_ , almost hating to correct him, but said, “You can call me _Atem_ now that I have my memory back … thanks partly to you. I'm to live a natural life now. So we don't have to discuss supernatural things any longer unless you want to. The _sennen_ items are gone.”

“That's a relief.”

“To us as well.”

“So how long have you been back in Domino?” asked Yugi, leaving Atem to marvel at how changed and unchanged his old rival was.

“We've actually been back a month already,” said Mokuba. “We've just been so busy that we haven't had time to see anybody but KaibaCorp employees yet.”

“You would have known we were back if you read the business news,” Kaiba offered.

“Or the gossip items,” Mokuba added with a giggle. Kaiba shot him an irritated look, but he only said, “I can't help it if they're interested in you.” He leaned over the table confidentially toward Yugi and Atem. “He was named America's most eligible millionaire … even though he's a billionaire. I guess they don't have a separate category for billionaires.”

“Mokuba!”

He put up his hands defensively. “Hey, I didn't make them write the articles!”

“As I said, I did want to get in touch,” Kaiba said, seriously. “It's that I wanted to take sufficient time and I haven't had any.”

“Seriously. I have to force Nii-sama to get some rest.”

“I'd like to—”

As if on cue, they heard a soft buzz and Seto stood and reached into his pocket. “Excuse me,” he said, and strode out, speaking softly but urgently into the phone.

“It's been like that nonstop,” Mokuba said. “I had to force him to come out here. I really wanted to try this place.”

They had already been served and had dug in at Mokuba's insistence when Kaiba finally reappeared, looking extremely annoyed. “I'm sorry, Mokuba,” he said. “An emergency has come up.”

Mokuba groaned. “You promised me a real lunch.”

“I'll just have to make it up to you.” He strode off and immediately pulled over a waiter for a short discussion, then began speaking softly on his cell phone again.

Mokuba gave Yugi and Atem an apologetic smile as he got up. “Gee, I'm sorry about all this. I really wanted to catch up and it looks like it's going to have to wait.” With that, he turned to run after his brother. It was such a familiar sight that Yugi had to suppress his laughter.

“Some things never change,” he said.

The two were so involved in their own exchange that they didn't notice Kaiba returning. He bent down for a moment and said softly into Atem's ear, “Thank you, Atem. I never thanked you properly, and I've been meaning to for some time.” With that, he turned and strode out.

Atem stared after him, wondering exactly what he meant, then suddenly groaned and slapped his hand to his forehead. “Great Isis, the bill!” Those two clearly didn't even bother looking at the prices of what they had ordered.

Yugi couldn't stand it any longer and burst out laughing. “Don't worry about it. I'm sure we can handle one restaurant bill, even if it's a big one.”

“And Kaiba didn't even take a bite of that.” He looked at Seto's plate. The dish looked delectable. “What did he order, anyway? Too bad. No wonder he's so slender.”

Their waiter turned up and started boxing the Kaibas' meals.

“What are you doing?” asked Yugi.

“We've been directed to send these up to KaibaCorp. In the meantime, is there anything else that I can get for you?”

“No thank you,” said Yugi. “You can bring us the bill.”

“The bill? It's already been taken care of, sir.” The waiter swept off with the boxes.

“Huh,” said Atem, looking toward the door.

“He really does seem different,” Yugi said. “Kaiba. Did you see how happy he and Mokuba seem? He's as busy as ever, but …”

And with Yugi's words, the last puzzle piece snapped into place. Why hadn't he seen it? It was so obvious. The indecipherable emotion that he had detected in Kaiba was joy.

“But he's happy. Yes, I noticed. He always made an impression, but now he seems to light up a room when he enters. He's … _majestic_. That's what it is. Confidence, optimism and joy. It's magnetic.”

Yugi elbowed Atem. “Sort of like what you have.” He toyed with the food remaining on his plate. “Y'know, _I_ was supposed to treat you to lunch.”

“There's still the movie,” Atem offered.

“Yeah.”

* * *

Atem had trouble concentrating on the movie. Yugi had allowed him to pick it out and it was right up his alley, all adventure and honor, but his mind kept wandering back to Kaiba Seto. If only they had had longer to talk to him! But they'd only had a few moments with him. Even Mokuba had to rush away. Kaiba was definitely still the clotheshorse, no matter what he was wearing, and made an impression when he entered a room. He remembered how deceptive Kaiba could be years ago, when he charmed crowds of adoring gamers not long after they'd first met. Now he seemed to have genuinely earned that attention, from the inside out.

Atem tried to remember how Kaiba had moved and concluded that, physically, Kaiba hadn't changed that much. Maybe he carried himself with just a tiny bit more ease. His swift, decisive gestures made Atem suddenly want to see Kaiba walk in wearing one of his old coats, the kind with a train that floated out behind him, responding to his every move.

But why? Would it reveal more about how Kaiba had changed? Atem somehow craved to know more about the nature of this change. What had made him so happy? Had some small change in what he was doing made such a huge difference in the impression that he made? Or was it a fundamental shift in his being?

And … had Atem's words instigated this change in any way?

He had lost little of his arrogance, though. Atem somehow found that reassuring.

But why … why was this so important to him? All his friends seemed to find Kaiba's arrogance so unbecoming.

“Atem?”

He started ever so slightly and looked at Yugi.

“Do you want to see the credits?”

 _Already?_ “No, let's get going.” He hoped Yugi didn't want to talk about the movie.

“Well, what did you think?” Yugi asked.

 _Damn._ “Uh, it really—”

“Not the movie. _Kaiba_. You were completely distracted.”

 _It was that obvious?_ He slowed, trying to think of something to say.

“It's OK. I could barely pay attention, either. I can't get over how happy Mokuba is. It's a whole new level for him. It makes me want to find out how Kaiba has changed.”

“Me too. But it doesn't do any good to speculate.”

“C'mon. Let's go by KaibaLand Gaming Center. There's always a chance we might run into the Kaibas. And if we don't, we can always game our brains out.”

Atem shrugged. _OK._

* * *

KaibaLand was more crowded than usual. Yugi trotted off to get a couple of sodas and returned with both sodas and a report. “Apparently word has gotten around that the Kaibas are back in Domino and a lot of folks are here just hoping that they'll make an appearance.”

“You make us sound like groupies,” Atem growled. “For your information, it's my anniversary and I'm here for the gaming.”

Yugi grinned. “Understood.”

It had been a while since they had been to KaibaLand and soon the two were locked in competition at a gaming console they hadn't tried before. They were fully engrossed when they heard a familiar voice.

“Atem, long time no see! Jou, get over here! It's Atem and Yugi.”

“Hi, Honda,” said Yugi cheerily, hitting pause on the console. “Hi, Jounouchi.”

Jounouchi appeared at Honda's shoulder. “Hey Yugi, where have you been keeping yourself? I haven't seen you in a week … and Atem, I can't remember the last time we've gotten together.”

Atem colored a little and admitted, “Sorry about that, Jounouchi, but you just aren't hanging out at the game shop as much and with work and all … it's just been … a little difficult …”

“What Atem's trying to say is that with our respective jobs and Honda at university—”

Just then there was a little fluster of activity toward the lobby as a number of people started moving toward the door.

Atem was starting to look over when Jounouchi said, “Damn it, the Kaiba brothers! Let's get out of here and get dinner, OK?”

Yugi looked at Atem helplessly and shrugged. Atem sighed. “Sure, why not?” he said.

 _Best-laid plans_ , Yugi's eyes said.

Yugi and Atem headed out to catch up with old friends … just not the ones they'd planned on.

**Chapter Notes:**

Yugi-verse note: “ _Right, it's the anniversary of the day that I won the duel with Yugi and got my own body.”_ The easy way of solving the Atem-has-a-body problem. (Although the implication was that he'd become a lost soul if he won in the original ... but that's way too sad, don't you think?) This is where I depart from canon. ;)

_I thought you had gone on to the great beyond or some other such supernatural goings on_ : Reflects Kaiba's state of mind at that time.

… _he rather liked the way Kaiba pronounced_ Yugi _…_ : A reference to the original Japanese soundtrack.

I'm dispensing with virtually all honorifics to avoid the inevitable embarrassing errors I'd make. Hopefully the bonus will be readability.

I'm not sure I'm happy with the two short scenes at the end, but … oh, well … they didn't seem to want to expand.


	3. Reunion

A couple of weeks later the gang had gathered at a KaibaLand arcade to welcome Anzu back to Domino. She was only back for a few weeks on vacation from dance school in New York, but it was good to have her, even for only a few days. After she had worn herself out working some dance machines with Honda and Malik and Yugi had soundly trounced Bakura in a duel, they gathered for American hamburgers, Yugi's favorite.

“Malik, I never would have guessed that you would be such a good dancer,” Anzu said.

Malik looked both pleased and a little embarrassed. “I like almost any kind of physical activity,” he said, thinking of his new-found freedom. And then he suddenly blushed, realizing the implication of his words. He still felt a little awkward, especially around Anzu, aware of his past actions. Anzu had assured him he was forgiven, but it was hard for Malik to entirely forgive himself.

Jounouchi shoved an elbow into Malik's ribs, “I know what you mean,” he winked.

“What's your favorite American food, Anzu?” Yugi asked Anzu, changing the subject, much to Malik's relief.

“American …” she mused. “A lot of American food is American versions of various international food, so that's a complicated question,” she said, finally, laughing, “but I really like salads, the kind that they add chicken or shrimp to. So what's changed in Domino? What is everyone doing?”

“Everything's pretty much the same as our last letter,” Yugi said. “Atem and I are working in Grandpa's store and working on a couple of game designs. Otogi's stores are doing well. Honda and Bakura are buckling down at university, and Jounouchi—can you believe it?—is already bucking for detective.”

“You wrote me about that, but I still can't believe it!” Anzu said, turning to stare at Jounouchi.

“C'mon now!” he said, offended. “You'd think you thought I was stupid.”

“No comment,” Honda said. Jounouchi promptly jumped him, resulting in a short tussle.

“We ran into Kaiba the other week,” Atem offered.

“Oh yes,” Yugi said. “He's back in Domino, overseeing construction of the new KaibaLand amusement park here.”

“Really,” Anzu said, trying to sound uninterested. “I suppose he's the same as ever. He never changes.”

“On the contrary,” Atem said. “There is definitely something different about him now.”

There must have been something in Atem's voice because Anzu scrutinized his face carefully. “In what way?”

“I think … I think he's just happier now. It's a change for the better. I think you should all see him.”

Bakura said, “Us? Why?” but Jounouchi snorted. “Him? It'll take more than a little global warming to thaw that iceberg. His heart's at absolute zero.”

“You know better than that,” Atem said, “you've seen how he cares about Mokuba.”

“Well, that's just about all ol' Moneybags cares about … unless it's his bank account.”

They had a good laugh at that, but Atem had to force it. In fact, he had to restrain himself from stepping in again to defend Kaiba. That would have garnered some strange looks, he thought. _Have things changed so much?_ he asked himself. It seemed like Yugi used to be Kaiba's defender, but now … He mentally shook it off.

“Well, speak of the devil …” said Honda, looking out toward the mall.

It was Kaiba himself, engaged in an animated conversation with a number of KaibaLand employees. It was clear that they were no longer used to having the CEO of KaibaCorp drop by every day. He seemed to be assuring them that, no, the wrath of God had not fallen upon them, but, yes, there were a few items that he wanted to discuss.

“He's not raking the peons over the coals,” Jounouchi said with a touch of wonder.

“Like the man said,” Yugi commented.

“Hey, if you can admit that _I_ can change …” Malik said. “You _did_ admit that I can change, didn't you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I admit it …” Jounouchi said.

Atem felt a strong urge to keep watching Kaiba but forced himself to shift his attention back to Anzu. “Tell us about the types of dance you've been learning, Anzu,” he said.

“How about demonstrations?” Jounouchi suggested, voicing what Yugi surely must have been thinking, judging from the color that rose to his cheeks.

They all laughed and Anzu began describing her classes.

She was telling an amusing story about the pitfalls of learning the Argentinian tango when Bakura remarked “He really _has_ changed, hasn't he?” in a spaced-out voice.

Atem started slightly, wondering if Bakura was aware that he had spoken aloud. Bakura was sitting leaning forward, elbows on the table, his chin resting on his hands. He followed Bakura's rapt gaze to find Kaiba calmly signing autographs for a moderate crowd that had gathered around him.

Everyone was now staring at Bakura, who, suddenly aware of the attention, straightened, color rising to his cheeks. “Uh …”

“It's OK, Bakura,” Yugi said.

“What's the deal?” Jounouchi said. “You're as famous as he is, Atem.”

“Only in dueling circles, remember … and then there's the confusion with Yugi …”

“I guess Saving The World doesn't count.”

“Not when people don't know about it, Jounouchi,” Yugi said mildly. “Besides, it's not as though Kaiba didn't do anything to help now and then.”

“Yeah, but he complained the whole way.”

“Anyway, Kaiba is famous outside dueling circles because he's CEO of KaibaCorp and one of the richest young men in the world,” Yugi went on. “Plus he's becoming well-known for his philanthropic activities.”

“You think he remembers me?” wondered Bakura.

“He remembers all of us,” said Atem.

“Oh, look, he's heading this way,” said Yugi, waving. And, indeed, Kaiba had finished with the small crowd of admirers and was heading in their direction. “You can ask him yourself, Bakura.”

“Oh, I couldn't.” Atem looked at Bakura with a growing unease. He was obviously smitten with the “new” Kaiba and there was something about it that was disturbing Atem greatly. Surely it couldn't be that Bakura was gay; he'd always known that. Bakura attracted girls like a magnet yet he seemed ill at ease with them and distressed by their attentions. He hadn't shown a lot of outward interest in men before now, but the inclination had always seemed, well, obvious somehow. There was no reason that it should bother him that Bakura would develop a crush on Kaiba. He was an obvious enough target. After all, wouldn't anyone desire someone who drew all eyes to him that way the moment he entered a room?

If it weren't for his aloof personality, that is …

Atem's train of thought was interrupted when Kaiba and Mokuba arrived at their table. He greeted Atem and Yugi, including all their friends along with them.

Jounouchi quickly took the initiative. “Duel me, Kaiba.”

“I promised Mokuba that I wouldn't duel, so no.”

“I think you can make an exception.”

“I haven't picked up a deck since you last saw me and I'm not going to break a promise to Mokuba for you,” he said. “I'm sorry, there's no way.”

“Have you lost your nerve?”

Kaiba's eyes narrowed, but other than that, he kept his face composed in a careful mask. “As I said,” he said, his voice carefully modulated.

“Kai _ba_ —” Jounouchi began, but Honda yanked him back, whispering in his ear. Whatever it was didn't seem to make Jounouchi any calmer.

“Aw, Jounouchi, give him a break,” Yugi said. “Sorry, Kaiba, you know how he is …”

Kaiba shook it off. “It's all right,” he said. “In any case, I didn't come over here to start an argument. I want to give all of you these,” he said, and handed Atem a small stack of plastic cards.

Atem took a look and passed one to Yugi. Yugi gasped. “Th-thanks, Kaiba!” he said. “I mean really. Thanks. For all of us.”

“What the hell …?” Jounouchi asked as Atem passed the cards around to everyone.

“It's free passes to KaibaCorp amusement properties anywhere,” Atem said. “I'm overwhelmed. Really.”

“Don't make so much of it,” Kaiba said, waving it off. “It's the least I can do. There should be enough for your family, Mr Ishtar, so please take three. Also, I'm hoping that all of you will lend me a hand. I could use some help beta testing the new KaibaLand features before we open and I was wondering if you would mind helping me out. There are no lethal attractions this time, I promise.”

Atem tried to determine whether Kaiba looked as though he were joking or chagrined, but Jounouchi was saying “Are you kidding? Go to a park before the crowds arrive? Sign me up!”

Yugi practically fell off his chair laughing. “I thought you said you'd never trust him again!”

“This is before the park officially opens, Yugi!”

Atem stole a look at Bakura, who was stealing a look at Kaiba, when he suddenly realized that Kaiba had glanced his way. He glanced back only to find that Kaiba had looked away again. “I guess I know how to win you over, Jounouchi,” Kaiba said drily.

“How's that?”

“Freebies.”

“Kaiba …!”

“He's got a point there.”

“Aw, c'mon, Yugi.”

“I'm afraid I can't stay. I need to check in with the security office before I leave. There's definitely some gaps that need to be tightened.” He gracefully swept away, Mokuba in tow.

Bakura stared after him.

“Someone has a crush,” Malik commented, laughing. He earned another elbow in the ribs for that one, this time from Anzu, while Bakura blushed a deep red. “It's not as if everyone hadn't noticed! I'm just willing to say something about it.” He settled back in his seat with a smug look on his face.

“Don't worry, Bakura,” Jounouchi said, taking a last admiring look at his KaibaCorp pass before tucking it into his wallet, “Even I'm starting to get a man-crush on the guy, and I hate him.”

**Chapter Notes:**

I'm removing some of the comments that don't apply to this posting, and I'm struck by how many of them deal with the fact that I was also working on _Satisfaction_ (a 5D's story) at that time. Just a boring historical note. (And - gah! - errors I should have caught!)

_lethal attractions_ : A reference to Death-T. Although Kaiba would rather forget this, the beta testing is a similar circumstance, so he needs to mention it in passing at least.

Both Bakura's attractiveness to and discomfort with the opposite sex is illustrated during his introduction in the manga (note that I didn't go back to review this, but unless my memory completely flaked ...). (Not essential to this interpretation, but interesting!)

I'm hoping Malik doesn't seem too OOC here ... I'm thinking his lingering need for reassurance can't quite crush a certain mischievous streak.

Oh, and it might be a good time to emphasize that Yami Malik and Yami Bakura, having been banished, won't be making an appearance in this—except perhaps in flashback or dream sequence form!


	4. Focus

Atem, Yugi, Jounouchi, Bakura, and Honda were taken from KaibaCorp headquarters to the new KaibaLand build site for initial beta testing. An aide met them at the entry to hand them all hard hats and take them to the test site within the build site. “I must caution you,” the aide said, “you must follow Mokuba-sama's orders to the letter. This site is dangerous. If you wander into an active build area, you could be injured.”

They were shuttled with little ceremony past a chaos of girders and piles of dirt to a large trailer. The aide hopped out of the shuttle and knocked on the door. Mokuba popped his head out and, after a short conversation, Mokuba bounced over. “Hi, guys,” he said. “You ready?”

They voiced their eagerness and piled out. Yugi asked, “Is your brother going to be involved?”

“He'd like to be, and might join in some of the testing, but he's so busy with overseeing the project and monitoring our other business that he can only do so much.” Mokuba looked a little disappointed at the fact. “But I'll be helping out as much as possible.”

Honda was looking around. “How much is there to test right now?” he asked. “It doesn't look like anything's been built yet.”

Mokuba smiled. “There's a couple of things. One thing is that we've developed some totally new arcade games to unveil just for this site. We'll be introducing them at other sites and eventually market them to homes later on, but initially we hope that they will serve as a draw here.”

“They must be somethin',” Jounouchi said.

“We hope so, but that's why we need your help. We want you to help us shake out the snags. Seto's pretty good at finding them, but since he designed a lot of the play, he can't find all the problems that a gamer would find. That's where you come in.”

Mokuba led them to a building that looked like it had barely been started. They could easily see the girder skeleton, barely covered by tarpaulins and threaded through with the beginnings of infrastructure.

“As you can see, we're starting our focus groups early,” Mokuba said. “We want to be completely ready when we open. Any errors in the programming of these games may take time to solve, so they need to be handled well in advance.”

“Uh …” said Yugi, “since these are games, why are we doing this on site? The building isn't even put together yet.”

“That's an excellent question,” Mokuba said. “In fact, I'm not entirely certain what Seto has in mind, but he said that it was essential to plan the layout in advance to get an idea of the synergy and flow between the games themselves. This is just a mock-up. We'll be taking these out after the focus groups are finished.”

“Ah!” Atem exclaimed. Only Kaiba would think of checking the layout, and so early on. It was so brilliant, and would mean so much to the gamers, even though many wouldn't even notice it.

But as Atem turned to try out one of the consoles, he couldn't help but wish for the presence of the games' creative force. He found himself sneaking peeks toward the plastic-swathed doorway at odd moments, a habit which cost him more points than he cared to admit.

* * *

Four hours later, the group was sitting in a private dining room at The American Diner, a popular American-style hamburger restaurant. Kaiba had obviously had Mokuba research the group's tastes and plan the outing accordingly. The meal and post-mortem of the focus group was well underway when Kaiba swept in.

“How are the data?” he asked.

“Excellent. I think you'll be pleased,” said Mokuba. “I've ordered for you. I hope you don't mind.”

“Hn.” Kaiba found an empty seat between Mokuba and Atem, which Yugi had somehow managed to strategically arrange. Atem wasn't sure what Kaiba's syllable meant in relation to his upcoming meal, but he didn't think it was an expression of glowing approval.

Atem shot Kaiba an ironic smile and said, “I take it hamburgers aren't your cuisine of choice?”

“They are popular among focus groups,” he said noncommitally. “Tell me, which games did you sample?”

“Mostly, I played Outer Rim Patrol. Very impressive. I started out thinking it was one thing and it turned into another type of game altogether. I think that it will be addictive to experienced gamers in particular. Was it your design?”

“Actually, yes.”

Atem nodded. “I thought so.” In fact, he was confirming what he already knew. Only Kaiba would have designed a game in just that way, with those nuances.

“Did you reach the highest levels?”

Atem colored slightly. “Well, no. I was a little distracted and I wanted to check the other games out, as well as give Yugi and the others a chance to check out ORP.”

“Of course. But …” Kaiba frowned slightly. “I specifically wanted your opinion on a few of the aspects of the endgame.” He paused. “Do you suppose … no …”

“Are you asking whether I'd check it out with you now? Of course. That is, if you'd give me a ride home.” He looked at Yugi. “That's OK with you, isn't it?”

“'Course. You've never had a problem taking care of yourself.”

“But … Nii-sama, what about the focus group?”

“You're here, aren't you? I have full confidence that you can handle all the input with no problem. Besides, you're recording everything. If I have follow-up, we can take care of it.”

As Atem climbed into Kaiba's limousine, he commented, “You certainly didn't need much convincing to leave the focus group and take a closer look at this game.”

Kaiba smirked slightly and shrugged. “I've had a few too many hamburger meals with focus groups. And I really do want your opinion about the endgame. After, we can eat a real meal. Tell me you love hamburgers as much as Yugi does.”

“Well, actually …” Hamburgers weren't exactly Atem's meal of choice, either. _Kaiba really puts that much personal effort into focus groups?_

“Exactly. Let me know what you're in the mood for, and I'll work something out. Believe me, you're doing me a huge favor.”

By that time, they had pulled into the work site and were all the way to the future location of the arcade. Atem was telling Kaiba how impressed he was with the layout.

Kaiba shrugged. “It's really nothing. Most people wouldn't even notice it.” But Atem detected Kaiba's pleasure that Atem had.

They were met by a guard, who handed Kaiba a white hard hat with black trim and Atem the usual yellow. Atem smiled. It was important that everyone know that the boss was on site—not that they wouldn't recognize him anyway.

“Here, allow me,” Kaiba said. He booted up the console and initialized it to the endgame.

It was a little distracting having Kaiba look over his shoulder as he played. Having someone who was both his great rival and the game's designer tended to draw a little of his attention. Nevertheless, he found that he was drawn in quickly enough.

Afterward, Kaiba suggested that they go to an American-style steakhouse. They were seated in a private dining room with Kaiba's security nearby in a strategic location where they could monitor the doorway.

“So, the endgame … what did you think?”

“You were watching closely enough, so you should know,” Atem said amicably. Then, “It was satisfying, the way it opened up like nested boxes. It was surprising, and still challenging. I think people will want to come back after they've seen how it works.”

“Good, that's what I'm aiming for. It would be a pity if all that work were too easily tossed aside.” He frowned ever so slightly. “I do hope you have some suggestions.”

“Right, right. There are a few areas that I think you might want to take a look at.” He examined Seto's face as he spoke. He actually didn't care whether he criticized his baby? He began outlining some of the rough spots and what he thought might be the approach to alleviate them. “Is this the sort of feedback you want?”

“Exactly. The more detailed, the better, and go ahead and be blunt, it saves time. Honestly, Atem, what do you think focus groups are for, anyway?”

Atem fingered his water glass and said, “I never really took you for the sort who takes criticism well, Kaiba.”

Kaiba favored him with a slightly irritated expression. “There's a difference between constructive criticism and a personal attack, Atem. Too often I have to deal with the unfounded disparagement of those who have no idea what they're talking about or with whom they're dealing. It's annoying. This is entirely different. Focus groups are all about feedback and I don't take it personally. Furthermore, I specifically arranged for your comments and I value your opinion much more highly than the average focus group attendee.” He smiled to himself. “You wouldn't believe some of the comments I see.”

_Do you find those annoying, Kaiba?_ Atem wondered, but he thought better of asking him that question.

As the waiter placed their dishes in front of them, Atem asked, “Was ORP all that you wanted to talk about, Kaiba?”

“No, actually. You happened to mention that you had been doing some consulting for Otogi's company. Do you think it would constitute a conflict of interest if you did consulting for KaibaCorp as well?”

Atem frowned slightly as he cut into his filet mignon. “I don't think so, but I'll find out for certain. Why?”

Kaiba let a hint of a smile cross his face. “Do you recall when we were forced to duel as a team?”

Atem grinned back. “Which time?”

“I'd been thinking that the experience was actually—well, it would have been—some of the best fun I would have had dueling in those days … that is, if lives weren't on the line.”

“I wouldn't have known it from your complaints at the time.”

“Well, perhaps I've mellowed since then.”

“So you have.”

They ate in a comfortable silence for a few moments as the exchange sank in. Then Atem asked, “So what have you in mind? A tandem dueling game?”

“Nothing so literal as that. No, I'm thinking of—and I'll have to have you keep this completely confidential for now—a partner-ninja game using the next generation of my virtual reality pods. I'm thinking of taking the experience to the next level. To get anywhere, you'll have to rely on your partner to assist, and your partner has to contribute. You can't carry the load yourself.”

“You really have changed, Kaiba.”

“Hn.” Kaiba took a sip, then gathered himself. “So what do you think? Are you interested?”

“Very. I think that's a fascinating angle, perfect for your virtual reality system.”

“Wait until you experience the latest generation,” he said proudly. “It'll blow you away. The testing cycle is going to be murder.”

“Wow. Count me in.”

“Are you sure that there's no conflict of interest with what you're doing with Otogi?”

“Hm, now that you mention it … I don't think so, Otogi isn't doing any VR, but I'll check to make sure that everything's fine. I'd bend over backward to do it.” Atem fingered the stem of his wine glass uncertainly.

“What is it? Do you think Yugi will have some reservations?”

“No, it isn't that, it's … you made me think about this game that Yugi and I have been designing, that's all.”

“You've been designing a game? Why didn't you tell me?”

“It's only a board game.”

“KaibaCorp does have a board game division, you know. Tell me about it.”

“It's just that … it's half Yugi's and—”

“But you want a third-party opinion, right? Someone you trust to give their honest opinion?”

It was true that if Kaiba didn't like it, he would be brutally blunt about the fact. “Well, actually … yes.”

But it was more than that. He wanted to show Kaiba what he could do and he thought that, board game or not, what he and Yugi had put together so far was quite clever and addictive.

“Well, go ahead then. If you want, I'll sign a non-disclosure and promise not to steal any of your ideas. I carry all the standard forms in my limousine.”

Atem smiled. Leave it to Kaiba. “I think I'll trust you this once,” he said.

“You should really learn not to do that.”

Atem enthusiastically outlined all the basics and strategies of the game, then explained what they were working on and where they were stuck.

“You know, that sounds quite promising,” said Kaiba. “If you'll consider bringing it to KaibaCorp, I'll give you a superior deal.”

“What do you mean?”

“Generally we'd make an offer to purchase the concept, but for you I'd offer a percentage of profit deal.”

“Why would you do that?”

He shrugged. “Incentive, but mainly it helps to know the CEO.”

Atem laughed, and just like that, their desserts appeared. Atem studied his crème brûlée and said, “When we saw you at the Marrakesh Domino, you thanked me. For the life of me, I can't imagine why.”

Kaiba surprised him by laughing. “You can't? After all the lectures you've given me, you're surprised that I bothered to listen to one of them? Really, Atem, I'm not completely unreasonable.”

_Lecture?_

Atem frowned, trying to think back.

“Please, Atem. Usually you're not this dense. It took Mokuba and Isis to help convince me, but—”

“Alcatraz?”

Atem had been surprised to see Kaiba reappear to toss him that card, but in the course of events, he hadn't really questioned it. It had seemed … somehow predestined.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

Kaiba cast him an ironic look and said, “You censured me with all that about anger, hatred, desire, and despair consuming me; I just wrote it off as the victor's right to castigate the loser. But … Mokuba pointed out that I had initially … liked you, as he said … from my heart and that he wanted the 'old me' back. And then, Isis …” He paused, looking off out the window.

“Kaiba …?”

He cleared his throat, returning his gaze to Atem. “She was prepared for the eventuality that you might not be able to save her brother. In that case she would have remained on Alcatraz,” he said simply.

… _and died._

Atem stared at him.

So that's what had done it in the end. Her determination to save her brother and her refusal to fail him. Both of them were so loyal to their little brothers that they would do anything to protect them and could not accept failure. This is what it took for him to test Atem's “miracle,” his “power of friendship.”

“Whatever it took to convince you, Kaiba, I'm glad. You seem … at peace. Much happier.”

“When Mokuba said he wanted the 'old me' back, I remembered telling him about my dream to build amusement parks around the world where I could allow orphans like us in to play together for free. That's when I decided to turn the dream into reality. I wasn't sure I could bury my anger and hatred under the tower at Alcatraz, but so far …”

“I'm proud of you, Kaiba.”

“I don't need your approval,” Kaiba said shortly. “Still, thanks. Again. That defeat … was crushing. But it taught me an important lesson.” Kaiba swirled his snifter of Courvoisier and commented, “You're the one who showed me that you can leverage your gains by relying on good relationships, Atem. The key is finding people that you can rely on.” He lifted the snifter and stared into it thoughtfully for a moment. “And being a person who people want to support.”

“Kaiba, I've seen your employees. They're the most loyal employees I've seen. Especially the ones who deal with you directly.”

He looked a little surprised. “I'm not—I'm not a particularly loving—or lovable—person. I haven't changed. Not that much.”

“Perhaps not, but you're fair. You do great things for the community. And you love what you're doing. You want to create something great. It's not as common as you might think, Kaiba.”

“I'll let you in on something. I think this VR game could be the start of something great.”

“And you say your inspiration was our duels together?”

“Yes. Why?”

Atem allowed a wistful smile to haunt his lips and mused, “I always thought that there was no one else who could anticipate my moves, prepare mutual strategies, or signal me as well as you, Kaiba. I admit, I had my doubts at first—”

“I always wanted to do things my own way,” Kaiba shrugged.

“Meaning alone.”

“Granted.”

Atem took the last bite of his crème brûlée and frowned ever so slightly. “Not so much any more?”

“Didn't I ask you to help me with this project? I even told you about it without forcing you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.”

“Huh.” He stared at Kaiba openly for a moment, only to see Kaiba's unconcealed amusement at his shock.

“One's supposed to trust one's friends, Atem. Isn't that what you've been telling me all this time?” He studied his Courvoisier for a long moment. “Besides,” he said brightly, taking a sip. “If you prove untrustworthy, I can always stop trusting you.”

The prospect of Kaiba not trusting him seemed horribly sad as well as dangerous. But it was Kaiba's jaunty attitude that struck Atem. He chuckled and shook his head. “I can just picture you happily chopping my head off as you move on.”

“Hardly, but you never know!” he said cheerfully.

“Your wanting my help? After all we went through, it makes me glad.”

“Don't ruin it for me, Atem.”

“Still allergic to sentiment? Fine by me.” They lingered over the remains of their desserts in silence for a few moments, then Atem said, “Did you say that you no longer dueled?”

“Yes, I promised Mokuba that I wouldn't.”

“Do you mind, or am I …?”

“No, it's quite all right. I don't elaborate for the press, but … Frankly, Atem, you should know all about it.” He shrugged. “After Alcatraz …”

“But Kaiba, you—”

“I made exceptions. When I had to. When my company was at stake, or …”

… _or there were larger issues._

Atem didn't press him for a further explanation. “Where—?”

Kaiba offered a ghost of a smile. “My vault. And you?”

Atem lifted his jacket to reveal what appeared to be a shoulder holster, only fashioned for a deck. The fastening was quite secure. He smiled. “Yugi likes to keep his on his belt, but …”

_If a deck is like a heart …_

It crossed his mind without warning, his heart skipping a beat in reaction. As he recovered from the physical sensation, he found that he had pulled out his deck and was offering it to Kaiba. “Would you like to take a look?” he said, amazed by his own words.

Kaiba looked slightly stunned as he placed his hand on Atem's deck. “Are you sure?”

Atem was anything but sure. He was handing his deck to the man who had been his chief rival for … well … ever. Although he looked at cards with Yugi still, he didn't go through his deck with him any more … They didn't even go through Yugi's. Not since Egypt. Did he really trust Kaiba so much? Still, he decided that he wasn't going to turn back then. “Of course.” He chuckled confidently. “Your knowing my deck and my dueling style hasn't changed the outcome of our duels in the past.”

“Touché,” Kaiba said, but there was no defensiveness in the word.

As Atem watched those large hands carefully handle his deck, a thrill ran through him. It was almost as though he were stripping in front of Kaiba, the way such an examination exposed his every vulnerability and strength. He felt like he wanted simultaneously both to hide and to show off. Atem felt heat rise to his cheeks as he watched Kaiba's long fingers manipulate the cards, almost caressing them, hoping that he wouldn't look up. Atem didn't want Kaiba to catch him blushing.

Atem knew that Kaiba had large hands, but, watching him now, he seemed to realize for the first time just how large and dextrous they were, as he trailed one long, tapered finger lovingly along the back of each card, then carefully found its edge with another to pick it up.

“You still have this in your deck?” he said with some surprise. “It's a high-cost card for ordinary play.”

“Devil's Sanctuary?” _Why was that there, anyway?_ “Oh, yes,” he said, “that's right, I'd added it back in because I was hoping to run into you—what with our beta testing and all. I never had the opportunity to return it to you.”

Kaiba chuckled. “And you think that I don't have the resources to replace that card in all this time? Really, Atem, if I needed that card back from you, I would have requested it. Please. Keep it.” He smiled, a genuine smile. “You know, these days, with KaibaCorp's current relationship with Industrial Illusions, I can obtain almost any card I need … with the exception of certain promotional cards, limited editions, a few out-of-print collector's items, and, of course, the god cards.”

“I've had those sealed, Kaiba.”

“A shame, really, but I suppose it's for the best.”

With that, Kaiba returned to his perusal of Atem's deck. “You don't change greatly, do you?” he commented.

“I like to think I evolve. I don't abandon cards that serve me well. As I recall, neither do you. You haven't removed all your normal monsters, have you?”

As in Blue Eyes White Dragon cards.

“Do you think I'd tell you?”

“Do you think you need to tell me?”

“I suppose not … at least with regard to certain cards.”

Atem smiled. “You still favor spells over traps, I see,” Kaiba remarked.

He handed Atem's deck back. “Any judgments?”

“You're the King of Games, Atem. At this point, I have nothing to say.”

Atem studied his rival. The man seemed considerably less driven—at least on the surface, anyway. That could pose a real problem when they next dueled.

_I promised Mokuba that I wouldn't duel …_

… The problem was … Atem was starting to want that duel. And he didn't think that urge was going to lessen any time soon.

**Chapter Notes …**

Coolio! I now have kudos for this re-posting. I am ever so grateful! :)

Isis: “Ishizu” is the Japanese translation of “Isis,” so … I hope you will bear with this quirk. (And I notice I messed up in an earlier chapter, sigh, going to fix it.)

_In that case she would have remained on Alcatraz_ : From the manga. (Too bad this wasn't kept for the anime.)

_They're the most loyal employees I've seen_ : We're not speaking of Gozaburo's remains here, but Seto's employees. Ref Isono from the Atlantis arc.

_you thanked me_ : My assertion that the duel at Alcatraz clearly has an effect on Seto.

_a partner-ninja game_ : OOC? I say no, not after Atem proves his “power of friendship.” (See the above note.)

Note for future reference: Although I tend to enjoy puzzles and games, they're more the classic sort, and I can't say that I have an in-depth knowledge of Duel Monsters or video games. I'm trying to get around this by sketching in video game play vaguely and limiting duel action (tell me you're sad). Any virtual reality play will come out of my fevered imagination.


	5. Smelling the Coffee

Atem awoke to the smell of coffee and groaned.

“So …” Yugi said, watching Atem drag himself over to pour himself a cup of the fragrant beverage, “just how late did you stay up, anyway?”

“Too late.”

“Why don't you take the day off today? I'll cover with Grandpa.”

“Normally, I'd gut it out, but this time … thanks.” Atem sat down and dosed the coffee with cream and sugar. “Ah, that's the stuff.” He scowled at his cup. “How does Kaiba do it? I'm sure he's already at his office.”

“Oh, right. Kaiba—make that his assistant—called. He wants to schedule some sort of presentation.”

“Damn it, he didn't even give me a chance to talk to you about it. Uh, Yugi, I sort of—I mean, would it be all right if we—We didn't promise—”

Yugi laughed. Atem normally didn't act flustered like this. “Are you trying to ask whether it's OK if we show SpellQuest to KaibaCorp? We haven't really talked with Otogi about it at all, so I don't see why not. If you like, I'll talk to Otogi about it.”

“No, that's OK. I have to work out legal details anyway.”

“About what?”

Atem suddenly found his coffee cup fascinating. “I kind of tentatively accepted a consulting job with KaibaCorp.”

“Man, you work fast!” Yugi laughed. “Or else Kaiba does, I don't know which!”

Atem couldn't help but stare. Yugi was finding this situation way too funny. “What's wrong with you?”

“Oh, nothing. I just think the way you too are hitting it off after butting heads all this time is just … well, kind of classic. Sorry.”

Atem grimaced. “You want an omelet?”

“Sure, but don't try to change the subject. I want to hear every detail.”

“OK, but I'd appreciate it if you acted a little less squirrelly.”

“I'll do my best.”

Atem swiftly outlined what had happened.

“Huh. So you let him look at your deck?”

“Yeah.”

“You don't even let me look at your deck anymore.”

“I guess not.”

“That's weird.”

“I thought so too, but we were talking about the times we were forced to duel together and before I knew it we were talking about our current decks and I had already handed him mine. So … I couldn't really ask him to hand it back without letting him look at it, now, could I?”

“Hm. I guess not. Still, you say you handed your deck to him without thinking?” Yugi smiled. “Psychologists would have a field day.”

“I guess I'm fortunate you're not a psychologist,” he said with very pointed emphasis.

Yugi laughed. “I can take a hint.”

“Oh really? You could have fooled me.”

“Admit it. You've wanted Kaiba as a friend as much as I have.”

“Jealous?”

“A little. I _am_ the current duel champion, you know.”

Now Atem laughed. “Guess he sees me as his rival. Even if we're not dueling, there's a _thing_ , you know? He … sees me in a different way.”

“He sees you as his equal, Atem. You're the only one he sees as an equal. _Now_ … I don't think it would matter how many tournaments I won or if I beat him. It's gone beyond dueling. He still wouldn't see me as his equal.”

Atem frowned at that. “But—”

“It's who you are, Atem,” Yugi shrugged. “It's sort of _there_ … in the way you stand and move, in your eyes, the way you speak. You're a pharaoh.”

“But … _friends_ … with Kaiba.”

He tried to picture it. But … wasn't last night kind of like friends hanging out? Hanging out? Kaiba? He couldn't picture it, and yet … they had eaten a nice dinner together, shared pleasant conversation, and looked at cards.

His thoughts were interrupted by an unpleasant odor.

“Oh man!” He tossed the burnt omelet out and began work on another, taking a moment to stab Yugi with a withering glance.

Yugi had both hands over his mouth, suppressing his laughter.


	6. Blown Away

Atem sat at a desk scratching his head. At least Kaiba had made it a comfortable, pleasant desk with a nice, ergonomic chair and soft lighting.

First Kaiba had Atem undergo a thorough medical examination. Now, an incredibly detailed psychological exam? Then … some other sort of questionnaire? Wasn't this about gaming?

Atem stared at the virtual paper in front of him, twirling his virtual pen through his virtual fingers.

_I tend to be unbiased even when this might endanger my good relations with other people._

True or False?

_Hm … I'll bet I know how Kaiba would answer this question_ , Atem thought. _It's not so easy for me_.

_I value justice more highly than mercy …_

He sighed. Only about 200 or so virtual questions to go.

* * *

When Atem emerged from the VR pod, Kaiba looked him over carefully. “Not too grueling?”

“Actually …”

“The more detailed the information I have, the better the experience,” Kaiba said nonapologetically. “From a practical standpoint, I don't think that I can dispense with the testing. I can minimize it for a lower-grade experience … Perhaps … add a simple reward game at the end of all this using key questions …”

Atem watched as Kaiba's demeanor transformed as he became lost in thought. “Ahem. Earth to Kaiba.”

“Oh … yes. Right. Excuse me, Atem.”

“When can we get started with actual gaming?”

“It's going to take several hours to crunch all the numbers and build the experience even with the computational power at my disposal. Perhaps it would be best to come back tomorrow? Otherwise we'd be here all night. I think maybe … fresh?”

Atem thought it over. He was anxious to get started, but the testing had taken up most of the day, and if it was going to take hours more … It was already three pm. “All right, Kaiba.”

“I'll have my secretary schedule it and give you a call.”

* * *

Atem grabbed the scroll and handed it to Kaiba, signaling him to put it in his pack. Kaiba signaled back: “Why me?”

Atem signaled: “I'm taking point. You're support and lookout.”

Kaiba silently agreed. He couldn't object given his skill set. Atem would take the offensive. Kaiba deftly manipulated his hands in the shapes of a few symbols, then opened his eyes, which had suddenly become opalescent. It was hard for Atem not to look back and admire the beautiful effect, but he needed to keep his focus on the field ahead. A tap on his shoulder told him it was OK to move.

In a few swift steps they were out of the temple. They ran, Kaiba scanning for long-range threats as they went. It seemed all too quiet.

As they ran fluidly over the VR landscape, Atem reflected how seamlessly real this world was—even more real than Noah's world had been. Everything was completely solid—Kaiba, everything—and he could feel everything—the sensation of his feet striking the earth, his breath heaving, his pulse pounding—everything. He could even smell the earth and a slight scent of jasmine blossoms carried by the cool night breeze. A brilliant display of the milky way peeked through the canopy above them. It was …

astounding.

But even more than that, the fantasy element was realized in a way that he wouldn't have believed possible. The game apparently had a built-in knowledge basis because he somehow immediately understood what the character he was playing knew: That his abilities were based on energy flow throughout the body and that certain people had the ability to control and focus that energy flow. These people were ninja and lived in the ninja villages. He also remembered his own training, abilities and basic backstory, as well as his association with Kaiba's character.

The scenario that they were playing out had an interesting backstory for the two of them in which Atem had been promoted in Kaiba's place, leading to a falling-out between once-close friends. It was extremely odd, because even though he could recognize that these were not true memories, they held a certain resonance.

But most of all, during the battle phases, he could actually _feel_ the energy flowing through his body. He didn't have to think about how to do it, he just did it without any controls. Somehow Kaiba's equipment was responding to his intent. If he'd focus on transferring energy into an arrow, he'd feel energy flow from all over his body, through his core, then through his arm and hand and out into the arrow, where it glowed soft red. The arrow gained power and accuracy with the infusion.

He was in the process of trying to comprehend the full scope of Kaiba's achievement when Kaiba whispered with a quiet urgency, “Above us!” indicating enemy ninja in the scattered trees around them. He gestured again and breathed through a ring formed by his thumb and finger, which caused a huge gale to blow immediately upward. There were screams as enemy ninja were carried on the gale.

However, it quickly became clear that the opposing force was too great for Kaiba's abilities. Atem positioned himself next to Kaiba and breathed, “Too many.”

“Agreed. Proceed to Escape beta.”

Kaiba immediately knelt on one knee and bowed over it, while signing again. At the same time, Atem backed up a few steps, then, at Kaiba's signal, ran straight up his back, simultaneously extending a kite-like extension from his pack. Immediately, he was carried into the air over their attackers on a fresh gale from his partner.

Kaiba provided the updrafts, while Atem summoned arms and rained vicious barrages of paper bombs and energy-infused weapons upon their attackers.

It wasn't enough. Looking around, Atem realized they were facing an army. He signaled to Kaiba, but the army had surrounded his partner's location and obscured him from view.

“ _No!_ ” he shouted.

As though in response, a kite-carrier came zooming silently and swiftly up toward him. Atem deftly snatched it from the airstream.

The scroll. The mission. Of course.

But … he had to … they were partners …

Then he felt the results of Kaiba's last effort, a huge “hurricane” wind, that carried him helplessly away from the action.

_No! But … Kaiba!_

He had to get back, but the wind was too powerful and propelled him away from the action.

As he fought the blast, it was almost as though he could hear Kaiba's deep, commanding voice … but what it said was so strange. “Alcatraz …”

The world melted away.

* * *

The next thing Atem knew, he was lying in a virtual-reality game chamber and Kaiba was leaning over him with amused concern.

_Alcatraz_ … right. It was Kaiba's safety word. A word unlikely to come up in the game that is easily remembered that can be used to pause it. Atem's safety word was _Osiris_.

“Sorry to pause the game, but it looked like we—as in you—needed the break. I'm going to take this as evidence that my Virtuosity System is delivering the goods. But seriously, are you well? The look on your face …” He produced something that looked like a Razr from his pocket and glanced at it. “Hn. Your heart rate and blood pressure were elevated. I'm incorporating additional medical safeguards into this system. It will be worth the extra expense.”

“Sorry … I guess I got carried away. That army …” There had been too many times when he'd come close enough to losing Kaiba in real life. Pegasus … Noah … Dartz. Duelists' Kingdom …

“Hn.” Kaiba paused, thinking. “But this is just a game. It … it's not too realistic, is it? Do I need to back off? This is supposed to be a fun experience, you know. And … it _is_ calibrated. I thought …”

Atem knew without Kaiba having to say it. Because Atem thought the same way. He thought that Atem would want the most heightened, realistic experience possible.

He was right.

“Kaiba,” Atem said, “don't change anything. You might need to limit exposure to the higher levels, though.”

“I've already considered that. In fact, that's partly what we're testing right now. Not everyone is healthy enough to undergo this degree of stress.”

_Right. The data that Kaiba's recording from these tests …_

There was a discreet knock at the door and Kaiba walked off to answer it, leaving Atem to ponder whether he really thought that was such a good idea after all. Did he really want to share how hard Kaiba's death—even his simulated death—had hit him? Too late now.

Kaiba returned with two glasses of iced tea. “Sit up and drink,” he commanded. “You know, the game isn't supposed to end there. You need to continue it and see what happens next.”

Atem frowned. “It's not fair. You know what happens and I don't.”

“I don't know exactly what happens,” Kaiba said evenly, sitting cross-legged on the foot of the pod and sipping his iced tea. “I put in literally hundreds of thousands of variables. These variables depend on the input of the gamers themselves. Our experience is individually tailored based on the input of the both of us. The experience is designed for friends to enjoy together.”

“That's what all those questions were about?”

“Don't worry. You don't have to go through the third degree every time you play. It's your profile. The only times you need to interact with the profiling program are when it's modified or you want to update something in your profile.”

“I thought that exercise was rather invasive for a game.”

“Perhaps you thought I had a hidden agenda?” Kaiba asked, a hint of a smirk appearing at the corner of his lips.

“Well … no, but … I have to admit that the thought crossed my mind, considering our history. There's probably data that you could use against me in a duel. On the other hand, you're no longer the man who built Death-T.”

“I'd hope not. What a profligate waste of money.”

Atem couldn't help laughing. “Why, because it didn't fulfill its purpose?”

“I was referring to its inefficiency and expense. Though it's still in use as an amusement center … But I really don't want to dwell on that …”

Atem felt a twinge of guilt. Kaiba didn't want to remember that he was capable of such vindictive, destructive emotion. “Yes, sorry. This game …”

“Right. The questionnaire is important because this sort of game can be quite … intense, as you've just experienced. It's designed to create a psychological profile as well as a profile of preferences. This, in addition to the health exam enables the software to determine limiting factors.”

“Is that why the profiling is so grueling?”

“Exactly. The number crunching takes so long that you can't simply jump straight into a game. That's why I'm considering rewarding the profiling process with a simple game that only takes a very few questions from the profile into account.”

“You're amazing, Kaiba.”

Kaiba managed to say nothing while looking like he was suppressing a strong desire to say, “I know.”

“Can we get back into the game now?”

Kaiba looked thoughtful. “Let's wait until our next session. I want to take a look at the data before we proceed. Is that acceptable?”

“If you think that's best.”

**Chapter Notes:**

Apparently I noted that this was the hardest chapter to write upon the original posting. It was one of the hardest. The epilogue was probably the hardest of all. Still valid is probably the plea to please bear with me through this section of the story. ;) It does get a little more interesting (I think) as it develops.

I chose air as Kaiba's element because air is associated with intellect. Atem's skill is energy flow, which I think suits his “unity” theme. At this point in the game, the idea is that their talents are not at their highest levels.


	7. Divinations of Antiquity

Atem stood in the lobby of KaibaCorp saying goodbye to the Yugi-tachi. “Aren't you coming with?” asked Jounouchi.

“No, Kaiba asked me to stick around to consult with him about a project.”

He fondly watched the gang leave, listening to their happy interplay. As the din receded into the distance, he gradually became aware of another presence.

“Why are you still here?”

“Huh?”

It was Bakura … no, it was the spirit of the Ring … Zorc, actually. Atem studied him suspiciously.

_Zorc had been destroyed._

_Oh, right. This is a dream._

Since Atem had received his own body, he had been having extremely vivid, realistic dreams. He assumed it had something to do with having existed in spirit form for so many centuries. After all, the spirit state is so similar to an eternal dream. Occasionally he found the dreams to be quite disturbing, particularly when he ran into certain people and situations like this.

“Oh, hi, Bakura. Why don't you go back where you belong?”

“You haven't answered my question. Why are you still here? I thought you were planning on joining your little friends.”

Atem frowned slightly. Hadn't Bakura seen them leaving?

“It's none of your business, but I'm waiting for Kaiba.”

“Are you now?” Bakura laughed. “I thought it was the other way around!”

“What are you—what are you talking about?” But Bakura was so stricken by renewed paroxysms of laughter that he couldn't speak.

“Out! _Now!_ ”

“Seto?” Atem didn't realize until the word was out that he had used Kaiba's given name.

Kaiba was so intent on removing Bakura from the premises that he didn't seem to notice. “You'll be dealt with in due time, understand? In the meantime, I won't allow you to threaten my employees, partners, or friends—rivals, either.”

This only seemed to make Bakura laugh even harder, but he headed for the door on unsteady feet. “You two …” he gasped. “You're hilarious. Don't worry, I'm going!” With that, he whirled through the revolving doors, leaving Atem and Kaiba staring at each other.

“Sorry about that,” said Atem. “Have I kept you waiting?”

“Yes, but I was expecting that. Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

“For our duel, of course.”

“What, we were going to … we weren't planning on dueling, were we?”

“Of course we were. We've been planning this for a long time—or I have, anyway. We're rivals, aren't we?” Kaiba said this with typical pride.

“Of course, but … I don't remember planning any duel …”

“You wouldn't,” he replied evenly. “But we need to decide who duels _him_.”

_Him?_

Kaiba had cocked his head slightly and Atem followed that indication. Over in the shadows at the east end of the lobby stood Malik … but not the kinder, gentler version.

“The theme of my deck is _revelation_ ,” he said with an evil grin.

Atem awoke with a start.

_Revelation?_

* * *

Atem dressed quickly and stumbled sleepily to the kitchenette, where he found Yugi fixing breakfast. “Want some tea?” Yugi asked.

“Yes, thanks,” he said. “I just had the weirdest dream.”

“Tell me about it.” Yugi never failed to find Atem's dreams entertaining. After the summary, Yugi asked, “That was a strange one. Do you suppose that came up because of the consulting you're doing?”

“Probably. It featured Kaiba.”

“It also brought up a lot of past issues. Does that mean you haven't resolved things with Kaiba?”

“I don't see what couldn't be … unless it's about dueling again. But we aren't going to do that anytime soon.”

“But you want to.”

“Uhn! How do _you_ know?”

“I know you want to know more about the new Kaiba, why and how he's changed … more about him. And … you … for you, the best way to learn about people is to duel them.”

“I can't ask him. Not now. He's—”

“You're too used to having him come after you, aren't you?” Yugi asked. “Too proud to challenge him?”

“No, he promised Mokuba.”

“You're too damn proud. He'd probably make an exception for you.”

Atem scowled. “We have other things to concentrate on right now.”

“You and your pride.”

**Chapter notes:**

Just as an aside, this teeny chapter was originally posted on Valentine's day. Huh, not particularly romantic.

Yugi's interpretation is just his interpretation. It might be spot-on, partially right, or completely wrong.

Just a note about dreams: I'm careful about putting in dream sequences. And yet I ended up putting more than one into this (I'd thought it would only be one; the first one I wrote is still coming up). The thing is that they should all be meaningful, which (hopefully) they are.


	8. Amity in Alpha

Atem emerged from the VR pod and almost leapt to his feet. Meanwhile, Kaiba emerged from his a little more slowly and elegantly.

“Kaiba! That was _incredible!_ I'd thought you'd had it back at the temple where we'd picked up the scroll—”

“You really think I'd be dispensed with so easily? However, that was a little tricky. I was a little surprised to encounter such a difficult wrinkle so early on, but, frankly, I set it at the highest difficulty level.”

“For the first go? No wonder it was so challenging.”

Kaiba looked at him without concern. “Of course. I wanted to check the limits and I know our abilities. It's not like the game is fatal, Atem. I have fail-safes in place.”

“Of course. I see what you're after. So that's how we got separated.”

“Yes. It's a partner game, but separations are well within the parameters of the game. These sorts of events would naturally occur at the higher levels. But as you saw, I turned up again quickly enough.”

“And how! It was kind of like—like a movie, so dramatic, the way you showed up at the last moment when I thought I'd had it. And with added abilities.”

“It's not as though you hadn't leveled up.”

“Oh, and I liked the way you did leveling-up, in a sort of shorthand.”

“I didn't think you wanted to be bored by all that grueling training.

“And you'd be right.” Atem thought back over the script they'd played out. It had had interesting connections to their own relationship, and yet it was so very different. “You say the computer generates these scenarios?”

“In a word, yes. But that's a short way to sum up a very complex process. The basic story template is set going in, but the details change depending on the decisions made by the players. The system is constantly re-calculating. The fact that two players are involved further complicates things.”

“I think I understand what you're saying, Kaiba. It's … really something. It's going to be hard to criticize, actually.”

“I'm sure we can find any number of things to improve. You've already helped a great deal. The physiological results alone have been invaluable.”

“So, what next?”

He smiled—just for a second. “In the long run, there's additional game environments. But first things first. I have a lot of analysis to do, and I'll need to go over your impressions in detail. Let's … hn … I'll have my assistant schedule a lunch meeting, say, tomorrow.”

“Why not today, while it's fresh in my mind?”

“I thought I'd allow you a chance to rest a little before I pressed you. I understand—from Mokuba—that when I'm digging into a subject that's important to me I can be a little imperious.”

“I don't think I'll have any problem telling you to tone it down a notch or two, Kaiba. Let's do it today unless you have another meeting you have to go to.”

“Excellent, then. I'll have my assistant make the arrangements.”

“But, Kaiba. Additional environments?”

“Oh, are you that interested?” Kaiba asked, eyes sparkling. “And … do have any special requests?”

“Well, actually …”

Kaiba's smile swelled with pride as he said, “I have just started work on another one, but I have no more than a demo to show. There's no story format to it at all. It's barely started. Normally, I wouldn't show it to anyone but Mokuba, but …” Kaiba seemed to chew something over in his mind for a moment, then he said, “Yes, I'll make an exception. I can give you a taste of it. Just a taste, mind you. As with this, I count on your discretion not to speak of it until the formal announcements.”

“Of course. When can I see it?”

“You let me grill you over lunch, and we'll see.”

* * *

Atem had to take a moment recover because at first he was completely disoriented. He found himself floating above a beautiful mountainous landscape, among the clouds.

“Like I told you, this is just a demo. There's nothing that's ready for testing, but I thought you might appreciate a taste of what I have in mind.”

Atem looked over to see Kaiba floating perfectly upright and composed, clad in a black and white, armor-y superhero costume with a large B on it. A cape floated out behind him spectacularly; Atem couldn't help but notice that it wasn't a satin one, but had an interesting, muted sheen.

Collecting himself, Atem relaxed so that he fell into the same sort of naturally upright floating position. It seemed to be one of the steady “states” for this game. Then he looked at his own costume.

“I don't really have a very good idea of your tastes,” he said, “so I patterned it after ancient Egyptian pharaonic garb. I hope that you don't find it insulting.” He paused thoughtfully. “I really must add some fashion and costuming details to the interview process.”

Actually, Atem thought it was rather attractive and somewhat amusing, down to the large P on his chest. “This is a bit more revealing than what you're wearing,” he pointed out.

“Your day wear is generally more revealing than mine,” he said unapologetically. “Give me your input and I'll design your superhero garb accordingly. Do you want to take a short flight or do something else?”

“By all means, lets fly!”

“Try this,” said Kaiba, settling into a horizontal position and skimming slowly forward.

Atem mimicked Kaiba's movements and quickly caught up.

Without comment, Kaiba sped up and dove toward the mountains. Soon they were skimming over the valleys, diving into chasms to touch the lakes, and racing each other up to the cloud tops. Then they spiraled around each other through the clouds, laughing joyously, leaving amazing geometric trails glistening in the sunlight behind them.

At last, Kaiba chose a hanging meadow to land in and they stood there enjoying the view spread before them. It seemed to Atem that for that moment, they were alone in the world.

“Do you have superpowers other than flying yet?” asked Atem.

“Not yet. I've barely begun work on this.”

Atem smiled. “I could live with just the flying, Kaiba.”

Kaiba shrugged. “Naturally, the environment for the story won't all be 'natural splendor.' I created that for the demo.”

“Of course. It's perfect for the flying demo. Kaiba … no need to explain. It's … incredible. Really.”

“You were flying in the ninja game,” Seto commented. “Was that so different?”

“That was more like gliding,” Atem pointed out. “We were flying under our own power this time.” And, flying together was so much fun. But, somehow, he didn't want to point that out lest Seto take it the wrong way.

“This is nothing. Just wait until I have transformational experiences programmed.”

“Transformational experiences?”

Kaiba smiled cryptically. “Flying as a bird. Swimming as a fish. However, birds and fish have extended sensory abilities and I want to get the experience just right. For example, birds can see more of the light spectrum and can detect magnetic fields. Mimicking that experience poses difficult programmatic problems. It will take some time for me to solve them, so those experiences will come later.”

_Kaiba is such a perfectionist_ , Atem thought.

“I look forward to it.”

For a moment, they stood and enjoyed the view, watching the clouds move over the valley, a brisk breeze ruffling their hair.

Had Kaiba actually allowed himself to laugh and play like a child? That was a side of him Atem had never expected to see, but … Kaiba was the CEO of a game company. Surely part of him wanted to play and have a good time. But that seemed to be a part of himself he usually tried very hard to conceal.

How had he let it show? And why … why had he let it out in front of Atem?

Atem said, “It's good to see you relax and have fun, Kaiba.”

When Kaiba didn't answer immediately, Atem glanced over to find that a hint of pink had touched his cheeks.

Had he not meant to do that? He wasn't embarrassed, was he?

He turned to give Kaiba his full attention. “It's—there's nothing wrong with having fun, Kaiba,” he said.

“Hn.” This seemed to be all Kaiba was willing to say. “At any rate, Atem, I think you've seen all there is to this demo.”

“Honestly, Kaiba, I could just fly around this landscape all day.”

“You're easily amused.”

Reluctantly, Atem exited the pod and said goodbye to Kaiba.

As he left the building he reflected that the more that he consulted for KaibaCorp, the more he learned about his rival and friend … or was it friend and rival? He'd known that Kaiba tended to wear a mask around people, but was he really so uncomfortable letting it slip? He hadn't shown any weakness. He'd only shown a capacity for happiness and joy … all good qualities.

When Atem hit the pavement, he couldn't help but turn and look back at the KaibaCorp building momentarily, wondering about its CEO.

**Chapter notes:**

Costuming: _B_ for boss, _P_ for pharaoh.

I know, this feels like total fluff, but it does serve its purpose. Next chapter, we turn a corner.


	9. Presentation

Atem rode up to the 57th floor with a little trepidation. He had insisted that Yugi come along, but somehow he had begged off, offering some sort of excuse about needing to meet with Otogi. Atem had tried to impress the importance of this meeting with him, but Yugi was adamant that they needed to maintain ties with Otogi.

“And we have to maintain ties _today?_ ” Atem had asked.

“Yes. Today. It's essential, believe me.” Yugi had supplied the details, but Atem was positive there was more to it than he was saying. Atem made a mental note to try to find out what Yugi was planning with Otogi. Could it be something Yugi had planned to surprise him? He shrugged it off. He needed to have full focus for this meeting with Kaiba, especially if Yugi wasn't there to catch what he didn't.

Somehow, Atem felt perfectly at ease with Kaiba when they were testing games together or talking about them, but the prospect of a business meeting made him feel distinctly ill at ease and distracted.

He thought back, watching the express elevator lights crawl up toward 57. Did this … did it go all the way back to the Marrakesh? He sighed. He really needed to analyze this. He wondered whether it was all about the change that he'd detected in Kaiba. He needed to understand the full nature of that change and his own reaction to it.

Atem was slightly stunned when the doors opened.

He groaned. He still wasn't prepared! He and Kaiba were working in a common cause here and yet he still felt as though he needed to cover several cards to protect himself.

He took several deep breaths and stopped by Kaiba's assistant's desk. “Kaiba-sama asked me to send you straight in,” she said.

Atem breezed through the outer office where Mokuba was working on his studies, waving a hello as he went. “Hi, Atem. If Seto's asleep, just wake him up, OK?”

_Asleep?_ Atem stopped in his tracks and looked at Mokuba.

“Don't worry about it,” Mokuba said. “He's just been working extra late lately.”

_Don't worry about it?_ Somehow Atem didn't find that particularly reassuring. Nevertheless, he knocked softly on Kaiba's door. Receiving no answer, he looked at Mokuba questioningly, but he said, “Go on in. Seto's probably just concentrating.”

Atem nodded and slipped in quietly only to find Kaiba draped over the desk, those dangerous eyes of his closed by sleep. Working too hard … as usual.

_Now what?_

Diffidently, Atem approached Kaiba. Something compelled him to wake Kaiba because he really didn't want to remain in the room watching him sleep. There was something truly disturbing about it, although he couldn't put his finger on just what it was.

Yet, somehow he didn't want to touch Kaiba either.

But … that was silly. Just what did he think would happen? They had been compelled to touch as part of the VR game and that had been no problem at all.

He reached out and put his hand on Kaiba's shoulder lightly. “Kaiba … our meeting. Do you … do you still want to meet?”

At his touch, Kaiba's eyes instantly opened, fixing upon Atem. He understood the situation with a preternatural rapidity. “I beg your pardon,” he said.

“Would you like to postpone the meeting, Kaiba? Yugi needed to meet with Otogi anyway …”

“No, not at all.” Kaiba stood, smoothing his jacket, and walked to a bar area behind his desk. “I prefer to have a single point of contact that I deal with directly, anyway. It simplifies things. Can I get you something to drink, Atem?” He glanced in the mirror, checking the state of his hair as he gathered two glasses.

“Whatever you're having.”

“Iced tea, then.” Kaiba brought the glasses over on a tray and placed them on his desk. “Very well. Are you ready for the demo of SpellQuest?”

“Demo? What do you mean? Do you want to play a test game? But haven't you been testing it with focus groups?”

“Yes, we've been testing the board game for the past month and it's almost ready. Thanks for all your efforts in that area, by the way,” Kaiba said. “I certainly didn't have the bandwidth to keep up with that personally. No, the demo is for the video game.”

“The … what? But we—” _haven't talked about that_.

“I thought I'd take the liberty of surprising you with it. If it works, we'll amend the contract. If not … no harm done.”

“But … you've spent all that time …”

“I checked on the data from the focus groups, and with my own play … it was a natural for a video game. Surely you noticed it yourself, Atem.”

Actually, he had, but he wasn't a programmer and neither was Yugi. “I don't know what to—”

“Oh, don't make so much of it. If my calculations are correct, this should bring in a good return. I'm not working for free, Atem.”

Then why did he feel like he was opening a gift as he began to play the demo game?

* * *

Kaiba met Atem and Yugi in the KaibaLand offices a few weeks later. “Are you ready for the announcement?” he asked. They were officially releasing the SpellQuest board game. The video game would come later.

Yugi looked extremely nervous. “Uh, sort of …” he said.

Atem chuckled. “You've been dueling for, how long now? At least four years. You should be used to the attention by now.”

“But … but I can usually keep away from speaking engagements.”

“Or, in your case, Aibou, squeaking engagements.”

“Atem!”

Kaiba took in the little squabble with light amusement, then said, “Let's get started. I believe one of my publicists went over the outline with you? Good.” He shot them a reassuring half-smile and led them out into the lobby of KaibaLand.

Crowds of people were cordoned off, red carpets rolled through the large halls. Kaiba led Atem and Yugi to Mokuba, who was already standing where they were to greet press and VIPs. Atem watched as Kaiba led the way, noticing that he had donned one of his trademark jackets, with an ample, impossibly weightless train.

When the crowds noticed Kaiba's appearance, they erupted into a roar of approval. Atem thought back to the first time he saw Kaiba in front of a crowd like this. Then, Kaiba had been his enemy, but even then he wove a spell over the crowd. The smile he gave them then was only a plastic front … and yet Yugi could see right through to the good in him.

For a moment Atem felt unaccountably sad.

The cluster stood for a good while greeting executives from other companies—gaming, electronics, media, retail … it was really too much for Atem to keep track of, but Kaiba seemed to know many of the executives by name—and various VIPs—from famous duelists to celebrities, many of them dueling hobbyists. After the greetings, Kaiba selected a few VIPs and asked them if they would like a personal tour with himself and Atem. Out of the corner of his eye, Atem noticed that Mokuba was doing the same with Yugi.

Atem supposed this was probably on the publicity run-down, but he hadn't paid sufficient attention to the details. Mentally cursing himself in ancient Egyptian for not properly preparing himself, he put on his best Pharaoh-showing-off-the-kingdom smile and glued himself by Kaiba's side.

Kaiba said something about “Why don't I show you some of the improvements at KaibaLand before we get to the main announcement?” Atem was thinking that Kaiba was being quite canny. The announcement wasn't going to take that long, and although Kaiba had engineered it to be quite splashy, it was a bit bite-sized all by itself. But Kaiba had also made some large improvements to KaibaLand recently.

Atem let Kaiba get a little ahead of him so he could see him a little better. He had his audience completely enthralled. It was so easy for him, Atem thought. Kaiba's voice was a deep, melodic baritone, and when he spoke about his creations, it took on an aspect of loving pride that was enthralling. Moreover, he moved with both power and grace, his coattails floating out behind his slender form like a dream.

A lot of the KaibaLand improvements Atem knew about, but he was surprised to find that he wasn't aware of all of them. As Kaiba enthused about his improvements and indicated future plans for just this location, Atem couldn't help but feel a certain pride wash over him that he knew Kaiba and could finally call him his friend. And now Kaiba was willing to trust him in business as they neared the announcement of the product they'd partnered on.

“… And I think you'll agree that I've saved the best for last,” Kaiba said, walking toward a large curtain.

“Wait, wasn't that a wall last week?” asked Atem.

“A temporary one,” said Kaiba with a smile. “Atem, if you'll come this way …”

Kaiba's smile was warm and honest and, in that moment, he looked straight at Atem, a spark seemingly shining deep within that dark, shadowy blue like the first star shimmering in the dusk. Kaiba gestured with his right hand and the curtains pulled aside. The smile widened just a little and Kaiba put a hand—ever so lightly—behind Atem's shoulder to steer him into the room.

Atem forced himself to look away from Kaiba, but the hand touching his back was oddly distracting. Its warmth seemed to be radiating throughout Atem's body. At last, Atem registered the contents of the room. It was …

“I thought it was time that I built something around an Egyptian theme.” Atem became even more disoriented as he realized that Kaiba's voice was very quiet and very near. In fact, he could, very faintly, feel Kaiba's breath ghost against the shell of his ear. “People are still interested in the God cards. Whether they are in circulation or not, they are still legendary. Atem, do you like it? … Atem? … _Atem!_ ”

Atem was trying to say that he liked it very much indeed. In fact, it was magnificent. The designs were perfect. Kaiba had managed to create an ambiance that evoked ancient Egypt with neither nostalgia nor cheese. Replicas of the three gods towered magnificently before them. But Kaiba had neglected to remove his hand and somehow the warmth that emanated from it had somehow spread to Atem's head and transformed into a dizzying firestorm.

He turned toward his companion and saw only bottomless sapphire eyes filled with concern. Atem reached out for the owner of those eyes. “Se—Se-t—?”

Then blackness.

 

**Chapter notes:**

_the prospect of a business meeting_ : In Kaiba's element, so to speak.

_squeaking engagements_ : Judging from Yugi's ease (or lack thereof) at the KC Grand Prix.

_the first time he saw Kaiba in front of a crowd like this_ : Death-T.

Here is a little piece of fan-art that Sanis-chan created after reading this chapter over at Fanfiction.net:

Thank you, Sanis-chan!

… And thus beginneth the angst & romanc-y goodness … ;)


	10. Where Souls Meet

Atem found himself trying to peer through a swirling fog. _This is_ … he thought, _Is this a shadow game? But I don't remember starting to play_ …

He felt for his card holster and found that not only was the holster missing, he was wearing ancient Egyptian clothing. _This must be a dream_ , he thought.

Squinting through the murk, he perceived a glow ahead and began to make his way toward it.

As he approached the glow, it seemed to approach him. Whatever it was, it was large—very large … like, well, like …

dragon large.

Finally, the glow came near enough to pierce the fog with its light and the form of a blue eyes white dragon appeared. Atem remembered how Akhenaden had used Set to summon the blue eyed dragon against him and couldn't help but feel a small thrill of fear creep up his spine.

As if comprehending Atem's emotion, the dragon came forward menacingly, allowing Atem to see its full magnificence and detail. Its armored body was pure, luminescent white. Its eyes the very same dark blue as Kaiba Seto's, but here, more alien, birdlike. He couldn't seem to help himself but reach out to touch its snout, his fingers tingling strangely at contact. At his touch, it bared gigantic teeth in his face, then reared up, gathering a huge, blinding ball of lightning in its mouth. Atem reminded himself that it was a dream and prepared himself for the inevitable burst stream.

But the devastating stream of energy never burst forth. Instead, the creature slowly closed its mouth.

Very slowly, as though in slow motion, it turned and began walking away, simultaneously transforming into the shape of a man. Gradually, very gradually, the bulk reduced, the limbs became proportionately longer, the tail disappeared. The white armor became porcelain skin and a long, opalescent white coat. It was, in fact, the image of Kaiba Seto moving away from him into the mist, in a costume not unlike his Battle City garb, only it was entirely in white, down to his boots.

Atem looked after him, slightly confused. _Kisara is the dragon_ , he thought. Her very soul was stolen and forced into the world of duel monsters where it could never be united with Set's soul. But this is a dream and the dragon, its bearing, the paleness, its eyes, its power, everything about it, reminded him of the person with whom it was so strongly associated … _today_ , he realized. For Kaiba Seto has the pale, alabaster skin of the man he saw, but Set had bronze skin … like his own. Or was it that he believed that Kisara had become so much part of Set that their souls had actually combined in some strange ancient alchemy?

 _Kaiba_ …

Suddenly, he felt a pressing need to speak to the dragon of a man, and he ran into the mist after him, but soon found himself lost in the darkness, looking for a white glow and calling Kaiba's name. After some time he caught a glimmer in the distance and ran toward it.

As the figure became distinct, he realized he was on a city street. The glimmer that he'd seen was the sheen from an amazing fall of pure white hair that cascaded down a young woman's back to below her waist. As he caught up with her, he realized it had to be Kisara. It could be no other, even though she was dressed in flowing pale blue silk of a modern dress that matched her eyes. She didn't seem able to see him as she entered an office building.

He followed, curious, wondering why she would enter his dream. It must have been his thoughts about the dragon and its earlier transformation. The lobby was dark, but she didn't seem to notice and walked straight to an elevator. Only then did Atem notice that her feet were bare. Before he could catch up, she'd already entered and the doors had closed. He could only wait to see at which floor the elevator stopped.

He waited interminably until the numbers stopped changing and the display showed R for roof. At last. He jumped into another elevator and followed. The doors opened.

And he stepped out onto the top of the wind-swept duel tower of Alcatraz.

_Huh?_

He looked around, and then he saw them. He was bent over Kisara, leaning against the rail in a tight embrace, kissing her passionately. Kaiba Seto. Definitely not Set. But did it matter? They shared the same soul. The soul of his friend, returned across 3000 years to …

to help save him.

It was true, wasn't it? As much as Kaiba always refused to acknowledge it, his soul had a reason for returning to this place, at this time … to find an old soul once again …

And here Atem was, in his dream, in his mind's eye, watching Set/Seto kiss this woman, one hand beginning to move slowly down her side, gently yet intimately caressing her. He never was able to consummate his love in his former life, Atem thought. It was unbearably tragic. He needed to leave them but he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away. The sight was too exciting, even—dare he admit it?—arousing. But he had a growing awareness of another feeling just as strong.

Jealousy.

_Jealousy?_

He continued to watch, aroused and aching, but glad that they were progressing slowly, apparently content to continue kissing, teasing themselves. _Why should I be jealous?_ Atem asked himself … _or conjure up such images to torture myself?_ But he knew one thing for certain. He had no interest in Kisara. The reason for both his growing excitement and discontent was Kaiba Seto.

But Kaiba Seto embodied the soul of his priest Set, didn't he? His cousin, in fact. He didn't remember harboring any romantic feelings for Set … but his life had been cut short and his memory was fragmentary.

Yet, here, eons later, he and Kaiba kept clashing, over and over. Kaiba was so driven and had so much to resolve, and Atem was drawn into his struggle, just as Kaiba was drawn, inexorably, into Atem's struggle, like it or not. Whether Kaiba recognized it or not, he was part of the ancient past that Atem had been forced to deal with. Was Kaiba part of the future that Atem was now seeking? Right now, all he knew was that their old rivalry and the new friendship that they had forged, everything that they had gone through and every vague promise that now beckoned had somehow bound them inextricably together.

Was he in love with Kaiba Seto? He realized he was, that there had been … _something_ … between them for some time, and now that Seto had come into his own, had begun to fulfill his potential, he could no longer ignore his feelings.

Meanwhile, Set had found true love, no matter how tragic.

How could he compete with a love story like that? The girl had sacrificed everything she was for him and still stood by his side even now though they could never truly be together.

Seto pressed even closer to Kisara, his passion obvious, and Atem backed up, reaching for the elevator, but found that it had somehow disappeared, leaving only the railing opposite. But as he pressed his back into it, still finding himself unable to look away, the sky darkened and the wind picked up.

As though someone had played a Polymerization card, the couple before him suddenly swirled and blended together in a dizzying maelstrom. For a moment, there seemed to be a white dragon in the mix, but when the vision settled, there was only Kaiba Seto, staring at his empty hands in shock. He reached out and gripped the railing, seemingly overcome with emotion, his knuckles white.

Then Kaiba began to climb until he stood, precariously, atop the railing. _How can he do that without falling?_ Atem thought, and, not knowing exactly what he was saying, he screamed for Kaiba to get down as he sprinted toward him in the excruciating slow motion of dreams.

Finally, it seemed that Kaiba had heard him and he turned slowly. Again, Atem wondered how he could do that, but reminded himself that it was a dream. The moment Kaiba completed the turn, Atem experienced an intense bout of vertigo. When at last his vision cleared, his heart sank.

They were standing atop Pegasus' castle and Kaiba was standing at the edge of a huge vertical drop behind the melting form of his Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon. He was drawing his thumb across his neck, daring Atem to attack.

 _I don't have to do this!_ Atem thought, relieved, but he heard his own voice announce, “Attack!”

In the split second that ensued, his confusion and panic turned into realization that this already happened. Yugi would save them. But the next split second passed and the Celtic Guardian continued his rush.

 _Why doesn't Yugi stop us?! No! No, I won't, I won't witness this! It's a dream!_ He forced his eyes closed and the scene turned black.

He opened his eyes, breathing deeply. It was dark. _Thank the gods._ The castle was gone.

He looked down to find that he was holding a sword … he was dressed in green, as Celtic Guardian.

_No!_

_Will this never end?_

As if in answer, his opponent appeared opposite him, only it wasn't the Ultimate Dragon, it was Kaiba, stoic and ready, dressed as he had been during Duelists' Kingdom.

He felt rather than heard the attack command and felt his body begin to obey. He attempted to resist, but his body seemed to belong to someone else. He couldn't even close his eyes, but had to watch himself run to destroy Kaiba Seto. He gripped his sword securely, swiftly and surely swinging it around in an underhand stroke upward through Kaiba's abdomen.

“Seto …” he whispered, almost inaudibly, as their bodies met.

Kaiba fell forward, fatally injured, into Atem's arms, his expression remote and unreadable. He coughed, blood spurting between his lips.

Atem tried to remind himself that it wasn't real, it was a dream, but it was all too visceral. Atem could feel the weight of him, smell his blood, hear his last ragged breaths echoing through the darkness. The sense that this was his last chance swiftly consumed his entire being. He leaned forward, tears streaming down his cheeks, and kissed Seto passionately yet tenderly, ignoring the blood that began to fill his mouth.

At last, he could close his eyes. He buckled under Seto's weight, attempting to adjust the embrace, yet somehow Seto seemed to slip out of of his arms and away into the darkness.

Atem panicked, forcing his eyes open, and found himself clutching his empty jacket fiercely and staring into the concerned eyes of his aibou.

“Was it that dream again?” asked Yugi.

Atem started to nod, and tried to speak, but found himself gagging on the tang of metal and salt. Overcome by the taste and a twisting knot in his gut, he sat bolt upright and managed to choke out, “Bathroom!”

Yugi pointed to a door that was, fortunately, not far down the hall. Atem ran for it and barely made it into a stall before his stomach rebelled.

Finally, he lifted his head, gasping and vaguely thinking to himself that he was glad Kaiba had a well-trained custodial staff, given that he was here in such an awkward position on that remarkably cleanly restroom floor. But his ruminations were unceremoniously interrupted by a few final retches. He scowled at himself as he rose.

Surely he could be more dignified, he thought as he washed up.

When he returned to where they'd been sitting, Yugi's expression didn't do much to ease Atem's mood. “Do you want to talk about it?” Yugi asked.

Atem noticed Mokuba quickly approaching out of the corner of his eye and said, softly, “Yes, but not here.”

“Obviously.”

Mokuba had arrived wearing his own concerned expression. “Are you OK? What happened? Seto really wants to have the medic take a look. You know he has a good one on staff. Or if you want to call someone …”

“Honestly, I'm fine. I think … I just went too long without eating, that's all.” Well, his stomach was certainly empty enough now, he thought ruefully.

Mokuba didn't look very satisfied, but let it go. “OK, I'll tell Seto what you said, but you take better care of yourself. I had to assure him I'd make sure you were taken care of so that he didn't—”

“No, no, not at all. I'll be fine.”

“And the attraction? Seto wanted to surprise you with it and now he's afraid you—”

“Oh, Mokuba, it's magnificent. Tell him this-this doesn't have anything to do with that. It's just … just coincidental.”

“Good. Good, because he was especially hoping that you'd like it. I think he designed it with—”

“The announcement!” Atem slammed a palm to his forehead. “Yugi, you should have covered that for me.”

“And leave you by yourself?”

“Jounouchi, or …”

“They're having so much fun, and I'd be too worried about you anyway,” Yugi said evenly. “Hey, it's like I'm your brother now. Mokuba, is it OK if we sneak out? Kaiba won't mind?”

“No, we're doing fine. We'll have to reschedule some interviews, but we had some follow-up events planned anyway, so … Get out of here and eat something. Frankly, you don't look too well, Atem.”

**Chapter notes ...**

_Huh?_ : I hope this is **not** _your_ reaction to this chapter.

I know there are a lot of parts to the dream, but I actually had a reason for putting them all in—believe it or not!

Kisara: I note from reading some fics that she seems to be a divisive character, but since I'm sticking close to canon, she absolutely must be dealt with. I hope that nobody's going, _Way too much of_ her _in this chapter!_ She is pivotal to Set and part of great tragic arc, but she's little more than a cipher, which is really too bad! Further, her relationship with Set and its unfortunate outcome frustrates further romantic possibilities, even for Seto. So I have my work cut out for me writing my way around this! We'll see how well I do.

_Set had bronze skin … like his own_ : (I think this is the first place Atem's skin tone has come up.) Yes, I realize that in the anime, Atem's magical body had the attributes of Yugi's, but, hey, it's a magical body, and I see no reason why it can't come to look like Atem's, if not immediately, then over time. In any case, I like the aesthetic, so I hope you'll indulge me …

Duelists' Kingdom: A seminal moment for both Atem and Seto.


	11. Apprehension

Seto noticed Mokuba enter the auditorium and wrapped up his discussion with the current group of VIPs he was chatting with. He then subtly signaled Mokuba and discretely headed toward the offices, avoiding further entanglements.

Arriving in the manager's office slightly after Mokuba, he asked, “So, what did the medic have to say about Atem's condition?”

“Well … er … the medic didn't examine him—Honest, Nii-sama, Atem insisted that he was fine! He said he just forgot to eat and …”

“Don't worry, Mokuba, I know how he is. I'm sure that you were assertive, but he's proud and … I suppose even if there were anything really wrong with him, he wouldn't want me to know about it anyway.” Seto looked off vaguely in the direction of the entrance as though calculating the probabilities.

“Yugi was with him. If something's wrong, I'm sure he'll insist that Atem see a doctor.”

“Yes … his friends …” _How annoying!_ “Does he still trust them so much more?” Seto muttered low, beneath his breath.

“Nii-sama?”

“It's nothing important. I just …” He looked at his brother. “We've spent so much time consulting, talking about inconsequential things. I suppose I just thought maybe Atem would feel a little more comfortable with me after all this time, that's all.”

“I think he does. He always seems glad to see you when he comes into the offices, Nii-sama. I think he really looks forward to the consulting.”

“… because of the projects.”

“Yes, but are you sure it isn't partly because he's working with you?”

“Don't be sentimental, Mokuba. He's probably looking forward to the generous paycheck.”

“Nii-sama!”

“Speaking of, we've been away from our guests too long.”

* * *

Atem didn't want to go their apartment, but he didn't want to be overheard. It was some time before Yugi found a place that Atem felt comfortable speaking freely in. They found themselves walking along a windy strand with few passersby. Still, they walked closely together, like co-conspirators, speaking in hushed tones.

“You dreamed about Duelists' Kingdom again,” Yugi said.

“Yes, only more … much more. I …” There was so much to say. He wished for a moment that they still shared their link and he wouldn't have to say anything at all. Then he was glad that it was gone and Yugi couldn't feel the pain … or see his most intimate feelings.

But Yugi said gently, “I know, Atem. You've realized how you feel about him, haven't you?”

“'Him'?”

“Kaiba, of course.”

Atem looked at Yugi, surprised.

“I've known for a long time, Atem.”

“But …”

“I know, this is news to you, but remember, while you've been struggling, I've suffered along with you. Only I had the leisure to examine your emotions while you had to act on them … and have them act on you.”

“What? Are you saying … ?”

“Yes, you've felt this way for a long time, Atem. Beginning with Duelists' Kingdom, if not even earlier. But Battle City …”

“Why didn't you say anything?” Atem felt more and more agitated. Had this really been going on so long? Had he really not known his own mind? They were approaching a bench and he sat there, rubbing his temples.

Yugi joined him. “Don't you think this is really the sort of thing that someone should find out on his own? I mean, do you really want me telling you that you're in love?”

“Well, no, actually.”

“S-so, you said there was more this time.”

“Yes, it wasn't just Duelists' Kingdom.” Atem related as much of the strange, morphing dream as he could possibly remember.

“Hm, that's pretty deep, but Kaiba, the dream … how do you feel about it?” Yugi asked anxiously. “It seemed to hit you pretty hard.”

“Frankly, I'm not sure _how_ to feel about it.” He scowled out at the waves. “I'm so used to seeing him as my rival … and, just recently, I thought we could finally be … friends. And now? Now he's … what, some sort of goal? He's not fighting with me over a prize, he _is_ the prize. It … it's frightening.”

“Why, because he can so easily withhold your so-called 'prize'?”

Was that it? Was it so simple? “I … he … but he's not a prize to be won and this isn't a contest … is it?”

“Is it? How do you see it? You're the King of Games, Atem.”

“I think it's you who's been granted that title.”

“Only because of your actions, remember?”

“All this is beside the point …” Atem rubbed his head. It was throbbing. “I can't begin to imagine treating Se—Kaiba like a … an object.”

Yugi smiled warmly in return. “It's all right, Atem. Shouldn't you call him by his name by now, considering how you feel about him? You seem … a little concerned by this attraction.”

“I … I just don't understand …”

“Why you didn't see it?” Atem didn't even have to answer. “Remember, you didn't have a body. Most of the time you were with him, you were dueling him, or trying to get his help because our friends were in trouble. Or there was some other emergency going on. And even if you had the luxury of paying attention to him, you wouldn't have let yourself because you couldn't do anything about it.”

Atem stared at Yugi. He was absolutely right. If he had allowed himself to think about Seto beyond the superficial terms of the needs of the moment, if he'd traveled along the lines of possibilities and plumbed the depths of his feelings, he would have …

He would have discovered that he had no recourse. No way of expressing his feelings.

“I would never—”

“You'd never betray my trust, Atem.”

“And Seto …”

 _What had happened after the duel in Egypt, anyway?_ Atem didn't remember seeing Seto afterward at all.

Yugi, as usual, caught his thought. “I don't know, Atem. He left right after our duel. I don't know why. You'll have to ask him if you want to know.”

The experience of regaining his body had been so overwhelming. He'd seemed to have a body in the world of memories, but that was somehow different. He'd been alone in Yugi's body for an extended period when they had battled Dartz, but that had been such a traumatic experience that he hadn't been able to focus on the mere sensation of having a body. Further, there was the problem that the body he inhabited was screaming for its missing soul. Added to his own shattering sensations of grief and guilt … well, he had only so much attention to spare for Seto, and that didn't include the luxury of lusting after him. He primarily required his help then.

Strange how he so often thought of his chief rival first when he needed assistance.

Now, thinking of him … had he really felt this all along? “It doesn't make any sense,” he muttered. “How could I possibly not notice this?”

“You imagined it was the excitement of dueling him, Atem. Did it feel the same to duel me?”

Atem stared at Yugi. “Actually, no.”

“So …?”

“Well, I didn't expect to feel this way—regardless of what you say about how long it's already lasted—Seto and I didn't exactly get off on the right foot …” he trailed off, thinking back.

“Well, sure, I mean, what he did to Grandpa wasn't nice, but … we know now there was a reason behind every bad or dishonorable thing that he did. And … after what his adoptive father did to him …”

“You're so forgiving, Yugi … even back then you had faith in him. You wanted to duel him as a friend.”

“And I _still_ haven't had that duel. It's your fault, you know.” Yugi twisted his foot in the sand bashfully. “You know … I always thought … for a death trap, Death-T was … kind of …” He paused for a second as though considering whether he wanted say more. “It was like all the lead-up puzzles and games of Death-T … I'm just trying to say that he was sort of forcing us to prove ourselves worthy of dueling him, and, at the same time, he was showing us his worth as a gamer because he created all that. All of the puzzles were solvable, and he didn't try to cheat his way to victory. It was all so dark and twisted … but … consider everything he'd gone through: he had no concept of how to break through his loneliness in anything approaching a normal way. He deserved to be punished, but …”

“You still think the Mind Crush was harsh?”

“You didn't understand his pain.”

Atem gave Yugi a rueful smile. “And you always give people the benefit of the doubt. Especially Seto. Remember when he arrived in Duelists' Kingdom?”

“When he arrived in the helicopter, before he was so cruel to Jounouchi?”

“You handed him his deck. You were so … bashful about it, too. It was like you were going to—”

… _ask him for a date or something._

Atem stared at Yugi, his eyes widening. He could feel his cheeks burning.

“That always bothered you, too.” Yugi rubbed the back of his head, smiling with embarrassment. “Now you know why. Sorry, but I _really_ wanted to make friends with him. Sometimes you get tired of winning all the time. Well, maybe _you_ don't … but _I_ do.”

“I get it, Yugi, I do, but back then, Seto was—”

“OK, Atem, think about it. I didn't know Kaiba well, but I knew a little about him, from school. What did you know about him? Really?”

“What I knew was … it was …”

“Limited to some pretty traumatic incidents, right?”

“Well, back then, I came out when you were in trouble or when you had a duel … and … wait, if you _knew_ , why did you have me date Anzu?”

“Heh heh,” Yugi laughed nervously, his hand moving to the back of his head. “I was kind of hoping she'd take the hint, actually. But even if neither of you did, I knew you weren't interested. Besides, she got me into too much trouble early on trying to force you out.”

That was true enough. Atem had thought she was irresponsible and he'd hated the way she'd taken chances with Yugi's safety. Her positive qualities and the fact that Yugi loved her so much made him forgive her, but he'd always felt that she'd been selfish and reckless about that.

He stared at his aibou. It hadn't occurred to him that Yugi was quite so manipulative. “I do like Anzu … but …”

“You're not angry, are you?”

“No, she actually helped me then. But, still … I could have done without Mai's insinuations.”

“What …?”

“Oh, yes, you weren't listening in. We bumped into Mai right before Seto's Battle City announcement. She decided we were an item.”

“Which means she decided Anzu and I were an item. Not a problem.”

Atem sighed. “Things are a lot simpler now. I'm glad I don't have to date your girlfriends anymore. At least you never had to date Seto.”

“Like you'd let me,” Yugi said watching Atem's face as that sunk in.

“Otogi?” Atem suddenly blurted out.

“I never dated Otogi.”

“No!” Atem said irritably. “You begged off that meeting with Seto recently saying you had to meet with Otogi. Were you just …?”

“Well, wasn't it just about time you figured out how you felt? I thought, the more time you had with him, the better, right?” Yugi shrugged off Atem's annoyed glances and said, “But, seriously, what are you going to do?”

Atem's face grew somber. He looked at Yugi as though he never expected to hear such an obvious question. “I don't know. If it were anyone else, I'd just ask him out, but … There's so much between us. I just … I don't know. For one thing, I have no idea what his orientation is. I guess there's those escorts that he takes to publicity events, but it's not like he really dates.”

“OK. Pretend you just met him for the first time. Immediate attraction. What do you do?”

“I'd ask him out, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I'd ask him out.”

“Oh really. Since when do you ask anyone out? I think you make yourself irresistible and wait for them to come to you. It's like dueling. You almost never challenge anyone to a duel unless you need to because of something _they've_ done—which is basically the same thing as them challenging you.”

Atem blushed. It was true that he hadn't really asked anyone out since he had received a body, and he hadn't really needed to. He'd had offers in droves by women and men alike. But … how interested had he been, really? He'd accepted a few offers, and he'd even accepted a second date or two, but …

It hadn't been what he'd been looking for.

He'd been waiting for an arrogant, cold fish CEO?

Atem sighed. It was extremely unlikely that he could ever make himself so irresistible that this man would ever ask him out without any kind of prompting. “I don't think that will work,” he said.

And there were other issues that were preying on his mind. For example …

“And … what about Kisara?”

“What about her? It's not like she can compete with you.”

“That's the problem. Her soul is trapped in the realm of duel monsters and yet, she was so … _important_ to him—to Set, anyway. She still is important to him, whether he realizes it or not. The drive he had to possess all those dragon cards … Thank Ra they were a limited edition …” Atem trailed off, unable to stop himself from thinking back to all the trouble that had stemmed from the fact that Yugi's grandpa had owned one of the four Blue Eyes White Dragon cards that had been produced. Seto's obsession with them …

_You didn't understand his pain …_

_But, then, neither did he. He still refuses to comprehend it._

“If she were human, I could fight somehow, but the way it is … what can I do? He's stuck in some sort of irreconcilable limbo as far as she's concerned.”

“But … in your dream, it's like she made herself part of him. What if it's not even an issue? It's not like he can have a relationship with a Duel Monsters card, you know.”

“I know, but …” These suggestions weren't making him feel any better. “This still doesn't tell me how he feels. Or whether—whether the reason he never seems to be interested in anyone isn't because this … event … from his past life didn't somehow freeze him—prevent him from doing anything now.”

“So you're saying …”

“I'm saying that I'm worried that he still feels such grief and pain from his previous life that he'll never allow himself to enter into any kind of relationship, let alone work to build a successful one.”

“Wow, way to look on the bright side, Atem.”

“Have you seen any reports that he's even tried dating? He's in his twenties now.”

“And you really haven't dated seriously since you returned from Egypt. What's your excuse?”

“I haven't met anyone worth serious attention.”

“I rest my case. Find out, Atem. You have the perfect opportunity now. You're friends, right?”

“Friends. Right.”

As they walked back to their apartment, Atem thought it over. Why did he feel so uncharacteristically hesitant?

 _Perfect_.

**Chapter notes ...**

Reposting a response to comments: _[Dream sequences] gives the characters the ability to work things out in their minds without all that annoying inner monologue crap—_ Guess you should avoid _Satisfaction_ (my other story), then! (laughs nervously) I can't promise that this story will avoid inner monologue entirely, but the fact that both Seto and Atem have confidants (Mokuba and Yugi, respectively), keeps it at a minimum. In my previous story, both protagonists tended to keep things entirely to themselves, particularly Jack, which tends to make that sort of thing almost unavoidable. [Note: _Satisfaction_ , my first 5D's story, will be moved to AO3 at a later date.]

_Death-T_ : Is it just me, or is there a subtext along the lines of a twisted gamer's love letter? “Hello, I went to huge expense to show you how good I am at creating games and puzzles, and I made this just for you! Show me how good _you_ are, and we'll play a game together!” No wonder Yugi has a soft spot for the villain ... OK, maybe it _is_ just me.

New note: I wrote a story connected to Death-T, _Crush_ , which was poorly received. So much for that … (But it wasn't a romance, either.) I may or may not port that one over.

_when [Seto] arrived in Duelists' Kingdom_ : Again, maybe it's just me, but I get a “subtexty” feeling whenever I get to this moment, even (or is that especially?) in the manga.

_[Anzu] got [Yugi] into too much trouble early on_ : I'm particularly thinking of the bomber at the amusement park (manga).


	12. I Wanted to Get You Smiling …

Atem pressed his back into the boulder, hugging the gun barrel up against his chest. He glanced sideways at Seto, who stood next to him in a similar pose. “Run to the next location. I'll cover you,” he said.

Atem looked around. “I don't see—” Then he saw it. A cleverly concealed notch along the cliff face formed by the back of a building housing one of the enclosed rides. “Got you,” he said. “One, two, _three!_ ”

He ran as Seto laid down a dizzying flurry of red paint splatter.

Atem checked out the niche. It was basically a narrow crevice in between the cliff face and a large boulder that had broken away. It was barely large enough for him to take cover in. How was Seto going to fit in there with him?

He looked back at Seto as he took his position. He had been amused that Seto had a tailored version of the camouflage fatigues KaibaLand provided for guests, and yet they enhanced his figure in an entirely new way, tucked into army-style boots, cinched at his narrow waist, his head secured in camouflage helmet and goggles. And, of course, the game collar around his long, slender neck.

The change in clothing—and especially, for some odd reason, that collar—only served to remind Atem how attractive Seto was. And after his recent revelation, he didn't require the additional reminders. He had always known that he had a type and that Seto personified that type, but in the past he had always managed to shrug it off, telling himself that it was primarily a physical attraction and that Seto's negative qualities were more than enough to make up for it. But now …

He took an appreciative look and then called, “Come on, then!” Then he laid down his own paint ball barrage as Seto made for the niche in a few sprinting steps. Luckily, what he gave in size, he made up for in speed.

With the two of them in there, it was an extremely tight fit, but it was nearly the only cover in the open area.

“You knew about this,” Atem pointed out.

“I let you see it for yourself. I didn't lead you here.” Kaiba picked off Mai from Yugi's team without trouble.

“Damn it, Kaiba! I'm out!” she cried and dropped on the spot. The LED lights on her game collar started blinking red, controlled by the unseen KaibaLand referee.

Atem began to notice a slight problem with this location. Its tightness forced him into physical contact with Seto. His entire side was wedged in against Seto's. And while that was something that felt awfully good, he had no idea what opinion his companion might have of any possible reaction he might experience, and … it certainly distracted his attention from the game at hand.

Atem forced his attention back to the game, but he was aware of a growing warmth within his body. “Shouldn't we be moving to the next location?” he prompted.

“Why? The object is to eliminate the other team before we're eliminated, and we're in a great position to hold out. Our teammates can chase opponents down for us easily while they have to come to us. In the unlikely event that it turns into a standoff, we're still in the dominant position. You should know that, Atem.”

“Right.” It was obvious enough, but being crammed in was a growing problem. “Still, they can bomb us from above,” he pointed out.

Seto brought his laser-like gaze to bear on him for a moment before returning it to the field. “Honestly, Atem, it's not like you to get so antsy, particularly during a game. I would think that the lack of space would be more an issue for me.” He shrugged. “At any rate, this overhang makes it difficult to get place the ball right in the pocket.”

“You'd think so …”

Seto looked like he was going to follow up that observation, but they heard a cry from Bakura. “Watch out! Incoming!”

_Splat!_

“Ah, as I expected, Yugi caught on quickly. But if they think they've got us, they're sadly mistaken. They've forgotten there's two of us!” Seto asserted. Without warning, he pushed Atem down and covered him with his own body. “I hope your friend is less of a marshmallow than he looks,” he said. “It's rather difficult to shoot from this position.”

“Bakura? He's all right.” It had been difficult enough with Seto pressed against his side. Now he was wedged deep within the crevice, practically on his knees, with Seto all but lying on top of him. Atem craned his neck to find Seto's chin hanging over his head.

_This is_ not _helping!_ Atem thought.

Paint balls, which had been launched into the air like ballistic missiles, began to strike around them, yellow splatter dancing like so much shrapnel.

“Can your friend get to them before they dial this in or pick him off?”

But Atem wasn't thinking about that. He was desperately trying not to think about the warmth and weight pressing against him.

“Close!” It was Jounouchi. “I'm gonna bag me a billionaire!” he yelled jubilantly. “Oof! Aw, nuts! Deadman.”

“Got you!” Mokuba's light, happy voice floated across to them.

“Thank god,” came a murmur just above Atem's head.

Atem couldn't help laughing. “Seto …” he said, “Admit it. You're having fun.”

“Crammed against a rock face with you, threatened by morons?” Seto said sarcastically. “What could be more fun than that?”

“You will not go unavenged!” the voice of Honda drifted over the field.

“Actually, I'm more concerned about _his_ shooting ability,” said Atem.

“If I'm to be hit, I'd rather it not be by the idiot.”

“Be nice.”

Atem had abruptly begun using Seto's given name, yet if he had noticed, Seto showed no sign of it. Atem was slightly relieved that he didn't have to explain, but thought it odd that Seto let it slide like that. Maybe he didn't want to make an issue of it. Whatever Seto's reasons, Atem simply couldn't continue to call the man _Kaiba_ after … after that dream. But telling him about the dream would be …

_Splat!_

“That was close to your head.”

“I noticed. Don't worry. I have you covered.”

“You're heavy.”

“I don't have to be entirely dead weight even if I'm technically dead.”

“Bakura, would you get Honda for us?” Atem called out.

“ _Trying!_ Damn! I'm out. Yugi …”

“Sorry, Bakura.”

“There are no apologies in paint ball!” It was Seto.

“You're the vulnerable one. Why goad them?”

“I shouldn't be confident? We're obviously going to win.”

“You think so? Yugi's a good player.”

“We have you and me.”

“Good point.”

Spla-spla-spla- _Splat!_

“OK, I'm dead. _Out!_ ” Seto slumped a little and became a little bit heavier against him. Atem could see a little of the glow from the flashing lights of his collar. “I'm not giving you too much of my weight, am I?”

“No, but I might have to adjust you a little, I hope you don't mind.”

“I'm dead. What do I have to say about it?”

“I'm glad you're enjoying this so much.”

“And you're not?”

_Oh, more than you know, Seto …_

“What happened over there?” Called Yugi, apparently noting the quiet conversation.

“Your teammate killed my comrade,” griped Atem. “Just try and get me.”

“Now I'm _mad!_ ” Mokuba's mock-serious voice floated across to them.

“ _Ack!_ I'm out.”

“Ha ha, Honda! That'll teach you to mess with my brother! … Aw, crap. Sorry, Nii-sama. I'm out, too.”

“Looks like it's just you and your other self now,” said Seto.

“You're awfully talkative for a dead man.”

“Now you know how I felt.”

“Get out here, Atem,” Yugi called.

“I think I'll let you dig me out if you want me.”

“What? I don't think I can even lift him.”

“I'm not that heavy,” complained Seto. “Why is everyone saying I'm heavy? I'm very light for my height. Mokuba keeps telling me I'm too thin.”

“You shouldn't even know what I'm saying.”

“Whatever. I'm only pretending that I'm dead.”

“Unfortunately, there's a rule against shooting point-blank,” Yugi noted.

“I wouldn't say it's unfortunate,” said Atem. He didn't relish the thought of Yugi slipping the barrel under Seto to blast him. “That would be pretty unsporting after my brother-in-arms gave his life to protect me.”

“Brother, eh? Is _that_ —” Yugi began, but Atem wasn't about to let him finish his saucy quip. He suddenly threw Seto off his back and shot Yugi full in the chest without warning.

“Game over.” Atem calmly climbed over and tapped his nonplussed aibou on the chest right at the point of impact.

“Well done,” smiled Seto. “I'm glad to be alive again.”

“I'm glad you are too,” said Atem.

* * *

As they walked from the field, Atem hurried to keep step with Seto. “Are you going to attend the feedback session?” he asked.

“Not this time. I've already got a lot of the information I need.” He stopped for a moment and looked back at the field. “I need to tweak the layout. I'm sure you noticed.”

“Yes, I think that our shelter needs to be a little less impregnable.”

“Exactly. I think I'll make it a grouping of boulders, more in the middle of the open space.”

“Seto—”

“Is there something else? You can bring it up at the focus group. I have—”

“No, Seto, it's …” How could he say what he needed to say now, with Seto running off? “I'm glad you were able to play today,” he said, feeling a little lame. “It was … fun.”

Did Atem detect the barest touch of pink on Seto's cheeks? “Hn,” he said. He began to walk toward the exit where his limo waited, then turned. “Are you feeling all right, Atem?” he asked. “No ill effects from the other day?”

It was Atem's turn to blush slightly. “I'm fine, Seto.” _Was … was that about his comment? That it was fun? Surely not_.

Just then Mokuba called to him, reminding him to hurry up and change. He hustled off, bidding Seto a hasty farewell.

**Chapter notes ...**

Title: It's a quote from a song. Extra points if you recognize it!

Paint ball: I have taken dramatic license with the rules. And, hey, Kaiba can adjust them as he pleases, so ... Hope that doesn't offend!

Reposted response to comments: Writing Seto in a positive light: As I say, I'm basing this primarily on the Japanese anime, and, frankly, I think he _is_ presented that way in the orignal. Seto evolves as a character, gradually moving from the darkness into the light. Not that he doesn't have plenty of issues, mind you! But still. I have no problem with those who want to write Seto from the 4Kids version, but that is a decidedly different person. As for his serenity, well, more about that later …!


	13. Probing and Plotting

Atem sat before Yugi's computer, bleary-eyed.

“Huh,” observed Yugi, passing by on his way to the kitchenette. “Your eyes are redder than usual. That's not a game. What are you up to?”

“Research on the Internet.”

“Research? Internet? That's not your thing. Do you want my help?”

“No.”

Yugi continued toward the kitchenette, then suddenly stopped halfway across the living area. “Wait a minute,” he said, then turned back around. Atem hated using the computer for anything but gaming. He quietly crept up behind Atem and looked over his shoulder. “So exactly what do you want to find out about Kaiba?”

Atem sighed. “If you absolutely _must_ know, I'm trying to figure out if there's a possibility that any advances I might make toward Seto might be welcome.” A bit of copper mixed into the bronze of his cheeks. _Too bad Seto didn't see that_ , Yugi thought. He was straight and even he thought the color was striking, especially with Atem's blond bangs hanging down over them.

“And how's the research going?” asked Yugi.

Another sigh. “Not so well. Seto's not exactly open with the press. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, _we_ don't know his orientation and we know him better than the media does … by far. There's this article in which a supermodel trashes him, saying he must be gay … but that's only because she attended an event with him and he didn't try to take advantage of her.”

Yugi laughed. “She probably put the moves on him and he didn't do anything so she's getting her revenge—or she decided that means he _has_ to be gay. She probably just bored him half to death.”

Atem chuckled. “That's how I see it. And here, this gay publication does a lot of speculating based on various factors but comes to no definite conclusion.”

“Any interesting speculations?”

“A lot of men find him extremely attractive. But the speculations seem completely baseless.”

“I see you found a great picture, though.”

The attractive copper color returned to Atem's cheeks and showed signs of remaining there. “Uh, yes, he takes an excellent picture, doesn't he?”

“Even I'll admit that he's photogenic,” Yugi allowed.

Atem had brought up a large-format black-and-white photo of Seto that had been obviously professionally posed and taken. Somehow the photographer had managed to put Seto at ease—no simple feat—because his expression was relaxed and his face was turned slightly away from the camera. He had an almost dreamy expression in his shadowed eyes and the light reflected in them was soft. Was he thinking about some future pet project? It was a—dared he say it?—almost romantic photo.

“Go ahead and print a copy out,” said Yugi.

“I am _not_ going to print a copy out!”

“At least save a copy.”

Atem's blush deepened. “Uh, I already have.”

“Come on, Atem, I think you've done enough paperwork. You need to get to the lab work.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why don't you just tell him how you feel? Why not ask him straight out which way he swings? If he's going to be that ambiguous, he has to expect questions, doesn't he? The worst that could happen is that he could say he doesn't return your feelings, right?”

“He could say he never wants to see me again. I don't know if I could accept that.”

“Come now, Atem. As much as he respects you, I doubt that would happen.”

“I …”

“It's not like you to hesitate. Don't let your guilt prevent you from acting.”

“Wh-What are you—? You're … Duelists' Kingdom?”

Yugi nodded. “Don't let the past paralyze you.” He smiled. “You know who that sounds like, don't you?”

“Seto?”

“Hand the man a cigar.”

“I don't smoke.”

“Sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar, Atem,” Yugi said, and winked.

* * *

During the next phase of focus testing at KaibaLand, Atem was disappointed to find that Kaiba himself was not present. He looked over to Yugi, who merely shrugged.

_What're you going to do? It happens._

_This is hard enough_ , he thought, _without having to wait for another opportunity_.

However, the laser tag facility was involving enough to distract him from his current obsessions.

“Whatdidyouthink, Atem?” Jounouchi asked in a rush as they exited the facility. “That was totally different from paintball, right?”

“Considering they're both tag/elimination games, it was as different as it could have been,” he allowed.

“It was _totally_ different!” Jounouchi effused.

“Wait, wait!” Mokuba said. “I want to get some of these comments into my report. Do you mind? I've got the room all set up this way.”

The group was led through the back end of a large building. “Isn't this going to be one of your rides, Mokuba?” asked Yugi.

“Yes, but this part is all going to be offices here. We're going to a conference room in the back. As usual, I've ordered in refreshments.”

Just as they were getting settled, there was a tap on the door and Kaiba strode in. “I'm going to borrow Atem for just a moment, Mokuba,” he said.

Atem got up and walked out. Would he be able to seize this moment, he wondered.

“You wanted to talk to me? Is it something about Virtuosity?”

“No, actually, it's about SpellQuest. The roll-out is going relatively well, but I think we need to ramp up the publicity. I'd like to have you and Yugi meet with a select publicity team to plan the next phase.”

“Any time, Seto.”

“Good. I'll have my assistant contact you.” Seto began to turn around as though to leave.

“That's all? You came all the way out here to talk about that?”

“No, I'm meeting with a number of engineers here and monitoring progress at the park. I combine tasks wherever possible, Atem.”

“Why don't you drop by the focus meeting?”

“I don't have time today. Actually, I've participated in the focus groups more than usual. KaibaLand Domino is important to me.”

“I understand.” Atem wracked his brain for a way to extend the conversation and open an opportunity to be alone with Seto. “But, Seto—I hesitate to mention this because it's personal— **”**

“When has that ever stopped you?”

 _Why don't you just tell him how you feel?_ But … the moment wasn't right.

“I think you work too hard. Don't you ever take time off?”

Seto stared at him witheringly, “I don't suppose this is any of your business, but yes.” He frowned slightly and muttered, “Mokuba insists on it.”

“You take time off?” Atem tried not to laugh for fear Seto would think he was making light of him, but he was genuinely surprised at the admission. “What do you do with yourself?” He had a hard time imagining this hard-driving man relaxing in any way.

Seto seemed to be in the process of becoming more and more annoyed by the probing. “Despite what you might think, I am human. I do occasionally take a little time off. If you absolutely must know, Atem, when I take time off, I often take the small yacht out.”

Business, games, hardware and software, piloting fighter jets, martial arts, higher math, now sailing? Was there anything this man couldn't do?

“You know how to sail?”

“It's not difficult, Atem. Don't you? Doesn't the Ishtar family have yachts?”

“They have that huge one … and the Nile barge …”

“Nothing smaller?”

Atem frowned. “I really don't know what they have.”

“You really ought to become better acquainted with your own family, you know, as long as you have one.”

Atem felt embarrassed. The Ishtars had been so kind to take him in and treat him as one of their own—they had offered without his even having to request it—and here he stood before a man who had lost—and been abandoned by—his own family. How easily he took these precious things for granted, even after all he'd been through. “You know, you're absolutely right,” he said. “I tend to forget that they've adopted me into their family.”

“I understand that it's to their advantage to have you in the family, but still … But we were talking about sailing. You should take the time to learn. You know, I could teach you if you like. Mokuba has been pestering me to take a day off.” He frowned for a moment. “It's actually been rather annoying. This would give me a chance to settle him down.”

Atem tried to contain his excitement. This could be a perfect opportunity! “You don't mind? It sounds like fun. Thanks, Seto.”

“It's basically a two-man yacht, but I can easily handle it myself, so it's perfect for teaching you how to sail. What do you think? Tomorrow? I'll meet you at KaibaLand Arcade at, say, 11 a.m. and we can set out after luncheon.”

“That sounds ideal,” Atem said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic. “I'll let you get back to work, then. See you tomorrow!”

Time alone, the ocean, relaxation … he wasn't going to find a better opportunity than this. _Great Hathor, watch over me!_

* * *

Bakura noticed him first. A tall, handsome blond youth of no more than 19 had entered KaibaLand and started walking straight toward where the the Yugi-tachi and Kaiba brothers were standing. “Who's that?” he asked softly.

Kaiba broke off his conversation and looked surprised. “Alex? What brings you here? Is your father here on business?”

“No, I came here on my own.” Without hesitation, Alex took both Seto's hands into his own and seized his attention with his light blue eyes. “I need your help, Seto.”

“Your father?”

“Who else?”

Seto turned to Atem. “I'm terribly sorry, Atem,” he said. “Do you mind if we postpone our plans for this afternoon?”

As Seto introduced Alex Devereaux to them, Atem considered the stabs of jealousy that pierced him when he saw Alex grasp Seto's hands and again when he realized he wouldn't be spending the afternoon in Seto's company. But whose fault was that? Had he revealed his intentions to Seto? It was obvious enough to him that the boy was in love with Seto. Who wouldn't be? But he'd feel a little better if the kid weren't so damn good looking. He was not quite as tall as Seto and athletic in that rich-boy, tanned, tennis-club and sailing way. Did Seto have any idea? As always, he wondered whether Seto was at all aware of the effect that he had on people because if he did, there was no sign of it. Did this boy have the guile to use his familial distress to his advantage? Atem had no choice but to stand aside and find out. “Of course,” he said.

Seto began guiding Alex off, saying, “I've already arranged to have my small yacht available this afternoon. We can have some time then. You can tell me what the problem is and I'll try to help you work out a plan of action.”

“Thanks, Seto.”

“It's really no problem. Meet me at the KC Marina at one p.m.”

Atem allowed the two to disappear into the mingling crowd of KaibaLand.

“You really wanted to sail today, didn't you?” It was Malik.

_Do I look that disappointed?_

“Uhn, yeah, I did,” he said … _with Seto_ …

“Well, then, let's do it.”

“Do it? Do what?”

Malik grinned, lavender eyes agleam. “Let's sail, my Pharaoh! You know how I love to sail. Let's do it.”

“On that giant yacht of yours?”

“No, silly, I have a small, fun, sailboat, too. You'll love it.”

_It might help get his mind off of things … and there was always the chance that they might …_

_But that would be spying._

“Let's do it.”

“Hurrah!”

**Chapter notes:**

The story will be turning a major corner in about 2-3 chapters.

Hope you don't mind the OC.

_You know how I love to sail_ : Malik does seem to really appreciate water.


	14. A Lesson

Atem felt terribly guilty accompanying Malik, but his genuine joy and pleasure at the prospect of the afternoon's activity eased Atem's discomfort considerably. He gradually realized that this was really the first time since their duel that he had the opportunity to spend time privately with Malik, and, as ever, Malik was anxious to make up for some of the damage he'd done to his Pharaoh and his friends.

As they walked up to Malik's slip, Atem said, “Honestly, Malik, don't feel that you owe me anything. You were placed in an impossible position by fate. We both were. Everything worked out for the best.”

“I know, but I really want to make up for things—a little. I could never do enough, of course—”

Atem put up his hand. “You had too much put on you and too little love and understanding from the authority figures in your life. You didn't have what you needed to give you the strength to face a burden that heavy. Please. There's no need to speak of it.”

Atem saw Malik's eyes grow more fluid as he smiled ruefully and said, “You're right. We all need to put this behind us. I'm being difficult. Let's have a pleasant afternoon.”

The two of them relaxed and got out on the water. Malik gave Atem a quick sailing lesson. As it turned out, he was a good teacher and they were quickly having an excellent time on the water—so excellent, in fact, that Atem almost forgot that he had originally planned to spend the day sailing with Seto.

Almost.

“Let's sail to Five-Spot Island,” Malik suggested amiably. “That's a nice afternoon jaunt and we should make it back in plenty of time for dinner.”

Atem had kept a look-out for Seto throughout their trip and hadn't seen him. ( _It would help if I knew what Seto's yacht looked like_ , he thought.) He decided to give in and give up on the chance of catching a further clue as to what might be going on with this Alex character and enjoy himself. “Sure, Malik,” he said.

“Great!” Malik said with clear delight and relayed orders on trimming the sails accordingly.

Atem sighed inwardly and resigned himself to enjoying the afternoon. Malik wasn't quite the stimulating company that Seto was, but he was certainly a pleasant sight, with skin like smooth caramel, pale blond hair, and those unique lavender eyes. And he still wore the gold bands and revealing shirts that suited him so. He sighed. Seto would never wear anything like that.

“Isn't that Kaiba's yacht?”

“Huh?”

“That yacht, tied up at the dock there, isn't that Kaiba's?”

Atem started out of his reverie and looked where Malik was pointing. “Let's slow down and see if it is. Maybe we can say hi.”

Malik was happy to do so and they eased off. Atem caught sight of a couple of figures aboard the small yacht. It was indeed Seto and Alex. Alex seemed to be speaking earnestly with Seto, Seto's attention fully engaged and his expression uncharacteristically warm.

“Wait, Malik,” Atem said. “This might not be the best time to interrupt.”

“Sure. Should we …”

“Let's not be too obvious.” Atem didn't want to leave too quickly.

As they passed, he saw Alex impulsively throw his arms around Seto's neck and pull himself close, drawing his face toward Seto's. But at that moment, the sail obscured his view and he couldn't see what happened next.

“Yes, this is definitely not the time to interrupt,” he confirmed. “Let's go.”

“OK,” Malik said happily. But Atem wasn't happy at all.

What was Seto's reaction? He had to know.

_This is what I get for spying._

He tried to relax and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

“Is something bothering you?” It was Malik.

“Uh, why do you ask?”

“Well, it's only that you haven't said anything ever since we passed Kaiba's yacht.”

“Oh, sorry. It's just … I think that I interrupted a private moment and … I'm feeling embarrassed about it.”

“You? Atem, it's hard to imagine you feeling bad about anything. You always do the right thing.”

“Me? I make lots of mistakes. I … I guess I put on a really good front of confidence. Pharaohs have to, you know.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

They pulled into Malik's slip. Atem was about to disembark when Malik pulled him into a hug. He bent so that his lips were right next to Atem's ear and whispered, “I guess Pharaohs need reassurance, too. Thank you for everything, Atem. Honestly. And … thank you for today. It was so much fun.”

Amazed, Atem embraced him in return and said, “Thank you too, Malik. I'm glad we can be friends.”

As Atem turned, he was startled to see Seto's yacht tied up nearby.

When had they come in?

Seto was standing next to the slip looking at Atem with an expression that Atem had difficulty reading in its entirety. There was surprise, but also … was that disappointment? Or … disapproval? Was there some other undertone? He felt the blood rise to his face. They had been observed, and had that last bit been misunderstood? Surely Seto didn't think they were a couple. They were never together.

But then there was Alex. He was much easier to read. There was dejection there. Definitely.

_Why couldn't I have a little patience?_

And, looking at the young man, Atem wondered why he couldn't feel a little more compassion instead of this gigantic mixture of relief and gladness. Why was he overjoyed that this young man was suffering so? After all, he would feel the same way if …

“Seto—”

“You couldn't wait to sail, I see.”

“I …”

“Some other time. I'm sorry, but my friend Alex still needs some advice in dealing with his father.”

“Are you sure I couldn't help?”

“I think I understand the situation better in this case, Atem. As well as you know people, Alex's father is a businessman. I think I can work out some sort of arrangement with him.”

“Very well. But … if you change your mind …”

Atem headed back to Malik feeling that things hadn't gone as well as they could have.

“Kaiba's not upset that you came with me, is he?” Malik asked. “He seems …”

“No, I think he's just worried about his friend.”

“Because I wouldn't want him angry with me. I don't know him very well and …”

“Don't worry about it, Malik. If he's upset, he's upset with me. But I don't understand why he would be. He's the one who changed our plans.”

_It couldn't have been that … that he saw Malik hug me. Seto doesn't see me as a potential partner … does he? He's never given me any sign._

_No … he's probably angry because he offered to teach me to sail and I let Malik do it … but why would that be important to him? A blow to his ego?_

Atem looked toward Seto's retreating figure with a mixture of wistfulness and regret. If only he could learn to read him better. What was the matter with him? This was exactly the sort of thing he did best.

“Atem?”

“I'm sorry. It's just … Do you really think that Seto was upset?”

“Kaiba? He always seems a little annoyed with something to me. I'm sorry, Atem, Kaiba scares me a little.”

 _Then why the hell did you hug me in front of him? If you don't like_ him _annoyed with you …!_

Atem suppressed the thought. It wasn't Malik's fault. He was being a good friend, and they had been having a pleasant time. Malik didn't know how he felt about Seto. If he didn't keep his feelings hidden …

But he wasn't prepared to tell Malik about it, either.

“You never …”

“What, are you asking whether I …? I never tried to read him with the _sennen_ rod, no. With the stone carving, I was sort of afraid use it directly against him … you know, lest it respond to him? The priest in the carving …” He frowned. “You—you're not trying to get inside his head, are you? You know that's …”

“Of course I do and I wouldn't … I—I just … Sometimes I just wish I knew what was on his mind, that's all. I really shouldn't be so worried about this, but …” he threw up his hands. “Oh, I don't know!”

Malik stared at Atem with deep concern and compassion. “Great Pharaoh!” He knelt before Atem and bowed his head. “I can't bear to see you in such distress! How can I assist you? Has Kaiba offended you? Is he keeping secrets?”

Atem put his hand on Malik's head and said, “Don't, please. All this is in my mind. Kaiba didn't do a thing. He always keeps secrets,” Atem smiled, “but if he is, I'm positive they don't have to do with me.” _Unfortunately_ , he added mentally.

Atem walked to a bench on the marina boardwalk and sat, allowing Malik to join him.

“You know, I've gotten so that I can predict some of the things Seto's likely to do in a duel situation. He uses a beat-down strategy centered around those dragons of his. He likes to cripple and demoralize his opponent. You can expect him to be aggressive, often impatient.”

“Yes, I'd say that impatience is his primary weakness as a duelist,” Malik commented. “I had planned on exploiting his impatience … I don't even want to think about what my dark side was contemplating …” He shuddered.

Atem felt a chill creep up his spine as well at the thought of Seto facing Malik's darkest, most deranged aspect. “Ah, well. We don't have to think about that. But … it's hard to read Kaiba in ordinary, day-to-day circumstances. He's not an ordinary guy with ordinary feelings. He doesn't like to—”

Malik shrugged. “He doesn't want to have feelings. They annoy him.”

Atem chuckled. Annoyance was an emotion itself, but Malik was right on target. Seto didn't like emotion, did he? He couldn't quantify them or make them work for him. But because he didn't understand them well, people could easily use emotion against him if they knew what they were doing, even those emotions he thought he had under control and working in his favor. Take anger, for example. Seto thought that anger fueled his dueling and made him sharper when, in fact, it made him overly aggressive and impatient. It was primarily his impatience that lost him their duel on Alcatraz. Looking back, that duel could have gone in an entirely different direction had Seto exercised patience.

He examined Malik's open, genuine face, trying to imagine what the duel between his dark side and Seto would have been like. What shadow game would he have conjured up for Seto?

Thank Ra it was only a dark speculation.

“Atem?”

“Sorry. I was just thinking. You're completely right about Seto. He's … maybe he's a little afraid of how he feels. I … I guess I have a hard time understanding what that's like.”

“You too? I thought you could read people like a book.”

A short laugh escaped Atem's lips and he admitted, “I pride myself on that talent, but apparently there are some people who elude even my abilities.”

“Is it so important?”

“I need to understand him, Malik.”

For a moment, Atem was positive that Malik was going to ask why, but then Malik asked whether Atem would like to go to the seafood restaurant at the marina instead.

Atem accepted gratefully, all the while studying those strange lavender eyes of his with their odd, constricted pupils that had dwelt too long in darkness. Malik had immediately moved on to the subject of the Ishtars and family business. Atem reminded himself that they were his adopted family now and that he should spend more time with them after all. “Thanks, Malik,” he said.

“Whatever for?”

“For everything, of course,” he said. _But mainly, right now, for changing the subject_. Atem was positive that Malik had read him clearly and was well aware of his feelings for Seto. But Malik wouldn't say anything about it, not even to Rishid. He had understood completely. Atem was amazed at the manner in which he'd transformed himself into a perfect servant … and an admirable friend.

“Then you're very welcome, I guess,” he said. “Let's get some food into you, my Pharaoh. You look like you need it.”

“Uh, Malik, could you just call me Atem? I'm not sure that people would understand.”

“Oh. Right.”


	15. Challenge

 

**Initial notes:**

[Left as originally posted]

I'm a little concerned (OK, maybe a _lot_ concerned) about how this chapter might be received, so I thought I should write a few initial notes (and that's why the quick turn-around ... don't get used to it!):

  1. Advance warning as to the gaming: As stated before, _I am no expert!_ See [end] notes for further explanations and apologies.
  2. If you don't like what you're reading, please read the Author's notes before complaining. The basis for all character action and outcome was reasoned out. If you're still unhappy ... oh well ... I guess I'll survive ...



“Duel me,” Atem said.

Seto didn't bother to look at Atem. “You know that I've put my cards aside,” he said. “I'm rusty and wouldn't even give you a decent warm-up. But even so, I've promised Mokuba to quit dueling … for the time being. But if you'd like to play a different game … Chess? Poker? Bridge? Go? Monopoly? Backgammon? Risk? Perhaps a video game?”

Atem thought it over. Fun as it would be to play these other games with Seto, it wasn't the same. What he craved was a duel. He needed to know more about Seto and his current frame of mind. Dueling was the only way he knew of to really get to know another person in such an intimate way. “I'd like to play any kind of game with you, Seto,” he said, “but I'd still like to duel you. Are you sure you won't change your mind?”

Seto looked at him without answering. His expression eloquently stated how difficult it was for him to refuse any challenge, but especially a challenge from Atem. He frowned slightly. “I would, but I won't ask Mokuba. We have work to do and I can't indulge myself. I can't—” His frown deepened.

 _What is he thinking?_ Atem wondered. “I wouldn't press, but you know there's no one else who gives me this sort of challenge.”

“Please,” Seto said. “It might not have made the media, but we both know that Yugi has beaten you, at least upon occasion, so don't give me that. He's now the recognized champion.” He looked at Atem appraisingly. “Of course, you don't currently make the tournament rounds.”

“Well, we do look so much alike that it tends to confuse people. It's best that only one of us enters.”

“It really isn't that difficult to tell you apart. Even when you inhabited the same body.”

“You never seemed to have trouble with that. Other people didn't seem to notice so much.”

“There are a lot of stupid people. Of course, I thought at the time that you had some sort of odd split personality.”

“But then, you don't believe in supernatural bullshit.”

“I don't waste my time on it. I've had to recognize that it exists practically since I met you. But we were talking about dueling. So, you and Yugi?”

“Pretty equal. It seems to depend on mood.”

“Hn.” Seto looked at Atem expectantly, but when he said nothing, he said, “So, do you want to play a game, or not?”

Atem thought about it. What he really craved was a game of Duel Monsters and anything else seemed like it would only serve to make that craving worse. “You know, I don't think so,” he said to Seto's frank astonishment.

* * *

Yugi and Seto leaned over the chessboard in pleasant contemplation.

“Knight takes pawn,” Yugi said.

Seto glanced at Yugi. “Did you know that Atem's been pressing me for a duel?” he said casually. “I believe you both know that I've set aside my dueling deck … Rook to Queen's six.”

“I think he mentioned something about that,” Yugi said, trying not to sound nervous. “Pawn to King's three.” And immediately he realized that was the wrong move.

“Check. Has Atem mentioned why he's so interested in dueling me?”

“Not in so many words …” that was true enough, but he knew all the same. “I imagine he wants to understand how you've changed since you two last dueled.” That was close enough without revealing too much.

He stared at the board. It wasn't giving him anything.

“That's a little vague for someone who is like the man's twin.”

“We used to share the same body … _used_ to. Now we're just like any two people.”

“Hn.” Seto paused in a way that implied, _Any two people who are closer than brothers and discuss everything_. “Are you going to make a move?”

“Oh.” He took another look at the board. “I think you have me boxed in.”

“And?”

“I'll have to concede.” _Concede without confessing._ _Sorry, Kaiba. I have my loyalties_. “If you want to know why Atem wants to duel you, why don't you ask him? Or duel him. One or the other.”

“Asking him doesn't get me anywhere, and I won't duel him … not without Mokuba's blessing. So … whatever. It's his problem.” Seto got up and started to leave.

“Look … wait.” Yugi got up. “Let's go together.” Kaiba was hard to keep up with because he didn't alter his pace for anyone, so Yugi had to practically run to keep up with him. “I think you can figure out why he wants to duel you so badly if you think about it for a little while. Think. Why did he duel me instead of you to free his spirit for the afterlife?”

“He felt you deserved the chance to duel him … and—he thought—” _He thought I would only lose again._ Seto didn't want to say it, but it hung in the air. Even now, from this distance, even in his current happiness, the thought was unpleasant.

“That's only the surface level. Think a level deeper. Who is he? Who are you? What is a duel? There's your answer.” Yugi stopped and allowed Seto to stride on ahead as he caught his breath.

But Seto had stopped thinking about where he was going.

* * *

Seto sat at the table, cards spread out before him. As he considered each card and sorted it into its various pile, Mokuba entered. He sat down across from his brother, picked up a trap card, and regarded it quietly for a long moment.

Seto put down the cards, placed his full attention on his brother, and patiently waited for him to say something. At last Mokuba put the card down and said, “You want to duel him, don't you?”

He sighed. How was it possible to put it into words? “In a word, yes,” he said. “You know that he's been pushing me for a duel.” Mokuba opened his mouth, but Seto but up his hand. “I won't accept. I promised I wouldn't duel without your permission …”

“But,” Mokuba continued for his brother. “But you're building a deck all the same. You're dueling him in your mind all the same. He's got you thinking about dueling.”

“And you're worried that I'll start obsessing about beating him again. I understand, Mokuba. I do. And I understand why you're worried about me.”

“We're _happy_ , Seto. We're finally happy. And here he is again. Sure, he helped you work things out so we _could_ be happy, but …”

“… but he's part of the reason why I wouldn't let myself be happy. I understand.”

“No, you don't. You suggested _that_ … the last time you dueled him. It isn't normal. It's dangerous.”

Seto smiled ruefully. “I can't promise you that none of these things won't happen again, but … that's all past. I'll be fine. I don't know why he's so keen to duel me, but there's something …” He stared at the piles of cards on the table before him. Finally he shrugged, and said, “We're duelists.”

Mokuba got up and moved around the table to his brother's side. He leaned over, put his arms around his brother's neck and put his cheek against Seto's. “Duelists,” he said grimly. _Honor at any cost, that's what it meant._ He pulled back and made Seto look into his serious blue-gray eyes. “What if you lose again?”

“Heh. That's not the point.”

Mokuba stared. If that wasn't the point, what was the point? He stared into his brother's shadowy, midnight blue eyes, but, as ever, they were virtually impossible to read. Even for him.

In the past, hadn't the point always been to win? It was about getting the Blue Eyes White Dragon card, or getting even with Yugi, or saving Mokuba and KaibaCorp, or restoring his reputation, but most of all, wasn't it about beating his one true rival? That elusive victory had grown into an obsession that had nearly destroyed him. Wasn't it about winning? About ego? About pride? Or was there something more to it that he had been missing all this time?

The oceanic depths of his brother's eyes revealed nothing.

Mokuba closed his eyes tight. “Promise me,” he whispered. “Promise me you'll be OK. You'll be _happy_. Promise me.”

Seto turned, stood, and embraced Mokuba. “I promise,” he said. “No matter what happens, I promise I won't disappoint you again.” He bent and kissed his brother's forehead. “Come watch. If you don't like the way things are going, give me the word and I'll surrender.”

“You'll … you'll _surrender?_ ” Mokuba's jaw dropped. It was unusual enough for Seto to hug him, let alone kiss him, but _this_ — _!_ He pulled back and stared up at Seto.

“Even if I'm winning.”

“All right, who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

“Very funny, Mokuba.”

* * *

The evening of the duel had arrived at last, and Atem was making his way up to the roof of the KaibaLand Arcade to meet Seto. It was to be a private affair, just between the two of them, with just their guests as witnesses, no media. But Atem found that he had one last obstacle to overcome before the game.

Mokuba stood and blocked Atem's way to the roof door. “I hope you're happy,” he said.

“What?”

“I hope you're happy. You've got your duel. I hope you're happy because the rest of us probably won't be.”

“I need to do this,” he said. “And I think it will be good for your brother too.”

“I think it's selfish. I don't think you're thinking about Seto at all. I'm not sure why you're so set on doing this, but whyever you're doing it, it isn't for his sake. I just wanted to make sure you know that before you duel him.”

Atem laid a hand on Mokuba's shoulder and tried to look into his eyes, but Mokuba was staring straight ahead, looking very unhappy. “I understand. And I know how concerned you are. But you can be sure that I would never want to hurt your br—”

“Like you never mind-crushed him … or meant to—to—” but now Mokuba was in tears, embarrassed to cry at his age. Fists balled, he turned and marched off.

Atem leaned against the wall, stunned and trembling. He was positive Mokuba meant Duelists' Kingdom. He wondered who had told him because he was certain it wouldn't have been Seto.

 _I deserved to have that thrown in my face._ That whole period had been so traumatic for Mokuba. Thank Ra he hadn't been present for that particular duel. For all that he could rationalize that the mind crush actually helped Seto, the other … He could only be grateful for Yugi's intervention. If not for that, where would they all have been?

* * *

Atem placed a magic card face down and examined the face of the duelist across from him. He was dimly aware of Yugi and his other friends supporting him and murmuring amongst themselves along the sidelines. Them, and Mokuba, standing by trying to mask an expression of extreme worry with supportive smile.

But he couldn't allow himself to be distracted. He needed to understand the duelist standing before him.

The archetypal duelist. No. Make that the archetypal _rival_.

Seto.

But telling himself not to be distracted and actually focusing were two different things. Seto dueled with that air of determination, didn't he? That … flourish. That panache. He involved his whole body in it, his arm sweeping out as he drew a card, steely blue flashing as he glimpsed it sidelong. Then, if he decided to play it, the card would zip down to his disk, his entire body contracting in one motion, as though he were a panther coiling for attack.

Not that Atem didn't have his own theatrical flair …

Seto's physicality was difficult to ignore now that Atem had admitted his interest in Seto to himself. In a duel, he couldn't exactly ignore his opponent, now could he? Looking away wasn't only cowardly, it was disrespectful. But looking at Seto was not only distracting, it could potentially open him up to all sorts of problems that he hadn't anticipated. Had this really been his idea?

_What had he been thinking?_

Seto would figure this out for sure … and before Atem was ready to tell him. But maybe … would it be for the best?

Atem tried to bring his mind back on the duel and found himself considering Seto's duel attire, black within white. What could be the possible symbolism attached to that? Light and dark together … but, then, weren't Seto's cards mostly Light and Dark attribute?

_Damn … must think about dueling …_

Still, hadn't his purpose been to divine Seto's frame of mind? This seemed to be strikingly different from their previous duels. Atem was positive that Seto wasn't playing with the impatience that he was accustomed to seeing.

Still, as Z-Metal Tank was called to the field, Atem felt a rush of nostalgia. He reminded himself yet again to keep his head in the game.

One monster, three cards down, four cards in his hand.

“I play Exchange,” Atem said.

“An interesting choice at this juncture,” commented Seto. “But you always did enjoy peeking at other people's cards … and playing with them. With cards like Exchange, Brain Control, Change of Heart, The Eye of Truth …”

“Just show me.”

“If you insist,” he said reluctantly. _Yep, still hates showing his hand as much as ever_ , thought Atem. Seto walked over and displayed his hand. No Blue Eyes White Dragon cards yet, Atem noted. Cloning, Shrink, Lord of Dragons, and Different Dimension Dragon. He selected Cloning. Seto selected Shift.

They returned to where they had been standing.

 _Let's see how much I can annoy you, Seto_. He had Big Shield Guardna up and two face down cards. He was wary of Seto's face-down cards, but Seto had already used Magic Jammer. “Funny that you should mention Brain Control. Reverse card open. I play Brain Control to take control of Z-Metal Tank.”

“Not this time, Atem. Reverse card, open. Trojan Blast. Take 1500 points damage.”

_Naturally Seto would have a card like that._

“Reverse card, open. Pikeru's Circle of Enchantment. The damage is zero.” He frowned. _Well, that was frustrating_. _But there's always Clone_ …

But hadn't he gotten a bit of what he'd wanted? Only … what he'd learned about Seto so far was that, if anything, he was even more guarded than ever. It was a little disappointing, but could he say he didn't expect it?

* * *

“You should know by now that you're not going to win that way, Seto,” Atem said. “I play Polymerization to fuse Black Magician with Buster Blader. Come forth, Black Paladin!”

“Let's see …” began Jounouchi, “with three Blue Eyes White Dragons and Different Dimension Dragon in Kaiba's graveyard, plus the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon on the field, that's …”

“That's 5400 points,” said Seto.

Atem took a second to study his opponent. _The mood of the duel is off_. He was sure of it. It was still … electric … but somehow … attenuated, as though Seto was somehow channeling it this time. He frowned. This felt like _déjà vu_ drained of life. Still, his move was clear. “Black Paladin, attack Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon!”

“Reverse card, open. Shift. Black Paladin attacks my face down monster instead.”

Not so good. His face down cards were Diffusion Wave Motion and Magician's Selection.

Seto continued, “Flip. Cyber Jar.”

_Cyber Jar? Then … he set up all this … the Blue Eyes White Dragons, the Ultimate Dragon … as a trap?_

It was everything Atem could do to keep himself from looking as flabbergasted as everyone looking on … including Mokuba. He busied himself by casting his cards into the graveyard and drawing five. He placed Alpha the Magnet Warrior and Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts in face-down defense position. He didn't like the look of his hand at all, and his points were low. If he could only make it through the turn, he held Monster Reborn …

Seto placed Blade Knight and Spear Dragon on the field.

Why hadn't he been more prepared? Just because Seto hadn't prepared at length, had he taken it for granted that he would win? That he could just observe Seto at his leisure and the duel would take care of itself?

But … no matter what, he never would have suspected that he'd get rid of his Blue Eyes White Dragons.

He studied his hand, hoping it wasn't too late. “I cover two cards and end my turn.”

“My turn. Draw,” Seto said. “I set one card and play Soul Release. I release the three Blue Eyes White Dragons and Different Dimension Dragon from my graveyard and Black Magician from your graveyard. Now I play Stop Defense.”

“Reverse card, open. Dust Tornado. Stop Defense is destroyed.”

“Not so fast. Reverse card open. Curse of Royal. Dust Tornado is sent to the graveyard and its effect is negated.” Atem watched as his monsters appeared on the field. “I summon Drago Infinity to the field.”

“Drago Infinity?” Jounouchi exclaimed from the sidelines.

Seto ignored him and continued. “The attack of Drago Infinity is equal to the number of dragon-type cards removed from play times 1000.”

“Th-that's 4000 points!”

“Very good, Jounouchi,” Seto said. “Drago Inifinity, attack Alpha Magnet Warrior!”

Atem stared at Seto. There wasn't a card in his hand he could use.

“Well? Atem? Aren't you going to do something about Drago Infinity's attack?”

“I can't.”

“You can't?”

“You win, Seto.”

 

**Chapter notes:**

Gee, hope I haven't totally lost you after this ... and now for my insanely voluminous notes:

Re-posted response to comments: I'm glad you liked my Malik - IMO he's often written as pre-duel (even in a post-series setting). I thought his character should reflect the change he underwent, yet retain some of the tendencies he displayed as a child. I hope I did all right.

It was a painful enough chapter to write, sigh. Game play. I only rewrote the duel _**three times!**_ Excruciating. (And it's probably still horrible.) But anyway ...

OK, on to it: _How can I have Seto win?_ Blasphemy? I say no. At Battle City, Atem recognized Seto as his equal in skill (anime _and_ manga). Atem is not in the business of dishing out pity; that would be to show Seto (not to mention a fellow duelist) disrespect, which he does not do. Seto might be rusty, but he has a reason to rise to the occasion. Meanwhile, Atem has an ulterior motive, which he is trying to conceal from Seto for the moment (not to mention a couple of additional distractions). Atem isn't used to dealing with these kinds of things. _Must … not … say … more_ …

Meanwhile, Seto beating Yugi at chess: Shrug, it's Seto's game. Yugi can beat Seto at Go or whatever. Besides, Yugi was distracted … same excuse as above (if you insist). Does the game make sense? Probably not … I didn't even make any effort at it. I'm horrible at chess.

Still not satisfied? Sigh. Gripe away in your comments. That's what they're there for.

The duel: (extra note as of this re-posting) I want to emphasize that this chapter plays on the multi-series concept of The Duel as a means of knowing someone in a deep, perhaps spiritual sense.

_That's not the point_ : OOC, you say? Isn't winning always the point for Seto? I hope that you have an idea what the point is. If you're wondering, stay tuned until the next chapter because inquiring minds (namely Atem's) want to know.

_You suggested_ _ **that**_ : That he should sink himself in the ocean along with Alcatraz (anime). In other words, suicide. Even though he wasn't entirely serious, it spoke to the enormity of his inability to handle the defeat.

_Like you never mind-crushed him_ : Note that, although Atem promised that Seto would recover, Mokuba was left alone to care for Seto in a catatonic state for an indefinite period (alone in the sense that he was the only one present who cared about Seto). As time went on, he became rather angry about this and blamed Yugi (his initial attitude at Duelists' Kingdom).

_Drago Infinity_ : I know it's a fake card, but so what? Symbolically, I wanted to have Seto release the Blue Eyes White Dragon cards, so I needed a card that would give him sufficient reward from a gaming standpoint. I thought of having him power up Fairy Lily, but, really, I can't see him using that one (especially after Virtual World), and, honestly, why not a dragon version of Tyranno Infinity? Besides, there are enough fictional cards in the anime/manga, so why not? At least I have a parallel real card to base it on.

Whew. Done. Let's post and let the chips fall where they may!


	16. Reflection

The loss had left Atem in a daze. He was dimly aware of Mokuba flinging himself against his brother in a tight hug of joy and relief, tears flowing down his cheeks. Meanwhile, the Yugi-tachi surrounded Atem, expressing their condolences.

Atem wasn't sure _how_ he felt. This wasn't the result he had expected at all. Was it true? Yes … it was. The last thing he expected was that he might lose. Seto … he'd locked his deck away, he should be … He should _never_ be underestimated, that's what he should be.

_Hubris? Serves me right …_

Gradually, the two duelists, both seemingly stunned by the results, managed to extract themselves from their supporters long enough for the loser to congratulate the winner, but considering the condition of shock of both participants, they weren't capable of much more. Atem soon found himself shepherded toward the KaibaLand diner.

Someone—Jounouchi?—shoved a menu in front of his face and he sort of stared at it uncomprehendingly as his companions buzzed around him. Just what was he feeling? More importantly, what was Seto feeling? He glanced up. Of course he wouldn't be here. He'd be celebrating somewhere with Mokuba, right? He was … during the duel, he was so … magnificent. He thought back, thinking about how he looked and moved. The sureness of his voice as he announced that he was releasing his dragons. He was …

_What am I doing sitting here?_

Atem stood up.

“What's wrong?” asked Jounouchi. “You've been … weird … ever since the duel.” He looked Atem over suspiciously. “This is almost as bad as when you lost to Raphael … but you didn't lose anyone's soul this time.”

Yugi squirmed noticeably and said, “He just lost to his greatest rival. Give him a break.”

“Uh, I'll be back in a couple of minutes,” Atem said. He had to talk things over with his opponent. Could Seto still be in the building? He gathered his senses and began searching.

Atem found Seto on the roof of the KaibaLand Arcade building, leaning on the railing and looking at the city. Domino really _was_ his now, if he wanted it, Atem thought. Then he remembered how he used to think it odd that the name of the city was the same as a game piece, _domino_ , something used for dominoes. But the word _domino_ was related to the word _dominion_. Would Seto, at least, the old Seto, care about playing with the fate of an entire populace, his Domino? He certainly was about dominion. The new Seto certainly was a new sort of Pharaoh. In the Capitalist world, where money was everything, captains of industry were the pharaohs and emperors.

Now Seto simply draped over the railing at ease, looking over his realm into the fading sunset. Atem joined him, glad that his posture allowed him the opportunity, for once, to look him in the eye without looking upward. “Where's Mokuba?” he asked. “I thought you'd be out celebrating somewhere.”

“He was way too hyper. This isn't supposed to be publicized and he can't stop talking about it. I had to remind him that you aren't Motou Yugi anymore and send him around to see to the running of the arcade. It's fine, of course, but it will help him re-focus.”

“He's just relieved,” Atem said. “He was worried. But I don't suppose he need have been. You really have changed. Your strategy was completely different.”

“I knew that it would have to be for me to have a chance of winning our duel,” he said simply. He looked at Atem then and said, “There was a time when I wanted to beat you down. Maybe beating you any other way wouldn't have felt like winning …” He looked at Atem, letting a few moments tick away, and looked out over the city again. “Maybe in a way, it still feels that way. Maybe part of me still wants that. But I don't think I could have. Won.”

Atem settled in next to him, willing him to look him in the eye again. “You released your Blue Eyes White Dragons. I never would have thought you would have done that.”

Seto looked at him again. “Aren't you the one who believes that a duel is so much more than a game?”

Atem leaned in a little. He could almost picture how they looked together, like

lovers

conspirators, speaking softly in a shared language that few others could understand. “You too,” he pointed out. “You're the one who told me that dueling was like a mirror with two faces, an instrument that revealed both duelists to each other.”

“Did I? It must be so, then.” He frowned ever so slightly. “Is that why you were so keen to duel me? So, what secrets did I reveal to you?”

Atem searched Seto's face. _Did he think I was prying?_ “I said it, you've changed. You don't seem angry any more.”

“If I've changed, I've you to thank. You and Mokuba.”

He shrugged and looked down at his hands. “I can't make you do anything, you know that. If you've changed, it's by your own will.” He forced himself to look into Seto's eyes again.

_Your own indomitable will …_

Seto looked out at the city again, frowning slightly. “The duel I was fighting … I had to know, Atem. Our last duel. As you recall, you informed me in no uncertain terms that my opponent was not only you, but myself. I've worked very hard to put all that—all the anger and hatred—behind me, but …” he looked back directly into Atem's eyes, “but the only way I could be absolutely certain was by dueling. By dueling _you_ , Atem. In our duel, I considered my first and most important opponent myself. If I could control myself, I would consider the outcome a victory … of sorts … even if I lost.”

Atem regarded his rival. “Seto. You've evolved.” He wanted badly to tell him that he was proud of him, but bit back the words. He knew Seto would find them patronizing.

“What I'm not sure I understand is your game,” Seto said. “I have a sense that you were holding back … I'm not sure how to say this … you were trying to come after me without fully committing to your attack.”

So obvious …

He smiled to himself, a tiny smile, but Seto caught it in the first glimmer of starlight. “I thought so.” Obvious only to him, Atem thought. “Just what _are_ you hiding, Atem?” Seto turned the full attention of his sharp, piercing gaze on Atem and said, “You've usually been more open with me than I've found … comfortable. So I'm not sure what to make of this. After all the times you've said that you consider me your friend. At last I'm willing to make that commitment, and … has that changed?”

“Seto …” He searched his companion's face. If he spoke the truth, how would he take it? The duel … he had let go his dragons, the symbol of a love his soul could never reclaim. And they were, alone in all this world, the ones who could understand each other. He leaned in as though to

kiss

whisper a secret in Seto's ear, when

“I wondered where you two got to!” It was Jounouchi. “Everybody's asking after you. _Both_ of you, Kaiba.”

Atem thought he caught a hint of irritation in the blue of Seto's eye, but it might have been the reflection of his own.

“Sorry,” Seto said, standing smoothly. “We're just unwinding from the duel and rehashing strategy.”

_Thanks, Seto …_

Atem covered his mixture of disappointment and relief by stretching. “Yeah, I guess I lost track of time talking about that. Sorry, Jou.”

“You ought to be … how could you lose to this guy? You knew he had Cyber Jar.”

“I have access to a lot of cards.”

“But what's this Drago Infinity? I've never seen that.”

Seto pulled out his deck spread it, slipping the card out. “It's actually a commemorative card that Pegasus gave me at our most recent partnership signing. It's based on the Tyranno Infinity card, only for the Dragon sub-type. I gave Pegasus a custom duel disk and he gave me this card.”

Jounouchi scowled. “Isn't it cheating to use that kind of card?”

Atem shrugged. “Not by the rules we agreed to.”

“If Atem could handle the Golden Castle of Stromberg, this should have been no problem for him.”

Jounouchi stared, then looked at Atem. “You're right. I've seen you handle worse. What gives?”

Atem didn't have a good answer for that. “I … this time I just didn't have the cards. Seto took me by surprise, I suppose.”

Seto cast him a look as though he was sizing him up, then started back. Jounouchi settled in next to him, chewing his ear off about the duel. Oddly, Seto and Jounouchi were the ones chatting about Duel Monsters in front while Atem trailed trying to compose his thoughts. How strange to see those two actually tolerating each other. Had they entered an alternate universe? Maybe this actually could work out … if he could just get the timing right!

If only he could sense how Seto felt about him. In the old days, if he'd lost, he'd have expected Seto to discard and ignore him, but now Seto was curious why his game was off. And then there was Seto's game. _He conceded that he was tempted to try to dominate me … but he was willing to finesse me._ He stared at Seto's back as he trailed behind the pair. He used to think that finesse was the winning strategy. But … right now … he wished … If he really admitted it to himself, didn't he really want Seto to dominate him? Because, in the end, wasn't Seto the only person in the world …

He was the only person who _could_ do it. The only person he'd _allow_ to do it.

The only person who'd _dare_.

_Why_ _hadn't he seized the moment?_

He'd patiently waited for the exact right moment only to see Jounouchi tear it away from him. Now he could only walk along and hope another moment would present itself.

_What's wrong with me?_ It wasn't as though he was averse to gambling. He had gambled with his own life frequently enough. But this was different. He had only gambled with Yugi's life when he had been forced to … and it was Seto who had taken the initiative in Atlantis. _Seto …_ He remembered watching the light fade from Seto's eyes and feeling—for those few, desperate moments—that all hope was lost. When it came to losing people, he was a coward. He could throw his own life around as much as he pleased, but when it came to the lives of his friends … or even his relationships with his friends, it was another story completely.

Was Seto stronger in this way? His insistence on going it alone left him vulnerable, but, on the other hand, didn't he have a superior ability to let go?

Or did he?

There's Mokuba. Duelists' Kingdom was the proof that Seto wasn't willing to face his own failure to save him. What must it have been like for Seto when he was a child and everyone he knew and trusted was taken away except for Mokuba?

No wonder he'd do anything to protect him.

_When you only allow yourself to connect with one person it's easy to let go of everyone else, isn't it?_

Coming to himself, he saw Seto shrinking into the distance. It seemed such a common experience to see him so, but usually he was alone or with Mokuba. Now he was with Jounouchi. Despite what he knew of their relationship, he couldn't help but feel a pang just from the fact that the two were together.

What were they discussing? How could they be so friendly?

He ran to catch up.

**Chapter notes ...  
**

Reposting response to comments: Whew! Thanks everyone for reading, and especially for reviewing this time and letting me know that you didn't hate my choice to have Kaiba win the duel. I must say I'm relieved because I genuinely didn't know how folks would react. But I couldn't see leaving it out (character-wise) and after I read back the Seto/Mokuba scene, I liked it too much to lose it. About Mokuba: In the fanfics I've read, he often takes Atem's side in arguments with his brother. As you can see, my approach is a little different. You'll see more of Mokuba as the story goes on. Also, [ ** _Story SPOILER_** ] for those of you interested in seeing more from Seto's point of view, there will be more of that as the story goes on and things get angstier for him (hint). But enough of that.

I ended up adding to this chapter and it ended up a longer than I originally expected (and I ended up changing it more than I ever expected I would!).

_Dueling is like a mirror with two faces_ …: Seto's words at Duelists' Kingdom. [14/9/14: Um, if I remember correctly, I wasn't quite correct here and I mention that in notes further on; I'm a little too lazy to change it right now; maybe later. (Also having a nit with the duel that I might adjust, too, so ... eh, still tweaking after all this time!)]

_Had they entered an alternate universe?_ : Seto can tolerate Jounouchi because Atem is giving him (Seto) more of his time and attention. (For more about this perspective, see my story, _Preference_.)


	17. Venture

“So, you've noticed how finished KaibaLand has been looking lately,” Yugi commented, handing Atem a cup of tea.

_No need to rub it in._

“Yes, it looked almost done when we checked out the paintball and laser tag facilities.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Kaiba lives in the United States now.”

“I know that.”

“OK, fine. If you don't care that the man you love is going to go back to live on the other side of the world, that's your business.”

Atem sighed. “You think I haven't been trying? Something always seems to come up! Jounouchi! That Alex kid! Every moment I think I'm going to have a chance to talk to him lately something gets in the way.”

“You see him all the time doing consulting at KaibaCorp.”

“When the mood is completely wrong for this sort of thing. No thanks.”

“Oh, excuse me, Your Majesty.”

“I should say so.”

“I think you should take the direct approach. If the moment doesn't present itself, you just have to create one. Approach him. Pull him out of his office if you have to. Do what you need to, just get him alone. Before he gets away from you for another five years.”

_Another five years?_

Atem thought that over and … No, at this point waiting five years to see Seto again just wasn't going to work for him. He needed Seto. He needed Seto now.

* * *

Atem stood at the edge of the helipad and looked out over the city.

“Haven't you been up here before?” said a voice behind him.

“Seto.” Atem smiled to himself, not turning. “No, I haven't. At least … not so that I could look around. The view is amazing.”

He felt a presence step beside him and looked up at his companion.

_The view is amazing._

Seto was gazing at him with mild amusement mingled with pride of ownership, his joy at the ability to share such simple pleasures shining through his face. Always handsome, Seto looked inhumanly beautiful in that instant. Atem wanted to hold his breath and capture the moment.

Casting the thought aside, Atem asked, “Why the 'copter?”

“KaibaLand, of course,” Seto beamed. “I thought you might like a tour before it opened.”

“Of course! Where's Mokuba? Didn't you say he'd be with us today?”

“Unfortunately, some catering issues just came up in the last few minutes and he's taking care of them.”

“You don't want to wait?”

“There's no telling how long it will take to work this out. Mokuba might have to make entirely new arrangements.” Seto motioned toward the helicopter. “Shall we?”

Atem realized that Seto meant to pilot it himself and felt a slight thrill run through his body at the prospect of spending the next several minutes alone with Seto.

Soon they were flying above Domino. Atem remarked, “Did I say the view was amazing from the top of the KaibaCorp building?”

“You did. Do you want to revise your assessment?”

“No, but does that make this view spectacular, then?”

Seto chuckled. “Just wait until you see the new KaibaLand,” he said.

“I thought we saw the park already while we were beta testing,” Atem remarked.

“That?” Seto said. “That was nothing! You only saw selected elements of the park, before the landscaping and detailing was completed. Just wait.”

Then he saw it. It wasn't just an amusement park. It was also a beautiful, enticing place to enter. They flew above something that looked like a fantasyland in which one dreamworld flowed almost seamlessly into another, diverse, yet somehow integrated.

Seto took the helicopter down and landed it in the central mall area of the park.

They got out of the helicopter and Kaiba led Atem to a park map. “What would you like to see?”

Atem laughed out loud. “Everything!”

The park was nearly deserted except for security staff and a skeleton crew of ride operators and engineers who were running final checks and looking for efficiency improvements.

“This is terrific! We can just walk on any time we want.”

“You can always do that when you're with me,” Seto pointed out. “CEO's privilege.”

After many rollercoaster rides, a visit to the arcade, and a tour of the grounds, Seto took Atem to one of the more upscale restaurants in the park.

“The staff has the day off,” he said. “I've had this delivered.”

“I'm not writing an article, Seto.”

“Sorry. Force of habit, I guess. I'm so used to showing guests around my parks that I feel the need to explain what's part of the experience and what isn't.”

“Pizza? I didn't think you ever ate anything like that.”

“It's extremely popular in America and Mokuba likes it a great deal. Remember, I expected that he'd be spending the afternoon with us. Besides, we've walked quite a distance. I think we can handle the calories.”

Pizza was more Yugi's sort of food than Atem's, but it truly tasted good just then. And the company … he couldn't look into Seto's eyes for too long, or … He wanted to lose himself in them.

It was so difficult to bring up this subject, but he felt it was standing in their way … his way. How to say what he needed to say? “I know you don't like to talk about the past …”

“… but it seems to be one of your favorite subjects.” Seto smiled.

Maybe this was a good time after all.

“Go ahead. I'll try not to get too impatient.”

“Remember that day at Duelists' Kingdom?”

Seto closed his eyes for a moment. Of course he remembered it. None of them would ever forget it.

“I'm trying to forget the entire episode,” he said. “But never mind that. Go ahead.”

“I'm sorry, Seto. There's something that I need to say to you about it. I've never brought it up, but … I wanted to say that it was the worst memory I have. I've tried to forget about it, but it … it haunts me. It's probably selfish of me, but I need to apologize to you.”

“For _not_ taking my life?” Seto's face clouded with confusion, then suddenly cleared. “Of course. Yugi. You changed from duelist Yugi to boy Yugi. I never bothered to analyze it, but it makes sense. If Yugi hadn't stepped forward, I'd be dead.”

“That doesn't seem to bother you,” Atem observed, surprised by Seto's calm demeanor.

“I'm not dead,” he pointed out. “A lot has happened and I've had plenty of opportunities to die since then. You've saved me from it any number of times. I think you've paid any debt you may think you owe me.”

“But that might have been the deepest regret of my life!”

Seto sighed and stared at his plate. “At that point it had become painfully obvious that I had …” Seto swallowed and finished his sentence with some difficulty, “I had failed Mokuba.” Seto then raised his head proudly and forced himself to stare directly into Atem's eyes. “At that time I told you that I considered the duel a test of the duelist. You didn't know what I was dueling for. Perhaps I could have trusted in you, but you know that I wasn't ready to do that. I had no choice but to win. I had no one but myself to rely upon to save Mokuba, and all I had left was my life. I believed that it was possible that you wouldn't be willing to take my life to win. I was willing to risk it not to lose. If you were willing to take it to win, I was willing to pay it as the cost of the gamble. That is what dueling for real stakes is all about.” He examined Atem's face. “Hell, we've done it often enough.”

“Maybe,” he allowed. “But it never hurt like that. I never would have accepted those stakes again.”

“I respected you for attacking. I couldn't have lived … without him … knowing that I'd failed him, anyway.”

Atem let that sad thought sink in for a second or two, then asked, “You'd … if something like that came up now, would you trust me … enough to tell me what was happening?”

“If someone tried to pit us against each other, I wouldn't let them get away with it.”

Atem let the silence spin out between them for several minutes, then said, “Do you remember what Anzu said afterward?”

“I'm sorry, I don't tend to pay much attention to what she says.”

Atem suppressed a laugh. “I don't suppose you do. She chastised you for risking your life, your last card, over a game …. But the thing is, I had done the very same thing myself right before then, right in front of her. It was as though she had forgotten all about that.”

Seto shrugged. “So? Maybe it was because you lost—because you surrendered on my account.”

“No, I think it's because we both knew _I wasn't really in any danger of losing then_. I wasn't fighting anyone who could possibly challenge me … or who mattered. With you it's always been different.”

“Hn.” He considered. “But you have lost,” he pointed out.

“You mean Doma. I lost myself then. I could never do that dueling you.”

“You have an answer for everything, don't you? Has anyone ever told you that's an annoying quality?”

Atem smiled.

* * *

The shadows started to stretch out and Atem noticed some of the staff heading for the exit. Seto said, “I'm sorry to keep you so long, but I'd like to show you one more thing, and you can't see it until dusk.” In the center of the park was a huge, futuristic spire with a shining star floating above it and a glowing 3D galaxy spinning slowly about it. The spire looked completely metallic and featureless as they approached.

“Th-that's amazing!” Atem exclaimed, truly impressed.

Seto simply smiled with pleasure at Atem's reaction. Then he glanced at Atem and actually winked, placing his hand against the smooth surface of the spire. A door seemed to magically appear.

“H-how?”

Another smile. “That would be saying,” he beamed. “Nothing supernatural, I assure you. But come in! These are the executive offices in the park.”

Atem stared at the luxe surroundings. There were actually windows that you could see out of, yet the appearance was of an absolutely smooth and featureless metallic surface on the outside.

They took an elevator to the top, and Seto led Atem out. They could see the single huge star right above them, with its galaxy of tiny stars spinning slowly around them. It would be difficult, Atem decided, for anyone below to see them standing there.

“This is … truly incredible, Seto. I think it will be an enormous success.”

“I'm very confident it will be … but I'm glad you agree.”

_But …_

It was as though a cloud passed over the face of the moon. The sun had set now, and the lights had turned on all over the park. It was quite beautiful at night.

_But nothing can compare with you, Seto._

Atem castigated himself. _Couldn't he just enjoy it?_

Or …

_Couldn't he seize the moment?_

The whole afternoon and evening … just he and Seto and the park.

_Was this a date?_

No. Seto didn't think like that. He treated everyone like an inferior with the exception of his brother and Atem. Mokuba he treasured as his beloved brother. Atem was the only one he treated as an equal. It was just friends, hanging out. Seto, showing off his pride and joy to his friend. That's all it is. All the same …

_Why don't you tell him how you feel?_

Yugi's words rang so clearly in Atem's mind that for a moment he felt that their mind link had been re-established somehow. But it was only a memory.

He looked toward Seto, but he had stepped to the railing and was leaning over it, gazing at his creation lovingly.

Atem let the view fill his eyes. The lights of the park, the galaxy of stars moving around them, the beauty and presence of Kaiba Seto … all that he had survived, all that he had conquered to reach this moment, not least of all, himself.

Before he realized it, he had crossed the few steps between them and found himself reaching over. Leaning on the railing as he was, Seto's face was now within easy reach. Atem watched his right hand slide behind Seto's head, where it tangled in his hair, pulling Seto's head forward as his other hand slipped around his torso. Atem's barely-conscious mind registered, “His hair _is_ soft,” as their lips met.

At last a cautious thought entered Atem's mind and he began to brace himself for a strongly negative reaction as he simultaneously clung to the feelings that were flooding in. Suddenly, he felt a large hand tangle itself into his own hair to support his head and an arm embrace him as Seto returned and deepened the kiss. He closed his eyes even tighter and pressed his body against Seto's as he ran his hand down to Seto's lower back. The sensation was overwhelming.

Suddenly Seto stiffened and pushed Atem away by both shoulders.

Atem's eyes flew open. The starlight-in-motion effect of Kaiba's display gave his face a strange, morphing aspect as Atem attempted to read his expression. Atem was positive that he had felt real passion in Seto's response just a moment ago, but now all he saw was shock, betrayal, and profound sorrow in his friend's face. “S-Seto … I …” he began.

But Seto didn't want to hear it.

“Just … stop.”

Atem was flabbergasted. It couldn't possibly be that Seto was completely straight. Atem's instincts were never that far off. But then … “But … what's wrong?” he asked. “You were―”

Seto looked like he was in such pain that Atem wanted to comfort him and took a step toward him, but Seto took a step back, almost flinching. Kaiba Seto, always so cool and self-controlled. It was difficult to see him barely hanging on this way.

“All this time,” he muttered.

“Seto?”

“All this time … All that time, in Duelists' Kingdom, in Battle City. All that time I pursued you …” He stepped to the rail again, looking out, as though considering whether he wanted to expose all this to Atem. Finally, he said, “You know that I don't like to look back. I don't like to spend a lot of time examining my motives. I consider it a waste of time. But … after Alcatraz … after seeing Mokuba so disappointed … I had to do something.”

Atem took a breath. He remembered how shattered Seto had been, how difficult it had been to see him in that state. He waited, holding his breath.

“You know that I meant to go to America to heed your advice, to set aside my anger, my hatred—even my deck. To resolve my past and finally move on.

“But as we began work on the amusement parks, after … after _Egypt_ … in odd moments I thought about what had occurred. I had been sick at heart and you helped heal me. There's no denying that … but … I needed to understand the basis of this obsession … to duel you, beat you. I had always thought it was because I had never lost and you had handed me my first defeat at Duel Monsters. I'd thought that victory over you would be total victory, total achievement, and that would be the only way to completely put the past to rest. I thought that you were the obstacle, the one thing that remained between me and my goals. But that … that was just … illusion.

“Even more, there was the challenge of dueling you itself. Dueling you feels … I know you've felt it. It's not like dueling anyone else.”

“There's a sensation of risk, of …” Atem couldn't put it into words. It was exciting, challenging. “Only you give me that sense of … of _danger_.”

“Yugi?”

Atem started a little. Had he meant the danger of losing? Obviously Seto had taken it that way, but was that what he had meant? He decided that losing was part of it … but there was more to it than that. Yugi? He had lost to Yugi, of course. But, did that feel like losing? It just didn't _feel_ the same. Why was it so important to him to beat Seto—so much more important to him than beating Yugi? He was still smarting a little from his recent loss … losing to Yugi never left him second-guessing himself like this. And that other thing, the thing that he couldn't quite name, wasn't there at all. Yugi had called Atem “his other self” for so long … was it that? Or was there more to it? He almost got lost trying to sort it out, then caught sight of Seto's demanding expression. “Huh. That's so different.”

“Hn. Eventually, I realized that there was more to the obsession than simple victory. Certainly it was more than my need to enhance my company's and my own personal image. Those are just so much nebulous capital. My pride? More important, but even that wasn't all of it. The God Cards? Prizes for my deck, yes, but also something that you wanted, a way to bring you to me. Winning would be a way … a way of making you recognize me, of making you come after me the way—the way I came after you.” His hands were on the railing now, gripping it tightly. “It was … not … healthy. Suddenly it was clear that there was another aspect to my frustration … something that I was using all that anger to hide.

“And winning … winning wouldn't have solved that problem at all.”

“You're trying to say―”

“Yes.”

“Then I don't understand you at all.” Atem was trying to concentrate on what Seto was saying, but his entire body was thrumming with the electric aftereffects of Seto's touch. All he wanted to do was re-initiate that incredible kiss. And if … if Seto was actually in _love_ with him …

There was a pause, as though Seto couldn't believe Atem was this dense. Atem watched him glare blindly out over the park, his hands gripping the railing as though attempting to rip it asunder, trying to divine what was going on inside him and only sensed turmoil. Finally, Seto let go and swung around.

“I won't join your hangers-on … your _Yugi-tachi!_ ”

_Huh?_

Atem was truly confused now. “Don't you see that everything's different with you? Can't you get that I _love_ you? I am in love with you, Seto. I really don't understand you now.”

His eyes rolled heavenward. “You wouldn't, _Pharaoh_. You've always had the luxury of making all your own decisions. I've had to fight for the right to make mine. And more than that, I have someone depending on me … on my decisions.”

“Uh!” he grunted in realization. “Is _that_ it? Surely there's room for both of us to make our way if—if we decide to go ahead―”

He was interrupted by a short bark of bitter laughter. “If _we_ decide? Since when did _we_ ever decide _anything?_ Starting this whole conversation was _your_ idea, Atem. _You_ waited until I came back to Domino. _You_ decided to kiss me. _You_ think there's no problem with all this.” The words were tumbling out. “And you deci- … you …” He trailed off, an expression of devastation flitting across his features as he closed his eyes for a moment.

“What?”

“Nothing.” And yet, he was shaking now, so full of emotion that he was barely in control. It was agonizing for Atem to see him this way, and yet, a double thought still sprung into his mind unbidden.

_If I could get him just a little tipsy, it would be so easy._

And

_But if I did, I would lose him forever._

At last Seto looked at Atem side-long and said, “If I let myself, I could lose myself in you. I can't let that happen.” Then he pushed away from the railing, his posture stiff and erect.

“Seto …”

“Atem, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to fly you back. I'm afraid that I've noticed an important issue that I need to discuss with the engineering staff. I'll have my driver take you home.”

“Seto …”

“We're not discussing this further. Certainly not tonight.”

* * *

Seto waited until Atem was gone before he allowed himself to think about anything. Now he was going to have to fly a helicopter in this state of mind. Thank goodness they weren't difficult to handle, but if Mokuba knew, he'd be fit to be tied. He would insist that Seto leave the 'copter there and have the driver take him home. But he didn't want to wait and he certainly wasn't going to share a ride with Atem right now.

_Damn him!_

Why did he have to be such a master of creating impossible situations?

Switches on, rotor turning. Hand on stick … _still_ trembling! He growled under his breath.

_That kiss …_

Now his body was screaming at him in frustration that he ended such bliss, while his psyche screamed that just when he had reached a point where he felt at peace with himself, Atem found a way to start a new internal war.

_But I am not going to sell my soul to get my rocks off._

The frustration … the need … but … what could happen to him if he gave in? The way he was when … when he felt this way before …

_I can't be that person again._

_I_ won't _be that person._

It was bad enough when he didn't understand the reasons behind his frustration. Now …

_But … if Atem feels … do I have to …?_

No … the risk that he might revert to form was far too great. Atem couldn't understand. He wouldn't understand. He wanted what he wanted and would disregard Seto's concerns. Seto was positive of that.

And … this would ruin everything they'd built together. _Damn it! This was what Atem claimed he'd wanted. Friendship. Leave it to him to change the rules._

He couldn't cry. He had long ago trained himself not to. Not only were tears useless, they were a signal to others that you were weak: easy prey.

Anger had always been the chosen response. It served to drive away potential scavengers and predators … plus it had the added benefit of disguising real problems. Problems that you could do nothing about. Anger was superior because you could always find some way to act on it. There were situations and problems in life that had no immediate solution or no solution whatsoever.

But although anger had succeeded in removing Kaiba Gozaburo from his life, it almost took Mokuba away from him and almost consumed him completely. It fueled his obsessions and delayed his future. Ultimately he had to discard it as his preferred response.

If he couldn't cry and he couldn't get angry, what could he do about it?

He found himself sitting in the cockpit now, and said to himself, “There's no helping it. I won't think about it. We'll just have to put it behind us.” If he could put Alcatraz in the past where it belonged, couldn't he do the same with this unfortunate incident?

He tried to concentrate exclusively on flying, but it wasn't easy.

**Chapter notes ...  
**

I hope that you aren't too annoyed that I threw a monkey wrench in between our lovers, but you just knew it wouldn't be all flowers and valentines between these two.

_I had done the very same thing myself right before then_ : In the anime, against Panik. Although Panik demanded Yami Yugi's life, he accepted the stakes. In the manga, Yami Yugi wagered his life in the duels with Haga (to make up for the second star chip (it was his deck in the anime)), against Panik (in the manga he staked it directly rather than under duress), and against the fake “channeled spirit” Kaiba, who demanded his life as stakes.

A little commentary on Anzu, since (sorry) I can't resist. In the manga, she watches Atem wager his life (or Yugi's, whatever) several times and says less than boo. She also berates Kaiba for belittling Jounouchi when he (Kaiba) knows nothing about what Jounouchi's fighting for. Then she castigates Kaiba for not “protecting that chip [his life] ... no matter what.” (Both of these in both manga and anime). She knows nothing about what he's fighting for, either—nor does she care. Hypocrisy or blind bias towards her friends? You be the judge. Clearly she can't see that the duel left _both_ duelists in pain. (I'm positive this contrast is intentional.)


	18. Aftereffects

Atem walked through the door to find Yugi waiting for him. “Soooo … what happened?” he asked.

“If you must know, Kaiba took me on a tour of the new park.”

Yugi's eyes got larger. “Really!”

Atem sighed. There was no doubt Yugi was going to read him anyway, so he might as well talk about it now rather than undergo the treatment. “Mokuba wasn't there. It felt almost like a date.”

“And?”

“And? If you must know, I kissed him.”

“Well, why didn't you say that in the first place?! How did he react? What did he say? Can I tell everybody?”

Yugi must have read the dismay in Atem's expression, because concern immediately entered his own even as Atem said, “I didn't feel like it, not well, it's a long story, and most definitely not.”

“That cad.”

“It—it's not like that. I … I sort of sprang it on him unexpectedly and … and he didn't take it well.”

“But―”

“He liked it … wanted it,” Atem frowned. “That's not the problem. The problem … apparently … ”

Yugi suppressed a chuckle. It was so like Kaiba. “He's headstrong and willful. Just like you.”

“What?”

“Just. Like. _You_.” Yugi looked at him with his large, compassionate eyes. He didn't take joy at Atem's situation, but he saw the humor in it. “What did he say, Atem?”

“He … I didn't understand it at all. It was something about not being one of the 'Yugi-tachi.'”

“Really. He said that.”

“You don't seem surprised.”

Yugi cast him a slightly frustrated look. “For a guy who's so compassionate and understanding, sometimes you can be pretty dense about people.”

Atem didn't know how to take that, so he just waited for Yugi to go on.

“You have an entourage, Atem. Especially in the old days.”

“Entourage?”

“Can you imagine Kaiba as part of an entourage?”

“Unh …”

“OK, Atem, in the old days, what happened?”

“What do you mean, 'What happened'?”

“Remember how Kaiba used to walk away? What happened then?”

“Well, nothing, of course. He walked away, that's all. I don't know what you're getting at.”

“What I'm saying is all he ever saw was you running after the gang—or, actually, most often, the gang running after you. You never once followed him. You only ever sought him out when you needed to enlist his help for your friends. Did you ever consider offering him your help?”

“Are you kidding? Seto doesn't need my help! Trying to force it on him would just be … insulting!”

“So you've been insulting all of us all this time?” Yugi said, a little ironically.

“No.”

“So it's just insulting to Kaiba, then.”

“You don't understand.”

“No, I do. He's different. You put him on a completely different level from the rest of us, just as he puts you on a completely different level.” Yugi chuckled affectionately. “You're made for each other. You simply _have_ to find a way to get through to him.”

Yugi got up to make tea, leaving Atem stewing over this. “But don't worry, Atem,” he called from the kitchen, “he feels exactly the same way about you. That is, that you don't need his help. In fact, that if you _did_ need his help, you wouldn't be worth his time.”

Atem cringed a little as the bell-like sounds of Yugi's laughter floated to him from the kitchen. “It's just so … _appropriate …!_ ”

“Glad you're having so much fun at my expense,” he groused.

Yugi returned with the tea and poured Atem a cup. “But, you know, for ordinary, _mortal_ couples? You, know, like the rest of the human race? Helping each other out is, well, sort of like the basis of a relationship. But you guys …! Poor Kaiba. Remember how embarrassed he's always been to accept help of any kind from us?”

“He was gracious enough at Duelists' Kingdom.”

“Do you realize how much pride he was swallowing there?”

“You're saying I shouldn't have helped him?”

“What I'm saying is, he's embarrassed that you had to. It shows just how much Mokuba means to him.”

“B-but, he's helped me—us.”

“When we needed help for our friends, Atem.”

“That's not … he supported me, just like any of our other friends, just like you. I couldn't have done it without him and you know it.”

Yugi smiled. “That's true, but don't you think that he would have liked to have played the hero … just once?”

“Seto doesn't care about that stuff.”

“He _says!_ ”

“So you're saying that he made it a choice between him and the gang?”

“Not consciously, but if he allowed himself to become one of the gang, he'd _be_ one of the gang. You notice that we all tend to do what you want to do. We follow your lead. Kaiba …”

“He makes his own decisions. He always insisted on going his own way, even if it didn't make any sense. Sometimes it seemed like he did it just to …”

“… assert his will?” Yugi smiled. “He didn't want to become one of the crowd to you, Atem. He needs you to value him, whether he realized it or not at the time. You're the only one―”

“The only one he recognizes as an equal.”

“So he's in an impossible situation. He needs you to see him as your equal, Atem, but I sense that, whether he's beaten you in a duel or not, he still suspects that you don't see him that way. He envisions that you'll always insist on making the decisions in any relationship and―”

“He can't abide that. He's as much as told me. He'll sacrifice the happiness of the both of us. But I told him … I'm fine with sharing the decisions. I don't see why we can't share that role.”

“But he might not see sharing as being as feasible as you do. And I'm not sure he can be happy without feeling that he's in control. And, what's worse, he'd hate it if you gave up your pride for his sake. Your greatness … and your pride … I think they're things that he finds special about you. The both of you require your pride, and part of that is, well, a certain amount of autonomy.”

Was that so? Atem could picture Seto entering the room, his arrogance radiating from him so powerfully that it pushed people from his path. Just thinking about it was compelling … arousing. His picture of the two of them together only increased the power of the image exponentially. How could it be that everyone else saw them as canceling each other out? And yet … a decision was a decision. Someone had to make it.

Atem looked at Yugi, not quite sure how to respond. The picture Yugi was painting seemed almost hopeless to him. He knew that Yugi was trying to help him understand Seto, but right now he didn't want to hear something so discouraging.

“Remember, Seto wasn't just your priest. You made him pharaoh, and he was pharaoh for a much longer time than you were. You were required to save the world, but he was required to rebuild his nation. Without any of the friends he'd known.”

_I left him._

Atem felt his heart break a little. For the both of them.

* * *

Seto entered his apartment quietly, hoping that Mokuba had already gone to bed and wouldn't hear him. He was stealthily making his way toward his bedroom when he realized that the sour sensation that had been brewing in the pit of his stomach required immediate and decisive relief.

His steps became more swift as he made for his bathroom and found himself in the undignified position of relieving himself orally.

As he brushed his teeth he considered. He was positive that the pizza hadn't been contaminated. Atem had shown no sign of discomfort and …

_No, surely not._

Seto now felt completely healthy now that his stomach had been emptied. Surely it couldn't have been that … kiss … could it? The emotional reaction? He had prepared himself so carefully. Prepared himself for a life free of this sort of emotional entanglement … or …

No. It wasn't possible.

But he was almost sure he'd heard something—was it Atem's voice?—barely whispering …

_or … fulfillment …_

“No …” Seto whispered. Hearing his own voice in the silence, he shook his head vigorously to clear it, rinsed his mouth, and located a peppermint in the candy jar that he kept at the bar for visitors.

As he allowed the sweetly pungent flavor to drive the acrid taste from his mouth, he looked wistfully at the bottles behind the jar and thought, _If only the promise of those liquids to do the same thing for my mind weren't mere lies …_

He turned from the bar. No matter. He didn't have to think about this now. He decided to set the entire evening aside for the moment and get some rest. He had plenty of work ahead of him tomorrow, and he never had any trouble putting things out of his mind when he set his mind to it. After all, he had managed to overcome this obsession once before, hadn't he?

_Now, to bed, and …_

He had almost gotten to the point of heaving a sigh of relief when he heard a knock on the connecting door between the apartments. “Nii-sama? I have the 411 on the catering.”

_Oh. Right._

Seto glanced at his reflection in a mirror across the room, composed his expression as best he could, and said, “Come in and give me the summary.”

Mokuba entered, smiling. “It really wasn't that much. I got full apologies and a large discount. They don't want to lose our business.”

“Good. It's difficult to get decent catering for this large a crowd.”

“Are you all right?”

“Of course, why do you ask?”

“You just seem … how did the tour go with Atem? Didn't he like the park?”

“He loved it, as a matter of fact,” Seto said, managing a smile. “It couldn't have gone better.”

_Or worse._

“Then …” Mokuba scrutinized his brother and realization slowly dawned over his features. “I can't believe it.”

“I don't know what you're getting at, Mokuba.”

“He made a pass at you, didn't he?”

“We're not talking about this.”

“Oh, he definitely made a pass.”

“What, is this the 1940s?”

“Seto, you're not exactly in the sexual mainstream.”

“Why are we still talking about this? Didn't I say we weren't talking about this?”

“Nii-sama …” Mokuba was unwilling to let it go. “I've seen the way he looks at you.”

“Go to bed, please.”

“I want to know how you feel.”

“Go to bed.”

Mokuba sighed. “You know there's someone else I can talk to about this.”

“If you care about me, you won't talk to him about it.”

Mokuba dragged out of the room. “Nii-sama …”

* * *

Mokuba really didn't like the look of his brother. Seto looked so very stressed and Mokuba knew there was nothing he could do about it, no matter whether he knew the cause or not. Worse, Seto hadn't forbidden him to talk to Atem. No, it was …

_If you care about me, you won't talk to him about it._

_If you care about me_. Now if he spoke to Atem about it, Mokuba didn't care how Seto felt. It would be a betrayal. _Why, oh, why did I ask that question?_ Mokuba chided himself. If he hadn't been so impetuous, he would have been free to circle around behind Seto's back. Now he'd boxed himself in. By now he should know better.

And even though Seto didn't say it, Mokuba knew talking to Yugi was out as well. After all, the two had been practically the same person for a long time.

His brother seemed, outwardly, to be the same as always, confident, arrogant, clear about every move … but … of all people, Mokuba was most sensitive to his brother's inner moods.

Most of their acquaintances didn't believe that Seto even had inner moods, but that wasn't true at all. Mokuba observed that even Seto preferred to believe that he was nearly free of emotion. Obviously, Seto did have inner moods and they were frequently quite tempestuous. Obsessive. Mokuba privately theorized that Seto's moods were made all the more powerful by the weight of the lid he pressed down on them to suppress them. After all, any emotion that got through that thick wall had to be something that had grown powerful indeed. Mokuba had observed the danger of being nearby when an eruption occurred often enough to know.

That's why Mokuba so treasured any expression of affection or love that slipped out from under his brother's magnificent facade, no matter how insignificant it might appear to be.

If Atem was introducing an unnecessary strain on his brother, what was Mokuba to do? Or if … if Atem could somehow convince Seto to loosen up his tight rein on his emotions … wouldn't that be a good thing?

_If only he could talk to him!_

“Nii-sama …” Mokuba said, sadly, looking back at the connecting door to his brother's apartments.

He sighed. He didn't expect to get much more sleep than his brother tonight.

**Chapter notes ...**

[Original notes preserved] I've expanded my notes a bit to include some character notes in case my last chapter confused some folks. Perhaps I motored through a little quickly? Of course, all that left Atem confused too. Hopefully, I'm not confusing people further with this! I'm going to go ahead and put my character notes (TMI, man!) [at the end] for those who are either confused (God, I hope not!) or interested.

_Seto entered his apartment_ : I know, lack of exposition there, but I couldn't figure out where to squeeze it in elegantly. The brothers aren't staying at their mansion but at a penthouse in town. More about that later. Gah, bad writing ...

_Did you ever consider offering him your help?_ : If you're thinking Noah's Virtual World, Yugi took the lead there. In Duelists' Kingdom, they set out to help Mokuba with Seto incapacitated.

_the sour sensation that had been brewing in the pit of his stomach_ : Think this is a little extreme? This particular sequence is based on the experiences of a real person. And if anyone would think they're just fine and then have their subconscious tell them something through their body, it would be Seto.

Boring character notes:

Yeah. Well, the problem Seto sees is the main problem that I think a lot of fans would see with Prideshipping in general. We have two alpha males trying to find a way of making a relationship work. That's difficult in any relationship between two headstrong people, whether the genders are different or not. And these two characters, who both have a strong drive to win ... I'd say there's a strong correlation to a need to have your own way/take the lead/make the decisions.

Seto would be more sensitive to this problem because he's had his will thwarted far more frequently than Atem. As a prince, Atem wouldn't have been told no often and only been frustrated by the intrusion of reality. Later, as a spirit, when told no, he most often won his way by dueling. Seto, on the other hand, was forced to do as Gozaburo pleased until he won his freedom. And after he was free, he ran into the brick wall that was Atem. Hm.

And then there's the thing about if he became Atem's other and ended up “one of the gang” and found himself disappearing into it. He needs to be special.

So pride and the need for self-determination is a major issue. Now I'm going to spoil my own story slightly, so if you don't want to know anything, _stop reading this paragraph now_. However, as I got further along with the story, I was left wondering if I'd given it the correct title because, as usual, Seto has a deeper issue lurking under the more obvious issue of pride/control. If you think about it, you may not have too much trouble figuring out what it is.

I just deleted a huge paragraph that went into even more detail about other aspects, but I'm hoping that these things more or less explain themselves through the story. If you think the motivation I set forth doesn't make sense, don't hesitate to [comment] and call me on it!


	19. Picking up the Pieces

Seto woke with a start, feeling disoriented. At first he had no awareness of who he was or what his circumstances were, only the strong, penetrating sensation of having to …

_having to …?_

having to _what?_

Do something? Get something? Find something?

It was maddening, but it wasn't an unfamiliar feeling. He knew it came from some unremembered dream, maybe a fragment of sensation. When he was a child, he had woken up with these sensations all the time. Eventually, he wrote them off, thinking they were probably similar to night terrors, only nobody even bothered to write them up for the literature because they were so common and banal.

Parents don't care if kids wake up wondering, only if they wake up screaming.

Of course, Gozaburo wouldn't have cared if Seto had woken up screaming, either.

The dreams (sensations, or whatever they were) ebbed and flowed as he grew. Eventually, he decided they partly represented responses to stress—the loss of his parents, his treatment at the hands of Gozaburo, the trauma of Atem's penalty games.

If only he knew what the dreams were about … or if he actually did dream at these times. It could just be that he awoke with a feeling. The problem was … so often … too often … the feelings he awoke with included some overwhelming emotion—most often, sadness.

It bothered Seto a great deal to have the feeling of having left something undone, but worse was the feeling of reasonless sadness.

That was just ridiculous.

Seto wasn't the sort of person to wallow in emotion. He had little patience with people who felt sorry for themselves and even less with any unproductive emotions he might feel himself. Sadness, self-pity, and unbridled compassion were the hallmarks of the weak as far as he was concerned.

Still …

There was a knock at the door. “Nii-sama?”

Seto groaned inwardly. He didn't want Mokuba to witness his confusion … his weakness. Mokuba was concerned about him. That wouldn't do at all. It was Seto's job to look after Mokuba. He couldn't have Mokuba worried about him. Things had been unsettled enough recently without this. “I'm dressing, Mokuba. Is there a problem?” He listened to his voice carefully. It wasn't perfectly light and happy, but not too moody.

“You're OK, then? You're up a little later than usual.”

“Just fine, Mokuba. I overslept, that's all.” He cringed a little. It was true, but so uncharacteristic of him, and just a little embarrassing.

“OK. I'll meet you in the dining room. Let's go to the office together.” Seto decoded this as “I want to take a good look at you to make sure you're OK.”

Seto headed for a brief shower with a sigh. As the warm water hit him, he wondered what he possibly could have forgotten or need to do.

* * *

Mokuba watched his brother carefully as he entered their dining area. He had the cook prepare one of Seto's favorite breakfast dishes. He sighed. His brother still looked distracted and stressed.

“What's the plan for today?” he asked, trying to keep his voice bright. “My assistant told me that the planning meeting for Virtuosity had been rescheduled.”

“Yes, an important interview was scheduled at KaibaLand Domino. There's a number of upcoming charity events there that one or both of us will need to attend to, and there's a few major publicity events and announcements. We'll meet with the Publicity Department about that tomorrow. But that's already on your calendar. What do you really want to ask me?”

“It should be … I've waited for you to be …”

“You want to ask me about him, then.”

Mokuba sighed. “Yes. I know he's been trying to see you. Now he's trying to see me.”

“You don't have to see him.”

“I can't. You don't want me to talk to him. About that.”

“That's right.”

“But you won't talk to me. Come on, Nii-sama, who else are you going to talk to?”

Seto sighed. “I just … I just don't think talking about it will do any good.” He all but rolled his eyes, then went on. “He wants … to be my … boyfriend … or something … but …”

“And how do you feel?”

“About what?”

“About being with him, what else? Nii-sama, is this that hard?”

“Just that …” Seto sighed and looked toward the window, as though trying to picture it. “It's … tempting. But it isn't practical, Mokuba.”

“Why not? If you care abou—”

“You too? Is everyone a romantic with their head in the clouds? Does no one consider the real-world implications? It's Atem. Of all the people in the world, he's the one person who has as much need as I do to be right, to lead the way, and to win. Could you imagine what would happen if we got into an argument? If we had to make a joint decision? No, I just …” He looked at his hand, which had balled into a fist around his chopsticks. He forced himself to relax and place them on his plate.

Mokuba was frowning, thinking about it. “So … it's just how he is, then?”

“It's how we _both_ are.”

“So what are you going to do, then?”

“What do you mean?” Seto shrugged, but it didn't seem natural to Mokuba. “I refused his advances. So things just go on as normal. That's all. Come on, Mokuba, we're late. Let's go.”

Mokuba took a look at Seto's plate. He had barely eaten. Nevertheless, he followed his brother to the limo and said nothing.

_Normal?_ Things didn't feel normal. Seto wasn't eating much, even for him, and he didn't eat that much for someone his size to start with. He trailed his brother, staring at his broad shoulders and thinking about how much effort it had been for him to come to the happy equanimity that they had enjoyed.

And Atem had walked in and messed that up in a few short weeks.

Atem. Atem, of course. A conversation that he'd had not too long ago with Yugi stood out in his mind. _My brother and Atem … Their lives are all … tangled together._ Sparks of jealousy vied with drops of compassion within him.

_Nii-sama said I couldn't talk to Atem about what happened between them, but I can talk to him about that_. He looked at his brother's determined face and set his own jaw. _Well, it might not improve anything, but at the very least it'll make me feel better_.

* * *

“You shouldn't have come here,” said Mokuba. He got up from behind his desk in the COO's office, mimicking his brother's habit of folding his arms over his chest.

“I only came here because Seto won't see me and you wouldn't answer my calls,” said Atem. “I know Kaiba's at the park doing publicity now, so …”

“I won't talk to you—”

“Do you do everything Seto tells you to do?”

“I respect him. I respect his wishes.” Mokuba turned on Atem and frowned. “Whatever happened, he barely talks about it, even with me. But he's upset, and you're the main cause. He doesn't want me to talk with you about this … thing … between you. But I'm willing to hear how you feel as long as you don't talk about Seto. I'm not interceding for you. But I do want to say something to you.”

“Mokuba—”

“You can have your say after I'm done—as long as you hold it in check.” Mokuba turned and led Atem through a little hallway onto a large, covered balcony.

“I didn't even know this was here,” Atem marveled.

“We don't exactly advertise it,” Mokuba said. “These are available to top executives. But I want privacy for this conversation. Sit.” He indicated a small table. “Would you like some tea?”

Atem didn't like the way things were going. Mokuba's manner was uncharacteristically curt. “I think I'll do without for now,” he said warily, sitting down.

“Don't get me wrong,” Mokuba said, sitting down in the chair opposite Atem. “I'm grateful for everything you've done for us. You helped bring Seto back to me. I don't know whether that would have happened without you, but—”

Mokuba paused, looking down at his hands on the table for a long moment. Atem waited, allowing Mokuba to collect his thoughts and decide where to begin. “Did you know that Yugi told me recently that Seto is the reincarnation of someone you knew in Egypt … your priest, I guess? He said you found out right before Battle City.”

Atem tried to cover his surprise. This was not what he had expected. “Yugi hadn't told me he'd told you that, no.”

“Don't you think I have a right to know that? —And don't tell me it's Seto's decision to tell me because you know that he doesn't like to discuss that sort of thing at all.”

“I—I suppose, we thought that, after all, since Seto isn't willing to acknowledge it, it doesn't really affect you, and considering your age and all you'd been through—”

“All I'd been through?! That should make you more likely to tell me! And you think it doesn't affect me?! You think that this—” he waved his arms around him “—doesn't affect me? And even if it just affects Seto, or even if it doesn't really affect him that much but it's even just _about_ Seto, that it doesn't matter to me?!”

Mokuba stood up and started pacing. “Don't you get it by now? We're not average brothers who grow up, drift apart, call each other occasionally, and maybe see each other on holidays. Seto gave up his _childhood_ for me. When our parents died and our relatives abandoned us, he vowed to be a father to me. And, yeah, maybe some of the decisions he made trying to fulfill that promise weren't the most honorable way to go, but he made those decisions because he was trying to keep us together and make my life easier … And he paid a huge price because of the sacrifices that he made …”

Tears were welling up in Mokuba's large eyes now, and he banged his fists on the table in frustration because of them. “So I'm going to stick by him … no matter what. _And I deserve to know who my brother is._ Don't you agree?”

“When you put it like that, it's hard to disagree with you,” Atem allowed. “All I can say is there just didn't seem to be an opportunity to discuss that with you.”

Mokuba frowned. “You've only had _five years_ ,” he groused. “But never mind about that. It explains a lot. The rivalry, the tension between you two. But basically, what you're saying is he came back after three thousand years because you were trapped in that … Yugi's pendant-thing … to help you.”

Mokuba sat down again. “Ever since Yugi told me about that, I've been thinking about what that meant.” Mokuba put his elbows on the table and rested his head on his fists, working it out as he spoke. “This means … _this_ … means … Seto's been at war with himself his whole life. He came in with this big purpose … but look at his personality. He doesn't put a lot of stock in souls and destiny … and he has me and … now … his business to worry about: a lot of practical things. So he pretends that the other things don't matter, but somehow he ends up walking that path anyway … because he _does_ have this—this … _destiny_. He's unwilling to examine his motives … for going to such lengths to collect the Blue Eyes cards, to involve himself in your business … And now, you …” He shook his head. “You think it's just about whether he cares about you, and about his stubborn pride. It's more than that.”

“I have an idea how he feels.”

“ _Shut up!_ I don't want you to talk about him to me. I'm courting trouble as is.”

“You said I could say—”

“How you feel. Don't talk about Seto. I just want to say, you get angry enough when other people fail to acknowledge Seto—”

“You're saying I don't show Seto proper respect?!” Atem couldn't believe it.

Mokuba looked at his watch. “If you want to say something, could you be brief? I don't want Seto to run into you.”

Atem stared at Mokuba. Did he really believe what he had said? “I don't understand you,” he said finally. Didn't Mokuba see that he loved Seto?

“Think about it,” Mokuba said. “Preferably, on your way out.”

* * *

“Atem,” Yugi said, “Let's take a walk.” He grabbed Atem's hand and yanked him through the apartment door and into the elevator.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere. Anywhere. I don't care. You just need to be out of the apartment and out moving for a little while. And you need to listen to me.”

“To you.”

“Yes, to me.” The bell rang for the ground floor and the doors opened. Yugi stopped talking for a moment as he hauled Atem through the lobby and through the front doors, proceeding to stride down the sidewalk with a purpose.

Atem was a little surprised. Yugi rarely showed such initiative, especially with regard to Atem, but he allowed himself to be steered. He was depressed and angry and, well, moving sounded like an excellent idea. Too bad it sounded like it might come with a scolding.

“Why are you so persistent about this?” Atem asked as he walked alongside Yugi.

He sighed. “Remember how things were in the beginning? How things were for me? How they were for you? When I found the puzzle?”

Atem didn't know what answer he was expecting, but this wasn't it. “Uh, you said you had no friends, you feel you owe that to me … I-I have—” He was going to say that he had trouble believing that Yugi could possibly have trouble making friends, but Yugi cut him off.

“Exactly, and what were you like, when you first awoke?”

Atem tried to remember. It had seemed … He had barely been conscious at first. His first memories were of danger. When Yugi was threatened, it was like a fresh nightmare disturbing a long, long familiar nightmare. But no. Atem frowned as he walked along. It was like the long familiar nightmare had finally been disturbed by a friendly dream, the fragile, sweet respite of a caring heart. And when someone threatened that respite— “I … I don't remember much,” he admitted, “but I remember that I needed to protect you. I was … I felt … vengeful.”

“Yes. You had a tendency to go as far as the people you fought. Maybe farther than some.”

“You have to admit that some of them would go pretty far, Yugi. Even try to kill us. But you … I have you to thank for saving me. For rehabilitating me …” He stopped, trying to remember how he felt at first, what he felt toward Seto when he first inflicted Penalty Games upon him.

“That's not you, Atem,” Yugi said. “That's not what I'm getting at. I'm just saying—”

“I was broken then, from the imprisonment. I'd … _prefer_ … to forget that. You saved me.”

He frowned. _Who did Seto have? Gozaburo? Did he feel that it was somehow necessary to trap himself with his own monster? He had Mokuba, but Mokuba was trying to emulate him. It was a different situation._

“And you saved _me_. But we never could have been there for each other if …” Yugi let the thought hang. _If it weren't for Set—for Seto_. “I just—I think I owe Kaiba. I've just always liked him. Despite everything. I always will, no matter what happens between you two.”

Yugi started walking again. At last he slowed when he found the shady neighborhood that he was looking for. Then he looked at Atem anxiously. “Was Mokuba of any help?”

Atem sighed heavily. “You didn't tell me that you spoke with him, Yugi. You might have mentioned that he knows about Set now.”

“Oh,” Yugi's hand went to the back of his head as he shuffled his feet nervously. “I suppose I should have known that might come up in conversation.”

“Come up in conv—!” Atem sputtered. “He practically accused me of withholding vital facts about his brother. I might as well have known that Seto was hiding a fatal disease or something.”

“Um, yeah … maybe.”

“So now I have both the Kaibas mad at me.” He scowled in frustration. “Any recommendations?”

“Can I say I'm sorry?”

Atem sighed. “You probably were right to do it, but your timing is lousy beyond belief.”

“I really don't think working on Mokuba is the best idea, Atem. He likes you a great deal, but Seto would see right through it and resent your using him. Not only that, if worse came to worse, Mokuba would always choose Seto over you, and that goes for his wishes too. You'd eventually end up having to repair that relationship too.”

Atem sighed. “You're probably right.”

“You know I am.”

“So?”

“You think I have _all_ the answers?”

Atem sat down on a bench and looked at the KaibaCorp tower. “I was pretty young still when my spirit was trapped. And, you know, you might think that royalty has its privileges, but when everybody says yes to you, you just don't have any experience with people saying no. So, what romantic experience I have is …”

“Easy?”

“You could say that. What little I remember of it, anyway.” Atem frowned. “And really, I think that events happened so quickly that it wasn't all that extensive.”

Yugi grabbed Atem's arm. “Do you remember anything about Set?”

Atem gave Yugi a sad look and said, “What I remember beyond the World of Memories that we played the game in is pretty fragmentary. The picture of Set from the World of Memories is a composite of what I and the thief Bakura remember. The thief didn't have a lot of contact with him, so the picture is primarily my memory of him.” Atem sighed heavily. “I guess it's not really Set at all.”

Yugi slid his hand down Atem's arm until he was holding his hand. “It's Set … as you knew him. Don't sell your memory short, Atem.”

“But—”

“It's what you have. What does anyone have of the past, anyway, Atem? Just memories. You have your memories and Kaiba.”

Atem tried to laugh to keep from crying. “I don't have Kaiba, that's my problem.”

“So, have you already given up?”

“Hardly, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it. But one thing's for sure. I can't expect Seto to talk to me. I have to take the fight to him.”

“Atta boy.”

**Chapter notes …**

I'm hoping that Mokuba's annoyance with Atem makes sense here. Poor Atem—he's really taking it, isn't he?

_Seto is the reincarnation of someone you knew in Egypt_ : You'd think that he'd have heard about this during Battle City, wouldn't you? But he wasn't present when Isis shows Seto the stone tablets and gives him Obelisk. During the helicopter ride (anime “filler”) to the seminal duel between (real) Yugi and Jounouchi, Atem reveals his own identity as the spirit of a nameless pharaoh, but says nothing of the other figure on the tablet. Even after Atem's duel with Seto, when Isis quotes the poem for the dead and tells Seto that he built the duel tower “with his soul,” she doesn't reveal his purported connection in front of Mokuba. What she said would probably be confusing and mysterious to him, but the day was certainly eventful enough and full of enough upset for him to forget to pursue this item, and Seto would be reluctant enough to provide enlightenment, anyway.

Just a note on this: I thought it was a little weird that he seemed to be left out of this entirely and I think he would be miffed about that when he caught on … although he wouldn't be surprised to find that Seto didn't tell him.

_you get angry enough when other people fail to acknowledge Seto_ : … as in just about loses it. All the way back to Duelists' Kingdom. If he feels that a duelist is mocking Kaiba, it really sets him off (think ventriloquist/channeler, Pegasus, Noah, etc.). (Why prideshipping …? Hm …)

_I felt … vengeful_ : For just _how_ vengeful and _how_ far Atem went at first, see the pre-Duelist Kingdom manga. ( _ **Spoilers!**_ Kills an entire gang; of course, they _were_ about to torture Jounouchi to death … Challenges Kaiba to a shadow duel for stealing, then traps his soul within a card to “experience death.”)


	20. Why I'm Here

_Dining at the Parisian Plate, eh?_

“I haven't decided yet,” Atem told his waiter. “Please bring me a dry martini.” Ordering a drink should keep them happy for a while, he thought as he eyed his target surreptitiously over the top of his menu.

The Kaiba brothers were in a private dining room. Atem wondered why they bothered. Were they talking over business, or was Seto afraid he'd show up? He'd taken the trouble to conceal his hair under a large hat and wear dark glasses, but if Seto were really looking for him, Atem was positive he'd be spotted.

Isono and a bodyguard, as usual, at different tables, excellently positioned to bar him from the door. Atem smiled to himself. _Oh, Seto, don't you know how I love a challenge?_

He scanned the room quickly. _There_. There was a fan who'd obviously noticed the Kaiba brothers' presence in the restaurant and was eyeing them persistently, all the while speaking of it to his companion.

He found the disposable cell phone that he had picked up on the way in and dialed a number. “Hello, KaibaCorp? Yeah, uh, my brother heard that Kaiba would be at the Parisian Plate today and I'm worried about what might happen. Yes, uh, he's unstable and he has some sort of, uh, fixation on—right, you got it. Yes, he's about 167 centimeters tall, short black hair. No, thank you … and, please be gentle.”

_Sorry, dude, it's all for the cause. Seto would thank you if he knew, so … you should be glad._

Just then, Isono's cell rang. After a brief conversation, he motioned to the bodyguard, then moved toward the table. Atem smiled. The bodyguard should actually be less trouble than Isono, he thought. He dropped the menu and sprinted for the door. The bodyguard, taken by surprise, made to block the door, but Atem, small and swift as he was, tripped him up with a well-aimed glass and ducked under his hands.

Once inside the private room, he smoothed his clothing, doffed his cap and glasses and smoothly walked forward as though nothing happened. “Seto …” he said, sitting down at Seto's table without asking, “can't we talk about this?”

Mokuba got up. “I just remembered,” he said. “I forgot to talk to Mr Tanaka about scheduling the Phase II planning meetings.” He pulled out his cell phone and headed for the exit.

Isono and the other man were by this time running in, but Seto motioned to them that it was all right, then he looked at Atem coolly and continued to eat his salad. “Really, Atem,” he commented in between bites, “one might think you were stalking me. You've made Mokuba uncomfortable. But since you're here, would you like to order something?”

“No, Seto. I need to talk to you. Please, I'm not trying to force myself on you.”

Seto set down his fork and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he said, “I understand that … and I understand your feelings. More than you know.” He set his piercing gaze on Atem then and continued, “That's exactly why I feel the way I do.”

“All I know is that we both care about the other.”

Seto continued to stare directly into Atem's eyes, his gaze witheringly probing. “I won't bow to you, Atem. And I won't have you groveling at my feet.”

“Isn't there any common ground for us?”

He shrugged. “The field of battle …”

Seto picked up his fork again and delicately conveyed a bite of salad to his mouth.

“Seto …” He gazed back into his friend's impenetrable blue eyes, wondering how he could possibly convince him to give it a chance. “I know you don't like me to talk about supernatural things … or ancient Egypt, and I thought I was prepared to move on to the afterlife, but I won the duel with Yugi. Only recently I realized the reason why.”

“You won because you are the best duelist, Atem.”

“No, Seto, Yugi's quite capable of beating me. No, the reason I won … I now realize. I felt that I would be joining my comrades from my former life on the other side, but someone was missing—”

“Atem, you know that—”

“You won't recognize any connection with any person who lived thousands of years ago. I realize that. But I feel that you have a connection. And, more importantly, you're still in the world. And I couldn't bear to leave a world with you still in it.

“Seto, you're the reason I'm alive. I realize that now and, if we can't find some way to work this out, I don't know how …” Out of words, he leaned on the table, head in hands. Why did Seto have to be the most frustrating and stubborn person in the universe? Why did he have to be the only person in the universe worth having?

The silence wore on and Atem began to fear that Seto planned to simply eat his lunch in complete silence, then leave, torturing Atem with his indifference. That would be classic, wouldn't it? Jounouchi would have a field day. He didn't bother looking up. Let Seto see how miserable he was. If that made him happy, so be it. Let him have that victory.

But Seto wasn't torturing him. After a lengthy silence, he finally said, “I won't be your excuse.”

“My—You're not my excuse! How …?”

“It's not like you to depend on someone else to set your goals.”

“You _are_ my goal … currently. Therein lies my paradox.”

“Look at me.”

Atem sighed and looked up at his companion. Seto was gazing at him seriously. “Do you know how I felt when you decided to leave? I couldn't _tell_ you how I felt. That's how. And … then, you refused … you refused to let me help you—duel you. It was …” He trailed off, seemingly unable to find the appropriate word. “When—when it looked like Yugi might win, I—” He stopped, his voice catching just slightly. For a brief second, it seemed as though he decided he didn't want to finish, but then he simply said, “I wanted to leave.”

Atem hadn't thought about how much that must have hurt him. He'd talked it through with Anzu, Jounouchi, and his other friends, but never Seto. Seto always felt other people had the right to make their own decisions. And he never expressed sadness. He'd said all this so simply, but Atem could only stare at the man before him, attempting to comprehend how difficult these things were for him to say. “Seto, I—”

“Don't.” He waved the comment away with a flick of his hand. “Now you say I'm your goal? I honestly don't know how to take that.”

“No, Seto, you agreed to listen to my point of view. I'm listening to your point of view.”

“Are you?”

“Yes. I need to understand you better. I need to be able to give you what you need.”

“And still get what you want.”

“Damn it, Seto, you're not an object. I don't see you as a conquest. This isn't a business negotiation. Don't you understand that I want to _be_ with you?”

“Atem … I'm not certain that I'll be able to give you what you want. You don't understand what … _being_ with you entails for me.”

“No, I don't. To me, it's simple. Either you want this, or you don't. If it's only negotiating around our egos …” Atem sat back and crossed his arms. “I propose that we decide major decisions by duel or game and minor ones by chance—say, a coin flip.”

“Accepted. But …”

“Now what?”

“Things were going so well. I'm not certain I want things to change.”

“Seto, I know that you felt something—”

Seto placed his utensils on the table, laying his hands next to them, and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he pierced Atem once again with his inscrutable blue gaze. “Atem, feeling something isn't the problem. I want to retain some semblance of … control.”

_He's afraid of the magnitude of his passion?_

Atem's mouth went dry as he waited for Seto to continue.

“You really don't remember why I left for America, do you?”

“It was your anger … the poison from—from Gozaburo,” Atem said. “But that doesn't have anything to do with this.”

Seto sighed. “And my obsession? My need to beat you? What of that?”

“You're not like that anymore.”

“Right, Atem. That's so easy for you to say. You don't have to wrestle the monster.” He scowled and stared down at his plate. It was so obviously difficult for Seto to express that Atem instinctively reached out for his hand, but Seto snatched it away. “How do you know that I couldn't become like that again? I told you that my obsession was with _you_ , Atem. Doesn't that concern you at all?”

“I'd be lying if I said I was entering into this with no worries at all, but I think that what we could be together is more than worth the risk. Haven't you thought about that?”

“I've been trying not to.”

“Seto, I know you have issues. Can't we deal with them as they come up?”

“I … I like the way I am now. Mokuba likes the way we are. We've been happy, building the KaibaCorp that we've always wanted. When I consider what you've proposed, I don't think changing things is going to work out. Can't we just be friends?”

“Since when are you afraid of the future, Seto?”

“I _plan_ my future!” he snapped.

_There's the problem, Atem thought. He feels like he's losing control._

“OK, then. For now, let's just keep it platonic and see what happens.”

_A lot can happen, right?_

“So … friends again?”

“Right, Seto. Friends.”

“I haven't had a lot of experience with that, so—”

“I can help you with that, Seto.”

“Friends.”

But Atem couldn't help remembering what Seto had said.

_I want to retain some semblance of … control._

The thought excited and intrigued Atem. _Fine, let him take it slow. I'll tap into that passion sooner or later._ He let the thought roll around in his mind.

But not without a twinge of guilt.

**Chapter notes:**

If you're worried, stop. I'm not going to bore you by backtracking through a lot of friendship stuff again. I don't think Atem could take it. (Neither could I, frankly!)

Re-posted response to comments: About the abrupt transition from Mokuba/Yugi, yep, I guess that was a little sudden, huh?

Think Atem wouldn't be so intentionally manipulative … of a friend, anyway? I wonder, if he felt it was what the friend wanted down deep.

_Seto set down his fork_ : Western-style dining.


	21. Yielding

The days that followed seemed like the days that had preceded the tour of KaibaLand Domino. Seemed like. Yet Atem had the sensation as though he was living in a film that had been reversed because instead of becoming closer and closer to Seto, now, very slowly, inexorably, it felt as though the reverse was happening. Now, very gradually, Atem felt the distance between them increase.

It was intolerable.

Atem still consulted for KaibaCorp, and worked closely with Seto during that time. They still met at the KaibaLand Arcade and the new KaibaLand Domino, but less and less frequently as Seto began working in earnest on the Virtuosity system.

More and more, Seto seemed to have his guard firmly up and his mask tightly secured.

Atem, Seto, and Mokuba stood around a table looking over the latest plans for KaibaLand Rio, their next park. “… So,” continued Atem, “that's why I suggest moving the arcade to this location, here, and the main restaurant area to this location.”

“That would make room for the solid-vision entertainment center to be moved here,” said Seto. “I think that's a good suggestion. Mokuba, have you—”

“Already noted, Nii-sama. I'll have the architect revise the plans this afternoon.”

“Good.”

Mokuba quickly rolled up the plans and scooted out of the meeting room.

Atem felt the atmosphere change a little as Mokuba exited. He felt a little relief, yet an increase in anxiety. He wanted to talk to Seto about things that had nothing to do with business.

“Atem,” Seto said, “as you know, I'll be working on development for Virtuosity and dealing with publicity for KaibaLand Domino for the next little while, so there won't be very much for us to go over. What I'd like to do is have you work with my Duel Disk team to ensure that the next version doesn't have any snags in it. The first prototypes are ready. I want you to make sure that it's perfect before we put it into production.”

“Sure, Seto, I'd be happy to,” Atem said.

“Excellent. I'll have my assistant schedule it.”

Atem left the room feeling that both of them felt somehow dissatisfied.

* * *

Atem met Yugi on the strand. As usual, he was running late, but Yugi had arrived on time and was waiting patiently. He was sitting on a bench, looking out at the ocean and sipping a Pepsi. “So …?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Tell me all about your latest heartache,” Yugi smiled sympathetically as Atem settled in next to him.

Atem sighed. “It's that obvious?”

“No, but you wanted to meet me here instead of a restaurant. Besides, Kaiba's involved, so it's inevitable. And with this latest wrinkle …”

“Yeah, well, that's it in a nutshell.”

“OK, so fess up. What's the problem?”

“You know how I thought that eventually Seto would want to … you know …”

“Take things in a more romantic direction?”

“Er, yeah. Well, that hasn't happened. And that's …”

“It's put some pressure on you?”

“Make that enormous pressure. Like the unending torment of the damned.” Atem gripped his pant legs at the thought. “I _want_ him, Yugi. I … I don't know if I can go on like this.”

Yugi turned bright red. “Uh … have you discussed this with Seto?”

“No.”

“Well, why the hell not? He's the only one who can do anything about this! I can't help you.”

“For one thing, it's gotten so I hardly ever see him outside of work.”

“And why is that?”

“He's hard at work on Virtuosity now and there's all the publicity for KaibaLand Domino. He's even doing a TV special about it!”

“Oh, yeah, that's right. Thanks for reminding me! Jounouchi and I were going to get together especially to watch it.”

“You're welcome. I think. But that doesn't help.”

“Oh, I don't think you need me to tell you what to do.”

“I need to make an opportunity if he's not giving me one.”

“Bingo. So what's holding you back?”

“I guess I've been a little afraid of talking to Seto for fear that I'd just make things worse, but I think things are bad enough at this point. If things keep going the way they are, I might as well give up entirely. I have to do something. It's like we're not even friends anymore. He's so stiff and formal.”

“How about you?”

“Me too. I just … I don't know what to say to him anymore. Not after …” Atem sighed.

“Then you just have to re-open the discussion, that's all. Don't be so hesitant. It's only Kaiba, after all. You've read him the riot act often enough. What can he do?”

_Right, Aibou, easy for you to say._

* * *

Mokuba had entered Seto's office unannounced and plopped into a chair in front of his desk.

“So,” he said. “Atem.”

“And?”

Mokuba sighed, then said, “Ever since you kind of … mended your friendship … and started working together again, things haven't been the same.”

“Is there a question in there somewhere, Mokuba?”

“I was mad at him for upsetting you, but you were willing to make up with him, so obviously he means enough to you that you don't want to shut him out. And you're still not really happy. I can tell. I know you like him, Nii-sama. I mean, _really_ like him. Why can't you just—?”

“What, pounce on him like a cat in heat?”

“Uh, not quite what I had in mind, but something like that.”

“Mokuba … Yes, I like him and … there's that, but I just get this feeling that if I let things happen between us … It would just ruin everything.”

“Your friendship.”

“Yes. Our friendship. As much as I've said that didn't matter to me, it means a great deal. Everything, in fact.” He threw Mokuba a piercing glance. “And if you tell Atem what I just said, I'll punish you severely.”

“Riiiight,” Mokuba replied. Seto always had difficulty punishing his brother. “But if you have these other … feelings … about Atem, doesn't it make it hard for you to just be friends?”

“No. I just focus on what we're doing. For example, the plans for KaibaLand Rio. Or, say, if we've planned a leisure activity, whatever that is.”

“But things felt strained, right?”

“Just give it time.”

“Maybe Atem's not as good at focusing as you are. Are you sure that there's anything to worry about, Nii-sama? This ego thing? Tch.”

“Don't downplay it. Couples break up over far more insignificant things than that every day.”

“But Nii-sama, if you both know about the risk and you love each other, what's the worst that could happen?”

“I don't know, but whenever I think about it, I get this feeling. It's like—it's like the me before we came to America. I—I don't want to go back to feeling like that—being like that—acting like that, ever again.”

“But, Nii-sama! That was all about Gozaburo. Atem has nothing to do with our past or with Gozaburo.”

“No, he doesn't.”

But there was something odd in the tone of his brother's voice and the faraway look in his eyes that left Mokuba wondering.

* * *

It wasn't a consulting day, but Atem stopped by KaibaCorp in the afternoon to see Seto anyway only to discover that he was taking a rare day off. Oddly enough, he hadn't taken Mokuba with him and he found said young man busily overseeing the operation of the company in his brother's absence. Mokuba told Atem that he could find Seto at their apartments getting some mental rest.

Atem hadn't been to the Kaiba brothers' apartments and felt a little trepidation upon going up there. Apparently, the Kaibas had arranged for luxury apartments near KaibaCorp not only for the convenience, but also to avoid living at the mansion where they had grown up under such unpleasant circumstances. It had been simple enough since they were the KC Executive Suite Apartments. Mokuba sent him around to pick up dinner for fear that Seto would forget to eat without the reminder.

The doorman welcomed him in and sent him right up, saying Kaiba Mokuba had called ahead.

“I didn't expect to see you today,” Seto said upon opening the door.

“I wanted to speak with you.”

“Come on in. Mokuba called. He said you've brought dinner with you.”

“Yes. Nothing fancy. Mokuba sent me for katsudon. You're under strict instructions to eat,” Atem smiled as he slipped out of his shoes.

Seto allowed himself a slight smirk. “So I hear.” Seto showed Atem to the dining room in the common area of their apartments, and said, “What's so urgent that you had to make a special trip?”

“I wouldn't exactly call it urgent, but it is something that has come to the forefront of my mind and I don't want to let it slide.”

Seto nodded. Atem assumed the gesture was in appreciation of Atem's need for efficiency. That, at least, was something Seto could empathize with.

Atem began unpacking dinner onto the table.

Seto put down two place settings and gracefully seated himself behind one of them. Atem took a moment to take in the sight of him moving against the cityscape visible through the picture windows behind them in the dining area. He detected traces of pink in the clouds and hints of turquoise in the blue of the sky and thought, _Is the sun beginning to set already?_ He could definitely get used to this. The apartments were informal with a pleasant, cozy dining area, unlike the Kaiba mansion, with its huge formal dining room lined floor-to-ceiling with dark paneling.

Atem sat.

“It's lately occurred to me that although we had hoped to continue our friendship as we had before, uh, before you showed me KaibaLand Domino, I've experienced more and more distance between us.” Atem groaned inwardly at the feeling of formality that his words engendered in his mind. He rushed on, wincing at how lame he felt his words were as he said them. “Wouldn't you agree?”

Seto looked back at Atem almost quizzically, an eyebrow visibly cocked beneath his heavy bangs. “You seem ill at ease,” he observed.

“You think? We try to move on as we were and ignore how we feel about each other. But things have changed between us. We can't just will ourselves to be friends. _Just_ friends.”

“I don't want to talk about this,” Seto said.

“Seto, we have to talk about this.”

“You have to talk about this. I don't want to. I'm happy with the way things are.”

“No. You're not. I think you're avoiding your own feelings.”

“My feelings? I feel uncomfortable with this conversation. And I have work to do.” He stood up.

“You always have work to do. And you use that to avoid facing uncomfortable things … like feelings. Stop moving and sit down.”

“Give me one good reason why I should.”

“All right, how about this one. You're not really happy. You're just OK with things.”

“OK with things! You dare to say you know how I—”

“I think you want what I want, but you don't think that it'll work. You think it will turn into a big emotional meltdown and you won't know how to deal with that.”

“You just gave me a reason not to talk to you, Atem.”

“But you want to talk to me. You've given me this much time. Just … just sit down. We have the entire evening to ourselves. If you want, we can just … we can just go for a long walk or something. I just … Can't I just have your time? Just talk to me.”

“You want—” Seto looked undecided. “You want to talk me into …”

“I promise, I won't try to coerce you into anything. But … you want this.”

“Stop telling me what I want. But I feel like you're turning this into a battle of wills.”

“I don't mean to. I just …” He sighed and changed direction. “Then I need you to understand what you want. You can tell me about it. Can't you just talk with me for a little while?”

Reluctantly, Seto sat down. “What I want?” Seto smirked, but it looked a little like a grimace. “I want to feel like I'm in control of my own life, that's all.”

Atem stared at Seto, astonished. “But you are. Now more than ever. And I would never do anything to—”

“Not knowingly.” Seto turned his gaze toward the view and stared over the horizon. “But it might be …”

“I don't understand. Please tell me why you feel this way. Why you think—Is it just that you think I'll try to impose my will on you?”

Seto sighed. “There's that, but I can always refuse to go along. I'm not sure I understand this other thing.” He shook his head. “I don't think I want to.”

“But if it's keeping us apart, I want to understand it and deal with it.”

“I feel like I've already dealt with it successfully and I don't want to have to deal with it again. It was difficult enough the first time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I—I'm not sure,” Seto said, shrugging, but Atem didn't quite believe him, thinking that Seto understood himself better than he wanted to admit. But for the first time in days it felt like Seto was talking with him candidly and that in itself was a huge relief. Atem decided to let it go for a little while. “But there is something …”

“You can ask me anything you want, Seto.”

“OK, fine. Here's something that has always bothered me. Why didn't you choose me to duel you? In Egypt?”

Atem stared at Seto. That wasn't a question he'd expected. What's more, he couldn't answer it.

“It's a simple, straightforward question.”

“It isn't as simple as you think it is.”

“Isn't it?”

“No.”

“Then why don't you explain it to me? You're the one who likes to talk things out.”

Hung on his own petard.

“You thought I'd lose, didn't you?” Seto prompted.

“That's not it at all! In fact—”

“Well, it couldn't be that you were afraid that I'd win. That was the whole point, right?”

“No, it was—”

“Well?”

Atem sat still, mystified. All he had known, then, was that it was completely obvious that he couldn't duel Seto under those circumstances. Alone, without his aibou's support, without any cause outside his own. He would have to … “If I dueled you at that point … I would have had to deal with everything that stands between us, Seto. Including things you aren't willing to recognize.”

_This was the last office I could perform for you, and you—_

Seto pulled his chair out.

“You've barely begun your dinner.”

“I'm not discussing this.”

“Wait a minute. You brought this up.”

“And I'm dropping it.”

“So you're telling me that Kaiba Seto is afraid of a few words? Oh, please!”

“I can face anything, and you know it,” he snapped.

“Well, then.” Atem allowed his expression to lapse into uncertainty again and admitted, “If you can face this, I can. But why did you think to ask this particular question just now?”

“I suppose it's just been on my mind since our last duel. Yugi mentioned it before the duel … to encourage me to do it.”

“Really. What did he say?”

Seto frowned. “He didn't really say _anything_ , that's just it. He basically spoke in riddles. He pointed out that you dueled him and told me to think about why you would.”

“He would. Of course, that doesn't get us anywhere.”

Seto stared at Atem through heavy-lidded eyes. “Why don't I just call him if you're so curious? You can ask him straight out.”

That was so _Seto_ that Atem laughed. How like him to seek a straight answer. “I think he would have told you straight out if he wanted to tell you directly,” he said. “I don't think that would help. I think that his idea is that the answer is obvious.” He paused. “I should know why I didn't want to duel you, shouldn't I?”

“You did. At least you said you did. You said that Yugi had earned the right.” Seto sighed. “Why are we going over all this again? It's tedious.”

“It's what I said, but you've always suspected there were other reasons, am I right?”

Seto remained silent.

“I thought so,” Atem confirmed, then he frowned, thinking back. “… Yugi … You have to understand, Seto … what it was like. First Yugi put the _sennen_ puzzle together, but that was just the beginning. At first it was like … like I wasn't all there. I wasn't quite aware of myself. It was like Yugi was helping me put together the shattered pieces of my soul. You have no …”

Atem caught a flicker in the oceanic depths of Seto's eyes and thought, _Wait, of course he does. He put the shattered pieces of his own heart together virtually by himself_.

Atem tried to set his regret aside and forced himself to move on. “For that, and all Yugi did for me, for lending me his own body, I owed him at least that much. I don't know how I can repay what I owe him, but there _is_ more, Seto. It isn't that I thought you'd lose, Seto, or even that I thought you'd win.” Atem frowned. “No matter the outcome … it would be … I …” He didn't know how he could put the feelings into words. He looked at Seto as though the sight of him held all the answers.

“Don't look at me,” Seto said. “I can't begin to imagine what's going on inside of your head. Not even when I want to.”

“What would it mean?” Atem asked himself more than Seto. “It would mean facing the fact that you returned, after all that time … after all that time … to … to help me. To rescue me. To aid me in my final ordeal.”

_I've waited so very long …_

Seto shook his head violently, frowning. _That wasn't me_.

“You were the only one. The only one who could have done it, Seto. You should have destroyed it, you know. Separated the pieces, melted it down. Made it so that it could never be put together again. But you had faith in me. Unshakable confidence. I … I don't know how I can thank you—”

Atem stood, moving toward Seto, but he also stood, moving quickly away.

“What in the _hell_ are you talking about, Atem? You're making no sense whatsoever.”

“The puzzle, Seto! The _sennen_ puzzle in which my soul was trapped. You were the one who saw to it that it was kept and hidden for the correct person to find. You ensured that all of the _sennen_ items were watched over and that my memory was preserved.”

“I did nothing of the sort. This happened thousands of years before I was born.”

Atem closed his eyes for a moment. “You still refuse to believe that you and Set are one and the same?”

“I do.”

“Despite the intrusion of memories?”

“Those visions could simply have come from those … artifacts.”

“Despite the fact that you can speak ancient Egyptian? I know you can still understand it when I speak it.” He frowned in frustration. “In fact, for some reason, you remember it better than I do.”

“It's difficult to explain, but …”

“Seto, how can I persuade you to accept who you are?”

“Why is it so important to you that I believe this?”

“Say I dueled you in Egypt. What would have happened?”

“I would have beaten you, of course.”

“I like your confidence,” Atem grinned. “Setting the result aside, let's say you would have done everything you could to beat me.”

“Fair enough.”

“Why?”

Seto looked at Atem as though he were insane, but said, “All right, I'll play along. I'd have beaten you because I like to win. You know that.”

“No other reason?”

_This was the last office I could perform for you …_

“Don't—”

Atem grabbed Seto's wrist, preventing him from turning away. “You remember something.”

Seto speared him with eyes of glacial blue and said, “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I think you do.” Atem relaxed a little and said, “Even if you don't remember who you once were, I do. Even if you never were that person, I _think_ you were. So had I dueled you, I would have dueled a person who sacrificed eternity to rescue me. Who strengthened me, through our rivalry, who was willing to risk everything, the world … Someone who did all this to deliver me to my final rest.”

Carefully, Atem took a step closer. “Yet if I dueled you and lost, I would have to face you as I said goodbye.”

“You … your beliefs …” Seto tried to pull away. It was hard for him to argue now that Atem and Yugi were the same person. Now Atem was chipping away at Seto's foundation. “This makes no sense.”

“I believe in reincarnation, Seto. I believe you were once my priest, my friend, Set.” He placed his other hand on Seto's, then allowed the one encircling Seto's wrist to slide to his hand so that he clasped Seto's hand in both of his. Looking up into Seto's shadowed eyes, he said, “At that time I thought I needed to go to the afterlife, that it was the whole point—to send me to my rest and second kingdom. But it was what was planned in light of the fact that everyone I'd known was dead, that I no longer had a life or context. It was Set's plan—to free me—and my intention was to honor that.”

Seto attempted to pull away, but Atem held tight. “Hear me out. You brought this up, remember? I'm just answering your question. You're right that dueling is like two mirrors held against each other. I just … I couldn't stand to show you how I felt at that time. Because—” Atem scowled in realization. “Because I couldn't allow myself to acknowledge how I felt to myself, especially if I had to say goodbye to you. I couldn't discover that I love you … not—not like that, and then have to leave. It would have been—”

_Unbearable._

Even had he won, facing the magnitude of his emotions on the field of battle—

Exposing them, directly to Seto …

Instinctively, he had avoided it. Now he knew why.

“It's not like you to avoid an emotional scene, Atem.” Seto's voice, a murmur, next to his ear. Atem's eye's flew open. He didn't remember closing them. Seto was slow moving away and Atem could feel his breath, feathery against his skin.

Atem turned slightly, catching sight of Seto's eyes close to his own, incandescent, ablaze with a hot, blue flame. Atem let go of Seto's hand with one of his to reach toward that light. “Seto …” he breathed. “If I dueled you, I don't know if I could have finished. I don't know if—” No, he knew. _After the ritual of memories, I would not have been able to play a god card against him and declare an attack._

With Yugi, he could pretend they were just cards. Harmless. With no shadow game in effect, and their mutual history, he felt unrestrained in using them. But Seto was Set. There was no pretending that the god cards weren't dangerous. To set them aside would be insulting. Yet, using them against him was …

“ _Atem_ …”

It was little more than a sigh, but it awoke Atem from his reverie, it was so filled with emotion. Had that come from Seto?

_Ahhh-temm …_

It evoked a desert breeze, sighing through the sun-baked dunes, then resonating through the vast, cool, empty space of some lost temple. Burning blue bore into him with such intensity that Atem felt his every nerve combust such that he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

 _Is Seto doing this to me?_ Atem thought. _It's … unendurable._

But just as he was about to pull away, Seto decided to stop staring through Atem's soul, and instead used his free hand to reach around Atem's shoulders and pull him into a scorching kiss.

_Oh, sweet Ra, Seto, don't change your mind this time or I'll go insane …!_

Dropping their clasped hands to tighten their embrace, Atem momentarily broke the kiss to take a breath. “D-does this mean you believe me?” he gasped.

“Does it matter?”

“It matters to me.”

Seto closed his dangerous eyes and resealed Atem's lips with another kiss. When he finally pulled away, he said, “I'm not—” but whatever he meant to say was forgotten as Atem slid a hand under his turtleneck and elicited a sharp intake of breath. Atem was surprised to discover that Seto's skin was amazingly sensitive to a gentle, intimate touch.

“Seto?”

Seto pulled back for a moment, gathering Atem's hands in his own and staring into his eyes with an odd expression that seemed somehow caught between extremities of desire and agony. At last, he scooped Atem up bodily, conveyed him to his bedroom, and deposited him on his bed. Without a word, Seto lay down beside Atem and drew him into a passionate embrace.

Atem slid a hand around Seto's neck and kissed him, slowly and gently easing the hem of Seto's turtleneck upwards. He decided that the time for discussion had ended. If Seto was finally willing to accept him, he wasn't going to question fate.

**Chapter notes:**

Historical note: this chapter was originally posted on Easter Sunday.

This is T-rated, but I hope that what I wrote was evocative. I try …

Reposted response to comments: “I thought Yugi won the duel between he and Atem?” You're absolutely right! However, just having Atem around for this story makes it at least slightly AU, so I had to figure out a device to give him a body and a reason to have him hang around. I figured the easiest way (since I'm lazy) to do this was pull a switcheroo and have Atem win that duel. As it eventually turned out, that decision paid a dramatic bonus in the previous chapter (serendipitous, no?). Check out the chapter notes for chapter 2 for where I originally discuss this. The other basic facts about my “Yugi-verse” are described in the first chapter (how I've combined my favorite parts of the manga & anime to suit myself … hey, it's my 'verse, why not?). But I mentioned all this so far back, it's ancient history now, so it bears repeating!

_pounce on him like a cat in heat_ : Yes, I realize that, in reality (and technically speaking) it is the female cat that goes into heat, but this is a figure of speech.

_dueling is like two mirrors held against each other_ : Oopsies, got the quote wrong the first time ... and I looked it up, too! Just shows that my mind is like a steel sieve … [I really should go back and fix that.]

_you remember it better than I do_ : It's indicated that the _sennen_ rod grants Seto a perfect understanding of ancient Egyptian, whereas Atem's memory seemed to be incomplete, at least initially.


	22. Hangover

Seto awoke in darkness and looked at the clock. 2:23 am. He sighed.

Realizing at once why he had awakened, he slipped out of bed as quietly as possible so that his companion would not be disturbed.

Vomiting? Again?

_This is ridiculous._

As he brushed his teeth, he wondered why such mere physical interchanges had this effect on him. Was it simply the act itself, or was it Atem?

It wasn't as though he was completely naive … although …

Did he really want to think about this?

This whole thing … wasn't what he had planned.

Rather than returning to the warmth of his bed, where his churning mind would doubtless disturb Atem from his peaceful slumber, he quickly dressed and padded silently to his office.

Seto didn't want to think about it.

He brought up some of the program files he was working on for the Virtuosity system and tried to work on them. The lines of code looked like complete gibberish. He couldn't concentrate at all. It was useless.

He shut off his laptop and strode out into the living room and stared out at the beautiful view of Domino stretched before him.

What could he do to prevent himself from thinking about what had just occurred?

He glanced balefully at the display of liquor. Useless.

Books and magazines. Useless. TV. Useless. Radio. Useless.

The door to Mokuba's quarters? He'd want to dwell on it! Useless, useless, _useless!_

What had possessed him to simply immerse himself in that flood of emotion and sensation without thinking at all?

More importantly, what had Atem thought of him?

What would he say when he awoke?

and …

Did he really want to become so … dependent … on someone? Even him? _Especially_ him?

Atem?

He paced, irritably, trying to keep his speed down lest he awaken anyone in the apartments—particularly Atem. He certainly didn't want to be interrupted in his current state of confusion and have Atem attempt to “help” him sort out his “problems.”

But was this even a problem? It had felt … indescribable. He halted, trying to put a term to it. Astounding. Incredible. It was …

A problem. For without even realizing it he found that he'd unconsciously taken three or four steps toward his bedroom already. It took all his will to halt his movement.

If he closed his eyes, he could see it. His pale hand against skin the color of the finest cognac …

Hell, Atem was so like the best Courvoisier … so amazingly smooth, complex, and unlike anything else—filling the depths of his mind and body with surprising warmth. He could almost feel it now: running his hands over skin amazingly soft, his fingers tangling in that exotic hair … Tasting those welcoming lips. And hearing the moans and whispers of his own name … _Seto_ …

… at first soft and low … but then, gradually, with more and more urgency …

… just as intoxicating as cognac—no, much more so.

How could anything that felt as triumphant as that be anything but problematic?

The desire to recapture the sensation was overwhelming. That in itself argued for the addictive quality of this liaison. It was more than just a physical sensation. It was … _everything_. Everything that Atem was to him, and … more, somehow. He wanted to follow that train of thought, but for some reason, he felt that … if he did …

… if he did …

… he'd lose himself.

It would be … like the mind crush all over again.

But—but _why?_

He didn't want to discover the reason.

He wanted to debate with himself how something that felt so good could possibly be bad, but …

In his experience good feelings were the worst kind of scam. Accept easy pleasure only to regret it at your leisure later as you suffer in torment wondering how you could have ever been so stupid.

And then there was that other thing. The thing he didn't even dare think about.

… or were they … were all these feelings part of the same problem?

Whatever it was, he just didn't trust this.

Folding his arms, he stood, a dark silhouette against the lights of Domino, pondering his future.

* * *

They knelt together on the once finely-polished agate floor of the great hall, now littered with debris, sand, and dust. They were shrouded in darkness save for the meager light cast by a lamp on the floor nearby. It was oddly dark for morning, the light blotted out by the dire circumstances that they faced.

“You understand what we must do, then,” Atem said, attempting to bar the anxiety from his voice and sound completely the pharaoh he now was.

“I do, Great Pharaoh, but … could you perhaps …”

“You wish to take my place.”

“I do.” The intense blue eyes of his priest pierced him, belying his posture of fealty.

“Please, Set, let us dispense with formalities this once. You might be my priest, but as we've learned, you are also my cousin. You should have the right to speak with me as a prince and the heir to my throne. In fact, after we accomplish this, you will be pharaoh and inherit all the responsibility I now hold. So don't stand on ceremony.”

“Very well.” Despite his words, Set cast his gaze down, unable to maintain eye contact. “It was my … father … who caused this situation, who enabled the calling of this beast. It is only right that I bear the punishment for his act. I …” He closed his eyes, and as he spoke, he lowered himself even further, kneeling into a position so low that his headdress kissed the agate floor. “You know that I am already suffering as it is, while you—you could be a great pharaoh. You already are. While I—I have fallen into darkness. There is no turning back for me. I've lost nearly everything. My life is in ruins. Don't take away what I have left. Don't make things worse, I beg you.”

“Set …” Atem laid a hand on his cousin's shoulder. “Look at me. You are no slave to grovel at my feet.”

Set relented, sitting up, but his gaze was still downcast. “But what can I do to convince you?”

“There is nothing you can do. You have sacrificed too much already. My own life has been … so blessed. Neither of us could have prevented this tragedy, neither of us were aware of its source, yet it must be dealt with. But you must understand that it was my father's responsibility to know what your father was doing. He must ultimately take responsibility for your father's acts because they were done in the name of the state. So it doesn't matter whether they were done with or without his knowledge. They are still his responsibility. And as such, I have inherited that responsibility. I am the state, Set. As you will be after me.”

“And is it not a son's responsibility to correct a father's mistakes?”

“I am correcting my father's mistakes.”

“At the cost of allowing me to correct my father's. Is there no way for me to heal my grievous error and grief with atonement?”

Shaking his head, Atem allowed himself a rueful smile. “A king's privilege, Set. But also, your strength and resolve has been greatly sapped by the trauma of what has happened with Akhenaden and Kisara—don't deny it! Furthermore, this magic requires the _sennen_ puzzle, which is mine. I am the most suited to accomplish this task, wouldn't you admit?”

“It could be argued,” Set reluctantly allowed.

“Then you have to agree that this is my destiny.”

At last the anger that was brewing within Set flashed to the surface. “ _Destiny?_ ” he scoffed. _“_ Akhenaden thought my destiny was to be pharaoh and that Kisara's dragon was key. This monster, this Zorc, believes our destiny is to fall to him, but we can't allow ourselves to believe that. What has destiny, fate, ever done for us? What good has it brought us? You might believe that your destiny is to save us from the fate of Zorc, but … My pharaoh, I don't believe in destiny. I believe in _you_.” As Set said this, he forced his chin up so that he could look Atem in the eye. A single tear escaped from the outer corner of one eye and made its way down one dust-smeared cheek.

Atem nodded forcefully. _Good_. “Very well. Whether you believe in my destiny or my will, it matters not. As long as you are willing to steel yourself to do my bidding. Set, you may think there is nothing left for you in this world, but I want you to force yourself to seek out the good in it. We still have Khemet, if nothing else. You must rebuild it for me. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Now, Set, tell me once more. Promise me. And use my name. I want to hear it one last time—from your lips—before it's lost to eternity.”

“I'm to gather the items and send them back to the underworld whence they came. I'm to seal you with that … thing …” he choked slightly on the words “for eternity. I promise to fulfill your will. I pledge you all my loyalty, all my love, my Pharaoh. _Atem_.”

* * *

Atem awoke with a start. That was—

a _memory?_

It had been so real, so acute, that he remembered the pungent odor of smoke, burnt and melted sand; the din of soldiers in the distance. And even the cool hardness of the agate floor and the warmth of the man who knelt beside him.

Set …

_Seto!_

Suddenly realizing where he was, he looked around. This bed was … empty!

How he wanted to discuss his dream with Seto now! He wondered if Seto would be more amenable to such discussions after last night. That was probably too much to hope for, but …

He felt terribly disappointed that Seto wasn't there, but he was such a workaholic that he wasn't surprised.

Atem checked his mood and found himself to be more cheerful than he'd felt in some time.

He decided to avail himself of Seto's luxurious accommodations.

After a long shower, he ambled down to the kitchen. There he was surprised by the cook.

“I've been directed to serve you breakfast, Mr Ishtar,” she said.

It was strange, ordering breakfast in someone's home, especially with the host out, but Atem did so. He might as well let the help get used to having him around now and then, he thought.

He made his way over to the informal dining area and sat down. A beautiful place setting had already been laid out, with fine bone china and linen. Leave it to Seto …

And … an envelope. Atem eagerly ripped it open, not waiting to look for a letter opener. Seto's lyrical script covered the page, concluding with his large, plain yet beautiful signature: _Kaiba_ , not _Seto_. _Kaiba_.

Even before he read the contents, his heart dropped.

_Atem—_

_By now you may be aware that we have made an irrecoverable error. I must apologize. This was my mistake and something that I never intended to happen. I do not want to give you the impression that I am promising anything that I do not intend to deliver. I hope that you understand that I never intended to insult or embarrass you in any way, but now I fear that I may have._

_It was a mistake for me to consider forging a closer friendship with you. We clearly have different goals for our association. Clearly I cannot exercise sufficient control where you are concerned. If you consider this a victory, I must cede once more to you._

_However, in any case, we cannot continue as we have been. Please know that I will always be your friend._

— _Kaiba_

“Victory”?

_Victory?!_

… and … “Kaiba”? The hideous formality of the tone of it! Had they not at least reached a level of intimacy deeper than this?!

“Association”? Is that what he cared to call it? Legal partners were associates, friends weren't, and certainly not lovers! But Seto didn't … he didn't want to be lovers. Only he did … but …

Atem immediately crushed the letter, then thought better of it and smoothed it back out. As angry as he was, what if this was the last communication he ever received from the bastard?

“ _Shit!_ ” he muttered, slipping the note into his pocket.

He got up and headed for the door.

“Don't you want breakfast?”

“Breakfast?” Atem echoed distantly. “Uh, no. Suddenly, I'm not hungry. I'll pick something up later. Thanks, anyway.”

“Whatever you say, sir.”

* * *

Atem thought that the elevator would never reach the 57th floor and Kaiba's office suite. As soon as the doors opened, he burst out and strode up to Kaiba's aide. “I'd like to see Kaiba Seto, please.”

“I'm sorry sir, Kaiba-sama isn't in today. He's out of the country.”

_Already?!_

Atem was dumbfounded, but refused to allow it to show on his face. “Can you tell me how to reach him? As you know I'm one of the designers of SpellQuest.” He had no intention of telling this woman his real reason for showing up. A bald-faced lie would be fine for her. “I have an initial design to show him for our follow-up.”

“I'm sorry, Mr, uh …?”

“ _Ishtar!_ ” Didn't she recognize him by now?

“I'm sorry, Mr Ishtar, but he can't be reached until further notice.”

“Can you tell me if Vice President Kaiba accompanied him?”

“As a matter of fact, he did.”

“I'm sure it can wait, then. Thank you for your assistance.”

Atem stepped back into the elevator, fuming.

* * *

“You might have called me to tell me you were staying out all night.”

“Not now, Yugi.”

“OK. What's wrong now?” Yugi grabbed Atem by the wrist and forced him into a chair in their dining area. “You look like you're about to run around with a purpose, but you can sit for ten minutes and tell me what the hell happened to put you in this state.”

“He walked out on me, that's what.”

“Kaiba?”

“No, the Emperor of Japan! Of course, Seto!”

“Honestly, Atem, I understand perfectly. You don't have to demonstrate your mood by taking it out on me.”

Atem sighed. “You're right, of course, but right now I'm so angry I could … I could burn the KaibaCorp building to the ground!”

“I hope you're just planning on imagining doing that and not putting any of your plans into action.”

“Of course not, Aibou, it's just … he's so _frustrating!_ ”

“So I've noticed. Maybe it would help if you told me exactly what happened.”

“Well, we talked about the Ceremonial Duel … in Egypt … and things kind of got—” He shrugged, looking away, cheeks burning. Couldn't he even talk to Yugi about this?

“Oh ho! Well, that explains everything!”

Atem scowled. “I don't see how.”

“Please, Atem. We're talking about Kaiba here. Probably the most inhibited person on earth. And his partner was you. Not to build up your ego any more than it already is, but …”

“It was a pretty powerful experience,” Atem said simply.

Yugi looked at him. After a few moments he said, “Apparently for you, too.”

Atem turned his head to look out the window and sighed. “It was …” How could he put it into words? Amazing? Mind-blowing? Mere words seemed so crass. It was the beginning of something deeper than a mere physical relationship. It was everything he'd wanted. Perhaps even more. A spiritual union of which the physical act was the fullest and most sacred expression. He shrugged. “It was … transcendent. I can't let him go. I … I can't, Yugi. What do I do? It's not my decision alone.”

He looked back at Yugi, who was blushing a little at the depth of emotion contained in his friend's admission, but he managed to maintain eye contact. “Well, I guess we have to give Kaiba space,” Yugi said. “OK … you said the experience was … pretty powerful.”

_Transcendent._

Atem nodded, unwilling to go into detail.

Yugi nodded back. “Well, from my observation, this would probably make Kaiba feel out of control and very uncomfortable. You know how he is. He over-thinks everything. Looking back on it, he'd probably feel that you might see him as ludicrous or over-emotional—judge him in some way.”

“That's ridiculous!”

“That's Kaiba.”

Atem forced himself to stop for a moment. This wasn't about how Seto judged _Atem_ , it was about how Seto worried that Atem judged _him_. He had to step out of his own point of view. It was so much easier to put on other people's shoes when he was inhabiting his aibou's body. Still, he was extremely glad he had his own body now.

Atem tried to relax in his chair at their kitchenette table while thinking how wise his aibou had become. “So you're saying—”

“All I'm saying is that a man like Kaiba is uncomfortable with his human side.”

“I'd kind of noticed that.”

“It's not like he hasn't got a sex drive.”

 _You can say that again_ , Atem thought as Yugi plunked a cup of tea in front of Atem unceremoniously.

“In fact, it might even be more powerful than the norm …” Yugi continued, oblivious to Atem's thoughts. “That might be exactly why he doesn't trust himself. But he's so proud. He doesn't want to let go and give in to pleasure. He doesn't want to be seen as out of control for even a second because it embarrasses and debases him. And to have you witness his embarrassment only makes it more difficult because he holds you in such high esteem. Emotions are the same for him. And, even worse than physical drives, his emotions can be used against him to hurt him.”

“So … he's built all those thick walls of ice—”

… _because he has been hurt so very badly. He's an incredible cynic because of the idealistic dreamer that was so badly damaged by Gozaburo and others …_

“Exactly. I suspect that he feels that he's given you a weapon to wield against him and he can't bear it.”

“That means he still doesn't trust me, either,” Atem said sadly. _But they both needed to give in, to …!_ _Damn Seto and his decisiveness!_

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Suddenly the rage that begun to dissipate surged to the surface again. “What am _I_ going to do about it? What do you mean?”

“You're the one all bent out of shape.”

“If you expect me to go running after that—!”

“You're just going to stay here and fume?”

“I'm damn well not going to follow him like a little lost puppy and beg him to reconsider. I'm the offended party, Yugi!”

“But Atem, you know that he's undergoing some sort of life adjustment. You have to be patient and considerate.”

“There's a limit.”

“Do you love him?”

“I have my pride, Yugi!”

“Yes you do. Why don't you go to bed and cuddle up with that?”

Atem whipped his head around, but before he could think up a retort, Yugi had already walked out.

_Damn-fuckity-crap!!!_

Was Yugi actually taking Seto's side? He grabbed his teacup and drew it back, but before he let it fly to crash against the wall, he stopped dead.

_No. No, that wasn't it._

He put down the teacup and began to rub his temples. This headache was vicious.

Yugi had always had a soft spot for the curmudgeon, that was for sure, but he wasn't taking Seto's side. He just … he was just pushing. Yeah, he had his pride …

But pride was awfully cold comfort.

Seto's armor of ice was built of pride, will, and … solitude. He had chosen to isolate himself because he considered human beings untrustworthy and inimical. He had chosen to live a life of achievement and …

 _self-sacrifice_.

Sacrifice was made for a purpose.

Mokuba.

**Chapter notes ...**

I initially posted this with some trepidation because I just put these guys together and here I am ripping them apart already. Please don't be mad at me! But, honestly, I don't think I do “happy” all that well and the way I set this up I felt that Seto's issues would surface sooner rather than later anyway. Sorry for the bump in the road.

Reposted response to comments: “It almost seems like the words have a deeper level, since we have to dig into the story to actually understand.” Ooh, how nice. Yeah, I do a lot of different kinds of things, from double-entendres to foreshadowing, but it just kind of flows while I'm writing, or when I come back, I see where it's weak and I have to figure out where things need fixing. But, yeah, heavy (!) on character …

“So even though I am extremely ecstatic to see the two take a huge step towards their conjoined future together, I'm also rather weary of what's yet to come.” Well, you said it, didn't you? As I said above, I don't see Seto staying complacent.

_Vomiting? Again?_ : Again, based on actual events.

_I'm to seal you with that … thing_ : Zorc was sealed in the _sennen_ ring, right? But since all the items are to be cast back into the void together …

_the idealistic dreamer that was so badly damaged_ : His childhood dream was to build amusement parks and allow orphans in for free. There's no cynic like a thwarted idealist, believe me.


	23. Chasing That Elusive Creature

Atem felt the heat, the movement of sand beneath his feet.

“Prince, please. We must return to camp. This is—”

“This is by far the closest we've come,” he said.

_To what?_

“It's said to be a mirage, a trap, my Prince. Please return before—”

“No. I've heard all the legends and we're seeing this through.”

“But we've lost the rest of our party. Your father—”

“I know my father would have liked to have been here, but he will understand. We move on.”

At last the guards in his hunting party relented and fell in behind him. The signs were all there, his quarry before him, somewhere among the dunes of the desert.

It was said that this elusive creature was extinct. But it was also said that it was incredibly wise and had learned to hide itself from man. That it chose the times and places, and the persons, that it showed itself to. That, if you were so lucky—or unlucky—to see this creature, you would be changed forever.

Atem was certain that he had seen the signs.

This was no jackal.

“We have come too far into the desert,” worried one of the guards. “Especially when we have no horses.”

“Or camels,” said the other.

“Very well,” said Atem, irritated. “You may turn back.”

“Without you?” They held their tongues and followed, reluctantly.

Atem came to the top of a dune and looked over the landscape, squinting. _Where are you?_ _Which of these is not exactly like the others?_ On a wisp of inspiration, he closed his eyes and listened.

The dunes were … singing?

It was faint, distant, but … clear. It wasn't simply the wind. He had to know if there were words in that chorus.

“This is an evil omen, my Prince,” objected one of the guards. “One must not listen to the words of the desert! It's said they lead one to ruin.”

But Atem began to move toward the whisperings to hear them better, vaguely aware of his guards' protestations.

And as he moved, the sands surged upward.

_Sandstorm!_

This was bad. He immediately struggled to as sheltered a spot as he could find among the dunes and wrapped his cape around himself.

_But this could only mean—!_

He was close. _Oh, so close!_

_If he could survive …!_

He wasn't sure he would. Waves of gray pounded at his consciousness. He was dimly aware of something lifting him, then …

His vision cleared and he saw the interior of a cavern.

The ebony beast regarded him with disconcertingly intelligent blue eyes: blue as sapphires, calm and icy as arctic seas. It was larger than he'd imagined, at least two and a half cubits tall at the shoulder and longer still from shoulder to hindquarters. It was remarkably lean. Atem could make out its musculature rippling beneath the surface.

Everything about it, body, neck, face, long and stretched. And the tail—stiff and erect, with its unique fork. The elegant neck. The ears, narrow at the base, fanning out toward the tips. The face narrow, its nose slightly bent downward at its terminus as though with a patrician hauteur. The body was graceful and lean like a saluki's, but black and glossy as polished obsidian. There was no mistaking it.

This was the sha.

“Can you speak, as the legends say?” he asked.

The creature simply sat before him, staring him with those impassive, piercing eyes.

He wondered if he could approach it. It was powerful, yet wary. It might run, or it could easily tear him apart. His weapons were … gone. Lost in the storm.

Ever so slowly, without removing his eyes from the beast, he inched forward, not quite knowing what he was going to do.

No, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

His outstretched hand contacted the short-haired coat of the creature.

_How could it be so soft?_

But, immediately upon contact, the beast's coat split and began to melt away. It was a mysterious process, like alchemy, leaving a creature of a totally different form behind. At once, Atem realized it was the form of a man.

_Is this the god Set, himself?_

It seemed as though it was a man with the head of the sha, for all the creature melted away except for the elegant, long-nosed face of it, with its high, triangular ears and jewel-toned eyes. But at once that illusion shattered as the last of it evaporated, leaving a man lying unconscious on the floor.

Interestingly, the man was clad, in a strange garb … _this was—!_

At last Atem realized that he was dreaming.

As he knelt to take a closer look at the man, he heard a voice resonating all around him, as though the cavern itself was speaking:

_Atem, you have uncovered my humanity …_

Yes … it was Kaiba Seto. No, wait. Set and Seto were one and the same. But this …

As in a previous dream, Seto was clad completely in white, down to his boots. But not only that, this time his skin and hair were also white as snow, with a pearlescent sheen that lent him an intoxicatingly lovely appearance. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state, he could not resist …

Atem reached out …

… _and yet your touch may trigger my self-destruction …_

… and gently placed his fingers on Seto's cheek.

The man started out of sleep suddenly at the touch, his eyes flying open, his lips parting, letting out a cry of pain and terror. He looked about the cavern wildly, finally fixing an astonished blue stare of betrayal upon Atem.

Seto's hand was flung to his cheek where Atem had caressed it. Now, starting with his cheek and moving downward and outward, Seto's body seemed to come apart strangely, like snow billowing off a mountain peak, his body disintegrating into individual quartz crystals of sand, sparkling white in the odd glow of the cavern interior.

_But I barely touched him!_ Atem thought. _Why … ?_

He woke, grateful to block the image of Seto's expression from his mind. He sat up and cradled his head in his hands. _Isn't Seto tormenting me enough?_ he thought. _Why must I add to the torture?_

_Allergic to sentiment …_

Isn't that what he'd said? He'd meant it as a joke, but was it all too true?

 

**Chapter notes ...  
**

Initially this was posted along with the following chapter simply because it is a bit of a tangent and perhaps an indulgence, being a dream sequence heavy on symbolism. However, I could not resist including something about Set, the god whom Set was named after, and the sha, the creature associated with Set. Hopefully it is entertaining and somewhat illuminating. (Besides, I liked it)

Re-posted response to reviews: ... And thanks especially for the feedback on the humor. My humor tends to be more subtle and character-based and I'm never quite sure whether it works or not. In person, my humor tends to be so dry that when I try to be funny, half the time people either give me a blank stare or attempt to take what I say completely seriously (yikes!). So I'm really gratified to find that I had at least one or two readers chuckling. [Additional as of this re-posting: If you're interested, [_The Best_ _Man_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2211885) (already on this site) is a (5D's) farce that is all about the humor.]

The sha is described as “mythical,” but is most likely, in my opinion, an extinct desert animal. My opinion is based on the fact that the unique features of the sha do not match well with existing animals and that the sha is not clearly fabulous or obviously derived from other creatures.

_The dunes were … singing_ : The dunes of the Saraha are known, in places, to “sing” or “speak” in the wind. There are also “singing dunes” in the American west.

_a saluki_ : also known as the _Royal Dog of Egypt_ and _Persian Greyhound_. One of the most ancient known breeds of dogs, similar in appearance to the greyhound.

_two and a half cubits tall at the shoulder_ : Approximately 4 1/2 feet or 1.15 meters. A completely imaginary measurement.


	24. Unfinished Business

Mokuba lay on his cot at the orphanage, crying. He was angry with himself for being such a baby. After all, his big brother wouldn't like it and would chide him terribly if he knew. Seto never cried. But, today, Mokuba didn't care. Seto wouldn't be coming back because there was a couple who came to the orphanage who wanted to adopt him. It was a very nice couple, upper middle class—the kind of people who could provide Seto with everything he needed … except … except his brother's love.

He had tried his hardest to be happy for him … but …

What was he going to do without Seto?

Between sobs, Mokuba wondered what Seto would do without someone to devote his life to, to sacrifice everything for. What he'd do without _him_.

Mokuba felt a warm hand on his back, but didn't stop crying. The cots were in a common area, after all. It was just some kid taking pity on him for a change.

“Mokuba. Mokuba, stop.”

Seto? It couldn't be.

He stopped, frozen, not daring to breathe. For a moment, he just prayed that it was Seto until he couldn't hold his breath any longer. Then, at last, he looked up.

_Seto!_

He threw his arms around his brother, crying even harder into his chest.

“Shh, shh, Mokuba. What did I tell you?”

“You s-said not to cry. E-ever.” Mokuba tried to stop, but the tears just kept on coming. “I'm s-sorry, N-nii-sama, b-but I can't s-stop.”

“It's all right, Mokuba,” Seto said reassuringly. “I'm not angry.”

“I d-didn't think you'd come b-back.”

Seto gently pulled Mokuba out of their embrace so that he could look into his face. “You thought I'd go with those people?”

“Th-they were n-nice people.”

“No. They're not. They wanted to separate us.” Seto slid a hand behind Mokuba's head into his thick mane of hair and held it fast so that his blue-gray eyes locked onto Seto's dark blue ones. “Don't you understand? These people look at me and see a smart, good-looking kid. They imagine that they'll love me, but they don't care about what I want at all. They're just strangers. Mokuba, all we have is each other. We can only really trust each other. We have to always be honest with each other. These other people? They'll mistreat us and abandon us if we give them the chance, so we have to stick together. No matter what.”

“No matter what …” Mokuba echoed. His tears had eased.

“So you see? There's no reason to cry. I'm going to make sure that we always stay together. OK?” Seto stroked Mokuba's hair a little, then let him go.

Mokuba wished Seto would hold him and stroke his hair like that for a while, but it was rare enough for him to comfort Mokuba in that way. “But how can we make sure that happens? Isn't it up to the adults to decide what happens to us?”

Seto smiled, eyes gleaming. “Not entirely. I'm going to work out some sort of deal that I can make where you won't ever have to worry about anything. If there's money enough, you won't have to worry about anything and we'll have enough left over to make our dreams come true! Leave it to me. I'll figure something out.”

“But, Nii-sama … a deal? What do we have to give up?”

“You won't have to give up anything. I have plenty to offer and I'll work out everything. Don't worry about it.”

But that was exactly what Mokuba was worried about. A deal? In a deal, you had to give something to get something. What would Seto have to give up, and why didn't he want to discuss it?

* * *

Mokuba thought about how Seto had turned down placements with normal families because of him. He wondered if things would have been different for Seto if he hadn't been around.

Except for right after Gozaburo disappeared, Seto had never mistreated him. At first, Mokuba had wondered, in the backmost recesses of his mind, whether Seto had …

He couldn't let himself think about it.

But obviously that hadn't happened. Gozaburo had downloaded his mind into that Virtual World with Noah. Nevertheless, the effects of forcing Gozaburo out of KaibaCorp had taken a toll on Seto and the whole reason they were in the family was because of Mokuba, wasn't it? It was Seto's decision, but it was still because he had Mokuba to take care of.

_Wasn't it?_

Mokuba's friends thought it was a little weird that he was so close with his brother, and that, even at his age, he tended to idealize him and always take his side—well, maybe more than a _little_ weird. But he couldn't think of rebelling against him. They'd been through everything together and shared all their dreams and fears. Mokuba was the one person Seto could trust with his secrets. And Mokuba felt the same way.

Besides, Seto was … well, pretty incredible. To have a brother like that, and to have him trust you like that, give you the responsibilities that Mokuba enjoyed, well … To rebel against an authority who treated you like that would be like cutting off your own head to show how smart you are.

As much as Mokuba liked Atem, Seto's renewing acquaintance with him had set him off-balance. Seto didn't like emotional upheaval and Atem gave him nothing but. Now, after Seto's latest encounter with Atem, they had unceremoniously flown to America in the early hours of the morning without so much as bothering to pack.

Not that it was a problem, but still …

Mokuba had allowed Seto his space all during the flight, but like it or not, Seto needed to talk to someone and Mokuba was pretty much it as far as Seto was concerned.

He wrapped up his work as quickly as possible and told his aide to hold any pending issues until the next day.

Then he barged into his brother's office and plopped into one of the comfy chairs in the conversation area near the large windows. “When do you plan to talk about it, Nii-sama?” he asked.

Seto sighed and looked over.

“You're not just planning on keeping all of this bottled up, are you?”

“That had been the plan,” Seto acknowledged, standing up and moving toward him.

“And how's it working out so far?”

“Considering how much progress I've made today, not well.” Seto sat across from his brother.

“Nii-sama, we used to talk about everything. But now—”

“Now the things I have to talk about are getting pretty personal, Mokuba.”

“We can still talk about them if you need to. Who else can you trust?”

Seto stared at his brother in misery.

“It's Atem,” Mokuba prompted.

“Obviously.”

“Well?”

“We …” Seto looked out the window, a little color risen to his cheeks.

“You don't have to go into detail, Nii-sama, I get the drift. It doesn't surprise me. I know how he feels. But …” He shrugged. It didn't explain how they'd gotten here.

Seto gave Mokuba a small, rueful smile. “You really want to know the whole story?”

“I don't know, but I think you need someone to talk to and you haven't been very chatty lately.”

“I don't recall that I'm ever particularly 'chatty.'”

“Less than usual, then.”

“Hn,” Seto said, folding his arms over his chest as he stared out at the view. “I suppose you're right. The thing is … Atem wants something more than friendship and …”

“It seems like you do, too, Seto.”

“I—” Mokuba watched as Seto's expression turned inwards on itself and seemed to freeze.

“Nii-sama? What do you want?”

“That's just the problem. When I let him close enough, when he pushes me, whatever intentions I had going in seem to be pushed aside and I … lose control of the situation.”

“Ah. And that's bad?”

Seto looked at him like he'd lost his mind. “It isn't good.”

“But don't you trust Atem?”

“Yes. That's not the problem.”

“Then …?”

“The problem is … I don't trust myself.”

“What do you mean? You're not afraid that you'd … hurt him, are you?”

Seto's expression became a little exasperated. “Of course not, Mokuba!”

“Well, it wouldn't be the first ti—”

“It's OK, Mokuba. This situation is different.”

“It's about me, isn't it? Or beating him—”

“That's part of it. Both of us …” he frowned, not taking his eyes from the horizon, “have strong will. We need to have our own way. We're forces moving in this world—moving this world. If we move together, fine. But what if we move apart, or, worse, what if we clash? I might be willing to risk it if you weren't always nearby, but I won't have you caught between us if that happened. It could be …” Seto closed his eyes, his expression darkening.

“Wh-what if I got out of the way? Would it be OK then?”

Seto's laser-like gaze swung over to smite Mokuba. “I am not tossing out my brother and that's that! It's out of the question!”

“But Nii-sama! You deserve to be happy and—”

“We were happy before all this started, and who says I can be happy without you with me? I …” He turned back to the view without completing his thought. “But even if we could manage to work out some way to prevent clashing egos and wills, there's something else.”

Mokuba waited as Seto gathered himself.

“With both Atem and Yugi in the picture, I can no longer pretend that Yugi is simply someone with an odd psychological condition.” He sighed. “I always knew he was two personalities, but it was simpler to treat him as a single person. Now, every time I allow myself to come close to him, I have to acknowledge that fact, and that, for some reason, is a dilemma. More and more, I …”

“What, Nii-sama?”

For a moment, Seto's eyes hazed as though he were looking into a far distance, then they completely darkened. “No,” he said flatly. “I'm not even going to think about it. We were fine the way we were and we can be fine again. Eventually.”

Mokuba reached out and placed a hand on Seto's shoulder. “But, Nii-sama, I don't think you can ignore this anymore. I don't think refusing to see Atem will help. You need to work it out, and I think you should get Atem to help you with it before it's too late.”

Seto scowled. “Atem …”

“I know you don't like to ask him for help, but … just this once? If he's the reason for all this, he should have some ideas about how to solve things.”

Instead of answering, Seto ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his temples.

Mokuba stood, kissed his brother on the forehead, and walked quietly out of the office. He wondered if calling Yugi would help, then decided he might only complicate things further. Competition. Love. Reincarnated spirits. Things were way too complicated as it was.

* * *

Seto really didn't want the complication of receiving executives or VIPs upon his return and had delegated that responsibility to Mokuba. However, there were a few VIPs that he couldn't very well avoid. For example, Pegasus had made a special trip all the way from the bay area simply to welcome him back, so he couldn't very well send Mokuba with cheap excuses. Pegasus, of all people, would sense something was amiss and want some sort of explanation—like this was any of his business!

Fortunately, Pegasus had lost whatever edge he'd had and was easily placated with some simple assurances and a smooth front. But the business of dealing with the barrage of heavyweight VIPs was wearing, to say the least. Once he'd weathered the storm, it should get easier, he thought.

Late in the day, Seto was settling into programming, thinking he was finished with such interruptions, when his intercom beeped. “What is it, Helen?” he asked.

“I have a VIP representing the Supreme Council of Antiquities of Egypt to see you, sir.”

Seto sighed. _Not_ — “Send her in,” he said, annoyed. There was no getting around it. If he sent her to Mokuba, Mokuba would simply bring her back around to him.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Isis said, shutting the door behind her.

“No thanks are necessary since I don't believe I can avoid it.”

She smiled. “How can you know that? I don't see that you have the _sennen_ tauk.”

He smirked ever so slightly. “I don't need it to make that prediction.”

“Ah.”

“There must be a reason you stopped by.”

“Aren't there many well-wishers stopping by to welcome you back to America?”

“Get to the point.”

“Very well, then. My brother seemed concerned about Atem, but he wouldn't tell me why. After much pressing, I managed to infer that it seemed to relate to some sort of tension between the two of you. And now you have suddenly left Japan for America.”

Seto waited. Sensing that Isis was herself waiting for some sort of response, Seto finally said, “So? KaibaLand Domino is open. My business in Japan is complete. It's only natural that I've returned to America.”

“And Atem?”

“Atem makes his own decisions.”

“What my brother didn't say seemed to indicate there's something between the two of you.”

“If the non-conversations between you and your brother are so informative, you must have fascinating conversations. You must remember to invite me to a family dinner sometime. However, if you must know, Atem and I simply renewed our friendship.”

Isis locked her eyes on his in a soul-searching manner and said, “I'm pleased to hear it. However, Mr Kaiba, your relationship with Atem is anything but simple. For example, I wonder whether seeing him again didn't bring up issues relating to your previous incarnation?”

 _What a troublesome woman!_ Seto forced himself to maintain eye contact with her as he said, “As you know, I deny the existence of any such incarnation.”

“Despite all the evidence presented to you of the existence of souls, you still deny them?”

“Even if I did recognize their existence— _if_ I did—it wouldn't mean that I necessarily share one with some priest who lived thousands of years ago.”

“A great man who was also a pharaoh.”

“Whoever.”

Isis walked over to Seto's conversation area and looked out over the view of the city. “Never mind that, then. Say there was a man, who shared a soul with a person who had lived before. If there were no commonalities with that life in his current life, if there was no unfinished business from one life to the next, there would be no problem. Each life would be completely free of the other and it would be easy for that man to ignore the other life that had existed before him.”

Isis turned around. “But let's say that there was unfinished business in the previous life that soul had experienced. Say there were children in dire straits or a loved one was embroiled in a dangerous long-term relationship. Then there would be reason for the new man to have lingering drives left over from the previous lifetime.”

“Unfinished business over three thousand years? The worst kind of hokum!”

“You know it's not.” Isis said flatly. “You're a businessman, Kaiba, so I'll present it to you in those terms. You have a spiritual contract, and the fact that it isn't complete causes problems whenever your paths cross with Atem.”

“This makes no sense. According to you, between Battle City and Egypt, all that should have been finished. This so-called contract should be fulfilled and complete. There should be nothing to cause problems.”

“One would think so, but events didn't unfold as planned.” With that, she calmly walked up to Seto and handed him a small box wrapped in gold foil. “Please receive this gift from the Supreme Council of Antiquities and from the Ishtar family.” She walked to the door, then turned. “Oh, and one other thing. Your spiritual contract wasn't with Atem, Mr Kaiba. I'm positive of it. Thank you for receiving me.”

“That's all?”

“I've said what I came to say. Everything else is up to you.”

**Chapter notes ...  
**

_Seto needed to talk to someone and Mokuba was pretty much it_ : The anime kind of makes a big deal that the brothers are confidantes (Japanese version, anyway), but it's not really dramatized.


	25. Approach

Seto stood on the sand behind his beach house looking out at the Atlantic as though it could provide him with the answers he was seeking. In his hands, he absent-mindedly fingered the gift that Isis had brought, a scarab of dark blue Turkish turquoise that matched his eyes. Despite the fact that it came from Isis, who never failed to set him a little on edge, he found the smooth surface of the scarab oddly soothing. He'd been on the beach for hours, contemplating the recent trajectory of his life as though it were a complex physics problem.

Seto felt as though the pull and push that he'd felt from Atem had put him into some sort of orbit. It was as though Atem were a star and Seto had become a comet caught in an elliptical orbit, first drawn close, then thrown far away.

Was … was Atem his … sun? His light?

Was he really so insignificant in comparison? He grit his teeth. Had he really allowed Atem to take control? Despite all the safeguards he'd put in place?

It didn't matter how far he went now. Atem would always be … somewhere. He would always be locked, here, in Seto's heart.

How could he have let this happen? How could he have let himself become so … dependent?

And, like a comet, each time he circled close … inexorably … to his nemesis, he blazed into his greatest glory … and simultaneously lost part of himself in the process.

_What is happening to me?_

_How long before I disappear entirely?_

The Atlantic continued to roar, but it wasn't speaking to him.

* * *

Atem stood in Kaiba's New York office in a bit of a snit. Yugi stood a little behind him, attempting somewhat ineffectually to calm him down. “And is Mr Kaiba in today?” he asked in his best English, learned through Yugi's lessons.

“Which Mr Kaiba, sir?” asked the assistant.

“Both. Either. At this point, I'm not picky!”

“Sir, please. I'm doing my best to assist you. Mr Seto Kaiba is not in today, but if you can tell me who's calling, I'll see if Mr Mokuba Kaiba is available to speak with you.”

“Tell him Atem Ishtar and Motou Yugi are here from Domino and we're extremely tired!”

“Yes, sir,” she said and bustled off.

“Thank Ra,” Atem muttered under his breath.

“… and cranky,” Yugi added, shooting Atem an amused look.

“You're not helping.” Atem scowled. “This would be a lot easier if I were still pharaoh and could still have him dragged before me in chains …”

Yugi laughed and pulled Atem over to the waiting area. “You think that would help matters?” he asked.

“It would make me feel better,” Atem said.

Mokuba appeared remarkably quickly. “Thank goodness you're here.”

“And Seto?” asked Atem, anxiously.

“I thought you were angry with him,” said Yugi.

“I'm worried about him! Well … yes, and a _little_ angry, maybe …”

“Don't be mad, Atem,” Mokuba pleaded, “he's only worked up because he cares about you so much. It's just that …”

“He's Kaiba Seto. He's carrying a ton of baggage. Plus … it's me.”

“Uh, yeah. I noticed he couldn't concentrate at all so I sent him to our beach house on Long Island.”

“You _sent_ him?”

“I convinced him to go. He took a laptop, but promised to make it a retreat. I'll have Isono take you there.” He dug in his pocket and handed Atem a key. “Don't lose this. Seto'll kill me.”

Atem looked at Yugi. “Don't look at me,” Yugi said. “My excuse for being here is the New York KC Invitational. Speaking of, Mokuba, is it too late to accept?”

Mokuba shot Yugi a grateful smile. “Not at all. We'll work something out!”

“Terrific!” said Yugi. “I'll call Anzu right away and see when we can get together. Atem, sorry, but you're on your own.”

* * *

Atem quietly entered the beach house and removed his shoes. It was a remarkably small and unassuming affair for such an imposing personage as Kaiba Seto, but it had large, picture windows overlooking the Atlantic and was hemmed in by porches. The small entry almost immediately opened into the living area with its gorgeous ocean view.

The owner was stationed by the windows, his coat-jacket discarded carefully on a nearby chair, his arms crossed as he awaited the moonrise. Dressed all in black, it was difficult to make out his form against the darkening sky.

“Seto—”

Slowly, Seto turned, allowing a baleful blue eye to come to rest upon his companion. “How did you get in?”

“Um …”

“I'm going to have a chat with Isono tomorrow morning.”

“Don't blame him. Mokuba told him to bring me here. Besides, I can be persuasive enough when I want to be.”

“Tell me about it. No, on second thought, don't.” He turned back to the view. “You received my message. There's no reason for you to follow me.”

“Seto, I couldn't leave it like that. Walking out without even speaking with me—” Atem snapped his jaws shut to prevent himself from saying something he'd regret. “It was … it was insulting,” he said quietly.

“I'm sorry, Atem, it wasn't meant to be, but I couldn't—” Seto looked away. “I couldn't see you again. Not just then.” If he'd seen him, it would have been impossible to leave.

“And just what the hell did you mean by 'ceding me another victory'? Are you saying that you think I see you as some sort of conquest? Seto, how can I see this as a conquest when …” he paused, closing his eyes, “your desire to be part of this … to make it more than just—” Atem shrugged and waved his arms in frustration. “There's no way to express it! This goes way beyond just sex, Seto!”

When Seto didn't reply to this, Atem continued. “And look what's happened. Here I am. You made me come after you. I came all the way here just to talk to you … to ask you to reconsider. If there's a victory in this, it's yours.” Atem tried to determine the effect of his words, but Seto remained silent and stoic, staring out the window resolutely. “You need to know that I'm willing to pursue you, Seto. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. But … if you really are serious about needing me to back off …” he almost choked on the words, “I will. But if you want me to do that, you have to discuss this with me.”

Atem could almost hear Seto's eyes slide shut for a moment. “Very well.” He turned around. “Speak.”

For the first time, Atem noticed that Seto had something clenched in his hand. “What's that?”

“This? Just something Isis gave me.” He showed Atem the scarab.

_It looks so familiar_ … Atem shook it off as he watched Seto set it on an end table. He couldn't afford to be distracted. “You know, dropping everything and coming to America sounds suspiciously like running away from your feelings, Seto.”

“You think because you've hung out with me for a few weeks and spent a night with me you know something about me?”

“Now wait a minute. Don't give me that. With the exception of Mokuba, I probably know you better than anyone else on earth, and you know it.” Night had now fallen and the room was nearly completely dark. As he spoke, Atem slowly moved around until he was standing before Seto. “You know, just after I realized I was in love with you, Yugi mentioned something to me. He said that ordinary couples helped each other, but we weren't like that because neither of us would ever ask for help and the other would never offer it because we respected each other too much to insult the other by assuming that they'd need help. But …” Atem tried to look into Seto's eyes, but in the darkness he couldn't quite discern them. “Seto, please forgive me for being an ordinary man just this once.”

Atem slowly bowed, getting down on his knees, saying, “It's obvious that you're struggling with something … and it's obvious that, somehow, it must have to do with me.” He continued to prostrate himself, continuing, “I'm begging you, Seto, let me help y—”

Large, strong hands gripped his arms just below his shoulders and lifted him bodily.

“Don't debase yourself!” Seto growled, his voice low and dangerous.

They found themselves staring directly into each other's eyes in the light of the rising moon. For a moment they froze that way, Atem trying to read Seto's shuttered eyes, the atmosphere between them thick and crackling with electricity.

After what seemed an eternity, Seto set Atem down and turned away, his body stiff and tense. Atem gasped, surprised to find that he had been holding his breath. He rubbed his arms, realizing that Seto's grip had been vise-like.

“Seto … please! Please try to understand. I love you. I know you don't like speaking about emotion, but you want to hear the facts. I can't be more plain than that.” Atem waited, but Seto still stood, facing away, so Atem tried again. “Seto, I can't go back to how things were without pain. Maybe … maybe not at all. If I can, I need to help. Please … let me. Consider it a personal favor to me if you must.”

“Atem … You speak so easily about love. But when I think about it … the thought of letting myself … It—it just seems ridiculously dangerous. When I try to reason out why, I don't understand it, but …”

“I've thought about it, Seto. You're comfortable with technology, but not with magic. You create your own magic using technology, Seto. Emotion is … it's sort of like the magic of the mind, Seto. You're so much more comfortable with logic. You want to analyze how you feel in logical terms, but you can only take that so far. Emotion is mysterious and irrational, but it's … magical. How can you live without it?”

Slowly, Seto turned to face Atem again. Sighing, he said, “Atem, contrary to what you might believe, I'm not emotionless. I just prefer to have some semblance of control.”

“And?”

“You make things difficult.”

“But, Seto, you know that I would never knowingly betray your trust. I don't—”

“Don't you see it's not about you? Aside from this—this issue, I still wonder if we could ever make things work, but now it's increasingly clear that there's something even deeper that … Not everything is about you.”

“Then it has to be about you,” Atem said, allowing himself a tight smile. “Won't you let me help you?”

Seto sighed. “I've been here all day, staring out at this damned ocean, thinking about what Isis said … and—”

“You mean she came _today?_ What did she say?” Atem asked, surprised. “I didn't know she was coming!”

“Really. She suggested that as long as I had anything to do with you I'd continue to run into these sort of problems.” Seto scowled. “I can't afford this sort of thing. It's interfering with business.”

“Seto, it's interfering with your well-being. I'm concerned about you. It's true that I want you … I can't tell you how badly … but that's selfish desire. I also care about you. If it's best for you, then …” _I'd let you go … somehow._

But he couldn't speak the words. He could only look into Seto's eyes longingly, willing him to understand his feelings. His heart broke at the thought of leaving him behind.

_Don't make me_.

“Don't be maudlin, Atem. It doesn't suit you. The only thing is, I'm not sure what I can do about this.”

“It would help if you could tell me something about it. All I know is that every time we get close, you head the other direction fast—and the closer we get, the faster and farther you go.”

Seto colored slightly and looked out toward the ocean. He couldn't very well deny it. “There's … Every time we get past a certain point, I begin to feel like I'm losing control of my own life—my own … self. It's … indescribable.”

“But I promise I won't—”

“This has nothing to do with you, Atem,” Seto repeated. “It does, but it's not something you can help. Even if we work out things between us, this is something … in me.”

“But I don't—”

“You do, Atem. So does Isis. But you both think—”

“She thinks it has to do with your previous life!”

“That's—” Seto began to protest, but Atem was already rubbing his hands together, thinking.

“Seto, I think it actually has a lot to do with me, only not directly,” he said. “I think you need to confront what's causing your problems.”

“I would, only I have no idea—”

Atem smiled. “Don't worry, Seto. I do.”

**Chapter notes:**

Re-posted response to comments: I tried very hard to get [Atem] right, but I felt a little more confident about Seto than Atem. “dub really upped their [Yugi-tachi/Kaiba] mutual hostility and I don't like that” Ah, don't get me started—! (Bites tongue.) But I'll say this, in general, the dub makes Seto look much nastier and less heroic than the original. Like we can't figure out who the #1 hero is. (Same with 5D's/Jack. [mini-rant deleted])

Plus, it's great to see “it's awesome to feel like I'm really getting into the characters' heads and being able to understand their motives and conflicts.” I consider all the comments that my characters are in character are maybe the highest praise of all, although sometimes I worry that this is a little too much of a character study and there's not enough going on … oh well.

An actual note …

_dark blue Turkish turquoise_ : In my research, I came across a picture of Turkish turquoise that was just about exactly that color. I hadn't realized that turquoise could range that dark a blue, so I decided to incorporate it into this story. I can't give you the link, though, lost track of it.


	26. Confrontation

Atem and Seto stood overlooking the beautiful view of the moonlit ocean in the darkened living area of Seto's beach house. Instead of enjoying the view, eyes of crimson and midnight blue looked into each other as though that alone could cause their very souls to connect.

“Seto, I think it actually has a lot to do with me, only not directly,” he said. “I think you need to confront what's causing your problems.”

“I would, only I have no idea—”

Atem smiled. “Don't worry, Seto. I do.”

“You're talking about that priest.”

“I am.”

“Wait! Atem, Isis—and you—believe that I'm this man. I don't.”

“Seto, don't you see? That's the problem. You need to accept that you were this man. Or, that is, you have the same soul.”

“I don't believe in souls.”

“Don't you? Then why were you so desperate to retrieve Mokuba's soul in Duelists' Kingdom? What do you think happened to you there? What about Atlantis?”

“Th-that was …”

“OK, fine. What was I?”

“What were …?”

“What happened? First I was part of Yugi, now I'm here. You tell me what I am.”

Seto closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. “Suppose I hypothesize the existence of souls for the purpose of our discussion,” he finally conceded softly. “I … I'm still not a man who existed 3000 years ago, Atem.”

“I believe you share a soul with a man who did.”

“I don't. This man … this priest … will always stand between us. When you're with me, you'll always see him.”

_Is he jealous?_ Atem thought. _But that makes little sense_.

“But … but Seto, I don't know how I felt about him. My memories … are still … They're fragmentary at best. My feelings are for you.”

Seto brought his focus around on Atem. “Atem, if you don't remember exactly how you felt about this man, how do you know what your feelings for me are based on? Think about it. I resemble someone you knew in your former life. Moreover, you believe that I share a soul with this man you knew in that life, which makes me the only connection you have to that life. How do you know that this isn't just an obsession based on the desire to connect to your old life and recover more of your memories?”

This was even worse than jealousy. “Oh, _Seto!_ ” At last Atem gave in. He threw his arms around Seto, burying his face in his chest, allowing a few tears to escape. “Do you really see me this way? Do you … It can't be that you imagine this is the only way I could … fall in love with you!”

“I … no …” Atem looked up to find Seto looking out into over the moonlit waves again, lifting his proud chin defiantly. Seto was struggling to disbelieve that possibility. He disentangled himself from Atem carefully. “But that doesn't resolve the issue. That priest will always be there.”

“He was a pharaoh as well. He was a priest when I knew him.”

“Well, now. That makes all the difference then,” Seto said sarcastically. Raising the status of his “rival” hadn't improved matters any, apparently.

“How can I show you that you're jealous of yourself?”

“I'm not.”

“Then what would you call it?”

“This is totally different. If you're under some delusion that I'm him, then you're not in love with me. Not totally. If … I won't have any less than your entire attention, Atem. It's what I deserve.”

“But what if you are?”

“Are what?”

“What if you are him? —Were him? —Your soul was— _Dammit_ , you know what I mean!”

“And you wonder why I resist this idea,” Seto said irritably. Nevertheless, he walked over to a sectional sofa and settled into it. Even in the moonlight, Atem enjoyed the sight of it, for the low seat required Seto to fold himself in a feline manner to avoid appearing awkward. He resisted the impulse to cuddle up next to the man and instead sat nearby where he could get a good look at him.

“I've been thinking about it,” Seto said, “and for you 3000 years seems to be only, what, seven years ago or so? Less than ten for sure, with your loss of memory. This man is someone you … know. For the rest of us, everyone on earth …” He shrugged. “He's a figure on a stone carving. That's all.”

There was silence as Atem let that sink in. He turned his head toward the view, looking over the dark ocean toward the southeast. Somewhere out there was Egypt. Khemet. He let the sensation of distance flow through him. But it wasn't only a sense of physical distance. The distance was also in time. Seto had said that Set was now only a figure on a stone tablet. Mahado was also, in the form of the Black Magician … but the other priests had not even that much left of them. Perhaps dusty mummies and painted crypts … if they were lucky. Set would have seen to it.

The stars and moon began to waver as Atem blinked back tears, the emotion bittersweet. But Seto had a point. His conscious life had been longer in the past than it had been in the present. It was entirely possible that he had known Set longer than he had known Seto and that the association felt recent even if it actually existed during the ancient past.

He turned back to look at Seto to find him scrutinizing him closely. “Aren't you going to say anything?” Seto asked.

“You're right. That time … it seems to me to be such a recent part of my life. I feel like I should be able to just go back to that place. But I saw most of the people that I knew … die.”

“Except for this man.”

“Except for him, yes.”

“And he looks like me.”

Atem knew where Seto was going with this. Set was the point of continuity. “Don't,” he said. “I'm not trying to force a connection back to my former life through you.”

“Aren't you?”

“You just … It's just … There is a connection, but that's not why—” It was so frustrating trying to convince him. There were so many connections back, but that wasn't the reason. “You need to set that aside and see.”

“Fine, convince me.”

“The connection isn't that you _look_ like him, it's that you _are_ him, don't you get it?”

Seto laughed bitterly. “ _I am not him!_ You were there, but I wasn't! I don't remember anything from back then.”

“You have the same _soul_ , Seto.”

“This again? Don't bore me.”

“No. You said you'd hypothesize the existence of souls. Say Set and Seto are avatars of the same essence. You. The real you. That's the person I love. I'll always love that person, no matter who they are.”

Seto frowned. “That doesn't make sense.”

“Do you love Yugi?”

“What?”

“Are you in love with Yugi? It's a simple question.”

“No. Of course not. That's—” Seto scowled, shaking his head.

“Exactly. When he was my vessel, when I was part of him, you were—”

“I was …” … _in love with him … I thought … but …_ Atem smiled to himself, watching Seto's confusion. Evidence of the existence of souls was flung in his face every day.

But Atem's smile faded upon his realization that this is partly why Seto moved to the United States in the first place. He couldn't bear the knowledge that he was this other. That and … his father. The hatred. The anger.

If he accepted this, the way would clear, yet still he wanted to refuse to believe in the very existence of souls. He resisted at every juncture. Why was he so adamant?

“What did Isis say, Seto?” Atem asked, gently.

“A long time ago, Isis claimed that I built the duel tower on Alcatraz not as a monument to my victory over Gozaburo and my ascension as head of KaibaCorp, but as the place 'where souls meet.' That is, where this man's soul was intended to meet yours. If that were true, it would mean … it would mean that …”

“What I said—”

“What you said about destiny was actually this man's plans for my life. My _life!_ My decisions, my plans … all the things that I did to ensure Mokuba's security, my success … they were all—” Seto was becoming more and more agitated at the thought until he stood and began pacing and gesticulating. “I can't believe it! I _won't!_ I won't believe that this man has controlled my life since before I even knew who I was! It's …”

_Incomprehensible._

_Unfair._

“Seto …” It was hard to see the man who thwarted destiny through his own will so thoroughly distressed. Atem was on his feet now, desperately trying to slow Seto down, calm him down, just a little.

“ _No!_ I don't want to hear it! Don't tell me that a man who lived 3000 years ago has been manipulating me like a marionette! Using my life as his instrument to play out his own little psychodrama! Don't tell me that I've had no control over my own future at all!”

Finally Atem grabbed Seto's wrist as he strode by, yanking him around slightly roughly. “Seto, please! Listen to me for one minute.” He grabbed Seto's opposite shoulder with his other hand and tried to lock onto his eyes, but Seto looked away. “I know you have strong opinions, and you're almost always right.”

“ _Almost—!_ ” Seto hissed, but Atem grabbed his turtleneck and pulled his head down, silencing him with a kiss. Atem didn't dare linger because he wanted so badly to take things so much further, but the kiss had the desired effect.

Seto had now brought the full force of his intense blue gaze on Atem, who returned blazing red in kind. Atem moved his free hand to caress Seto's cheek. “Seto. Look at it this way. If this is true, then you are one of the few people on the planet who is in the position of understanding the forces beyond the boundaries of his life that shape it. You say you want control. This would give you the insight, the means for _real_ control over your life, Seto. The question is, are you willing to take the risk?”

“The … risk …” Seto echoed Atem's words as though he didn't quite understand their meaning. But something deep within the oceanic depths of his eyes told Atem that Seto was considering their implications.

“You said it yourself, that you fear losing control, losing yourself.” Atem let go of Seto's hand and put it around Seto's head to caress his hair. It took every ounce of restraint he had to oppose his impulse to kiss Seto again. He could almost taste it. “If you want to, you can be like others, all these zombies, and not know … pretend that your other life doesn't exist, only …” he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, forcing himself to search Seto's face, “… only that would mean separating again … per-permanently.”

The last word, _permanently_ , was so difficult for him to say.

“I'm not afraid of risk!”

He'd risked everything—his eternity, the world—to save a friend. He'd done all this for friendship, then turned around and told Atem he didn't believe in friendship. His soul had waited 3000 years to tell him that he didn't believe in souls.

Seto …

“I don't believe in destiny. I believe in _you,_ ” Atem muttered low, under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Just something you said to me a long time ago.”

“So what is it that you want me to do?”

**Chapter notes ...  
**

_Isis claimed_ …: Not sure whether I brought this up before or not. Before Atem's duel with Malik, Isis quotes the poem that Set wrote, claiming that his duel tower is, in fact, the place “where souls meet.”

_the man who thwarted destiny through his own will_ : When he changed the course of his future by deciding to sacrifice Obelisk to play Blue Eyes White Dragon against Isis during Battle City.


	27. Vision

 

**Spoilers Ahoy!** Yes, I have a blanket spoiler warning, but this chapter is especially spoilery.

Seto looked at him and for a moment Atem caught a glimpse of that spark that burned for him deep inside and it was all he could do to hold back. “All right,” Seto said finally. “What do you want me to do?”

“After I got a body, I went through a difficult adjustment. Isis taught me hypnosis so that I could cope. I could hypnotize you.”

Seto was chagrined. “First past lives, now hypnosis? Do you want to know what I think of hypnosis, Atem?”

“I know exactly what you think.”

“I don't believe in it.”

“That's what you say when you believe in something, but you'd rather not deal with it. Like magic. Or souls. Do you know what I think?”

“Does it matter? You're going to tell me what you think no matter what I have to say about it.”

“Right again, Seto! I think you're afraid to let me hypnotize you because you think it means giving up control.”

Seto's eyes immediately narrowed to slits. “You—” He stopped, forcing himself to examine his reaction. He realized that the anger that was filling his mind was because Atem was right on target and he didn't like it. He sighed. “You're right,” he admitted. “I don't want to try it and the thought of having you here while doing it is excruciating.”

“Do you want me to call Mokuba?” he asked.

“I think that this will be embarrassing enough without Mokuba watching, thank you,” Seto said.

Atem laughed. “I guess this really isn't your thing. But, please, try to relax or it won't work.”

“Right, I'm going to put the prospect of making a complete ass of myself in front of you completely out of my mind.”

“Seto, there's nothing you could do that could make me think less of you.”

“I'm not sure how to take that.”

“Stop stalling, Seto, and sit down.”

Seto settled into a deep leather chair facing the ocean.

Very slowly and deliberately Atem began. “I'm going to open a door so that you can hear the ocean … OK? … I want you to listen to the ocean and my voice guiding you and nothing else … OK? … When I ask you a question, answer it as best you can … OK?”

“Yes.”

“Good. … Now I want you to close your eyes and empty your mind. … All that there is in the universe is the sound of the ocean and my voice guiding you. … OK?”

“OK.”

There was a long pause. Seto realized that Atem was giving him time to work on this, which was good because his thoughts were racing. How was he supposed to stop himself from thinking about this? His mind was always in overdrive, not only considering every angle of every matter before him, but watching himself, making sure that he was behaving and saying all the correct things. Little by little, he let go of these thoughts, trying to focus only on the ocean. He could do it, he thought, he was good at forcing his mind away from thoughts he didn't want to deal with. All he had to do was focus exclusively on the ocean and Atem's voice. Moment by moment he relaxed and let go of extraneous thoughts. “Are you with me?”

“Yes.”

“Good. … I want you to focus on your body now. You're going to let it go now. … You're going to let go of your identity as Kaiba Seto for just the next little while. … OK?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Tell me what is happening.”

Seto felt himself seem to rise and when became aware of his surroundings, his body was still sitting upright on the the chair … below him, whatever “he” was. In fact, the body seemed to be placidly narrating what was happening to him in a detached manner as though his consciousness weren't floating a good meter above his head. Oddly, he seemed to be able to see the entire room at once. The ocean past the window was completely visible, Atem's head, the entire room from the unique perspective of a point just below the ceiling.

“Now I want you to imagine a long silver lifeline from you to your body, OK?”

“Yes.” Seto felt he could actually see a shining silver thread from … whatever he was … that attached to the center of Seto's—his body's—chest.

“Good. You're doing very, very well, Seto. … Now go back, far, far back in time. Go to Egypt.”

Suddenly everything went white.

* * *

Set sat in an anteroom to his chambers, absently tracing the hieroglyphs on the back of the scarab with a finger. He now came to his throne room only when necessary, his health failing. His always-slender frame had now dwindled to the point that it was frail and skeletal, his still-sharp eyes virtually the only bright spot of life left in his body. He was very old now, and everything was beginning to fail, even his once-sharp memory. Even so, he still remembered the one name that he attempted to suppress—the name of the Nameless Pharaoh. Now he was probably the only one left living who knew the name … but …

It wouldn't be long now.

Then no one would know it.

The anteroom served to greet those visitors that he still needed to see as he finished the necessary tasks. The preparations.

A servant slipped in, practically on the floor, kowtowing. “Great Pharaoh, a visitor, the Great Lady Isis.”

“I will see her. Send her in and give us privacy. Thank you.”

A woman who markedly resembled Isis—an older version of Isis, now—stepped in and prostrated herself before him before standing again. She was the daughter of Isis' niece, named in honor of the fallen priestess heroine. Set had not wanted to make her one of the first Tombkeepers, but she had volunteered … and what choice had he? It was a bloodline occupation. He had been forced to choose out of kin and loyalty, and she possessed both in vast amounts.

Now he looked into her eyes and saw that loyalty. And sadness. She had seen the future. His future. “Smile. Please, Isis,” he said. “At last I will be freed to complete my mission.”

“Are you so sure that what you have planned will come to pass?”

“You have the _sennen_ tauk.”

“I can only see fog at this far distance.”

Set smiled. “It takes a great deal of practice and determination to see so far.” His expression steeled. “I am counting on your determination. Your _faith_. Understand that this will take countless generations, but you are going to free your King. Your god. The man who saved our world, not just Khemet.”

He watched as Isis tried to comprehend what he was saying.

“You need to ensure that this import is passed to each generation. It's not just duty, it's _love_. It's what we must do to show that we love the Unnamed One for his sacrifices.”

“Great Pharaoh, can you tell me why has your predecessor no name?”

“It was his order to remove it from all the monuments.” Set said simply. “No one living remembers it.”

“But—”

_You were alive at that time … and in his court …_

“I want to get to the important issues,” Set said. “My endurance has declined. Have the _sennen_ items been secured?”

“Yes. Between my family and the man Shadi, and you, my Pharaoh.”

“Good. It's time for me to entrust this item to you, then.” Standing with difficulty, he moved to a secret panel and opened it to reveal the _sennen_ rod. “These items must be handled only with the greatest care,” he said. “The magic in them is dark and can influence the wielder. I cannot stress that too strongly. See to it that your family stays strong and loving and understands the purpose of this mission.”

He passed the artifact to her with great reverence.

“Yes, my Pharaoh,” she said, accepting it, her eyes shining.

Set did not understand where the love for him that she saw glistening in her eyes came from, but he could only assume it was gratitude. Gratitude for years of service, rebuilding this nation.

Yes, Khemet was now strong and prosperous … but …

_Those cursed items._

In looking forward to find a way to save Atem, he could not help but notice how nations rose and fell. No matter how hard he worked or how secure he made his country, time would eventually undo his greatest efforts.

_Would all his work come to nothing?_

He could only look into the happy faces of his people and hope that this little wedge of time, this pleasant interlude was enough …

Still, most days he felt that the vast expanse of his life had just been duty, the fulfillment of a promise made long ago to a man long dead, now nameless. His real life had ended many years ago and he was a dead man, walking through a vast unending midnight, trying to find his way back into the light …

He couldn't quite understand it. _They love me, but I can't feel it. I don't deserve it. This … by right, it belongs to him. All the work I've done has been toward a future I can't see._

“The priests understand fully?” he asked, changing the subject.

“That I am to be included in planning and executing the burial rites?” Isis asked. “Yes. They are not completely happy about it.”

“You are a priestess.”

“I am not part of their temple routine.”

“You will see to it?”

“Yes, I'll ensure that the amulet is around your neck.” She forced herself to look into his intimidating eyes.

“And the stelai?”

“Yes. They will be placed as you have directed. The priests are afraid of you—and your vizier. They will not attempt to disobey.”

He fingered the amulet. “I must have this when I speak with the gods of the underworld. They must know that I cannot rest until … until I finish my work.”

“Even without it, they will understand.”

“If I can show this to them, I am positive of success. The gods will understand that I carry _his_ will with me.”

Isis nodded. Set was certain that she didn't understand, but that was acceptable. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Great Pharaoh?” she asked, averting her eyes once more.

“No. You are already doing your Pharaoh and your country—and this world—great service. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.” He frowned and stood laid a claw-like hand on her shoulder. “I am sorry that I have to ask so much of you and your family … Of all the Tombkeepers. But the Pharaoh must return. His soul must not be imprisoned.”

She smiled. “This is a sacrifice we've undertaken willingly.”

“I thank you.” _Your descendents might not be so willing …_

_Darkness begets darkness …_

She made her way out the door, carrying his future with him.

_The future …_

Ever since his life had ended so long ago, his mind had been bent on the future. Preparing for it. Making certain that the Nameless Pharaoh's memories were preserved. Writing the poem for him and ensuring that the stelai were carved properly. Arranging for the Tombkeepers and the preservation of memories through their line. Everything was ready.

Creakily, he seated himself again, at last letting his mind whisper the name he dared not speak.

_Atem …_

I've done all I could. I did my best. The only thing left to do was …

let go …

* * *

He had thought about it and he just couldn't let go.

“You don't know what you're asking. You're asking me to extinguish the last ray of light in the world. Our court, Kisara—all lost. Now you, the brightest light, you want me to blot you out with my own hands. You say it's fate.”

Set was on his hands and knees, picking up the scattered pieces of the _sennen_ puzzle that lay scattered on the agate floor before him. He held his blue robes in one hand, gathering it like a basket to hold the pieces. “Fate! Destiny! I ask you this, my Pharaoh, what good have they brought us? Our parents, their good intentions, your father's lack of oversight and my father's foul, dark deeds have brought us nothing but despair. You want to heal this by sacrificing yourself! But that—I refuse! It's too unfair! If it were me … but it's not. It's the only one worth carrying on, and—”

_You've left it to me. You've left me here, talking to an object, trying to pull together the pieces of a broken world. Alone._

“I can't do it. I can't do it without a ray of hope left in my heart. I can't do it chewing only on anger, hatred, and despair: darkness. Don't take away my light … I beg you. I'll be … I'll be …

“… no better than _him_.” He spat it out. He couldn't say the name.

_Akhenaden._

He could feel his heart beating, hard, against his ribs, with the thought of what he was preparing to do. It was disloyalty. Rebellion. Treason. Furthermore, he was going to break his promise, made at the most sacred of moments. But he could think of nothing else to do.

_And the risk … !_

If he should fail, the world would fall into darkness. It was selfish. It was … all kinds of wrong. But …

_Better that my soul be sacrificed than his._

Besides, he thought, pulling himself together with all his will. He stood. Speaking aloud, he said, “ _I_ am pharaoh now.”

Set sighed. Bringing his voice back down to a whisper, he said, “I'm going to figure out some way of getting you out of this. I'll release you if it takes until the crack of doom to do it, my Pharaoh.”

His hands were trembling. Was that everything? He couldn't afford to stop looking until he'd found every last piece glittering in the candlelight.

When he was satisfied, he headed to his chambers.

There, he looked around for something for temporary safe-keeping until he could secure the palace, then spied a golden box, written with spells protecting the soul and the heart, promising long life. It hadn't even been meant to belong to him originally.

_How appropriate._

He opened it and replaced the dark blue scarab on its long golden chain with the pieces of the _sennen_ puzzle. Then he placed the chain around his neck, gripping the scarab tightly in his fist for a moment, its cool turquoise smooth and soothing against his palm.

_Until we meet again._

He would never open the box again.

* * *

He knew as soon as the door opened—the second he saw him. _This is the one_. He smiled. Grimly.

_I can do exactly what I need to with him and it won't matter._

That man …

He knew that he was awful. He knew from the first time he saw him. Ruthless. Ambitious. Willful. Prideful. Powerful. Cruel.

It didn't matter. In fact, Seto welcomed all of that.

As long as it wasn't perpetrated upon Mokuba.

But, the thing was, Seto was too attractive a target. That man would never even see Mokuba as long as Seto was around. And Seto could better that man in every category. It would frustrate and anger him.

In fact, he rigged the chess match that they'd played to secure the adoption.

It wasn't just to make sure; it was also because it was hard to do. Rigging a chess match was extremely difficult to pull off and he wanted to prove to himself that he could do it right under this rich bastard's nose. It not only secured his and Mokuba's position, but …

It also proved to Seto that he had the advantage from day one.

Mokuba didn't like it, ever. He had taken an instant dislike to Kaiba Gozaburo and made no secret of it to his elder brother. But Seto reassured him as best he could and told him that they'd make the best of it. They'd be adults and free in just a few years and not have to worry about anything. With the Kaiba money and advantages, they'd be set.

But best of all, there was something the man could provide that none of the others could. That none of these people, all of these people who wanted to adopt children wanted to give him. Something that he secretly wanted …

Something that he never admitted, not even to himself …

The man was perfect. He gave Seto someone …

_someone to hate._

No, not just _someone_.

_Father._

* * *

Thirteen? Fourteen?

In his father's office.

“It's my invention. My work! _I_ say—”

Gozaburo cut him off. “You say nothing. You work for me. You're my son. I bought and paid for you. I _own_ you! You're finally contributing to the bottom line and you have the temerity to attempt to tell me what I can and cannot do with it?”

In a few steps Seto crossed to Gozaburo's desk and banged his palms down on it. “You want to use my work as part of war simulation exercises! That's—”

“ _Perfect_ ,” he said, smugly. He grabbed Seto by the upper arm and easily tossed him across the room to the opposite wall. “Why don't you wake up? I locked away all those stupid games of yours for a reason. And still you defy me. I know what you do when you're out of the house.”

“I'm hardly ever out of the house. I'm either in school, doing homework or working for you most of the day! The classes! Piano … Martial arts … Etiquette … Riding, sailing, golf, tennis, fencing, archery, marksmanship, _polo!_ ”

“And still you seem to find time to sneak out to the arcade …”

“It doesn't interfere with my studies. Have you looked at my test scores? And my work … You seem pleased enough with this.”

Gozaburo allowed himself a grim half-smile. “But obviously you could do even better. If you have all this time to rack up top scores on video games …”

“You're trying to change the subject.”

“There's no need to change the subject because the previous subject is closed. We've simply moved on. I've given your project to other, capable hands. I'm going to find you something else to work on.”

“Father!”

“Never mention this to me again!”

“ _Father!_ ”

“Now, get out of this office before I have you removed.”

The humiliating fact was that Gozaburo did extract him. It was the last time. The last time Seto ever attempted to communicate with the man in a reasonable fashion. The last time he called him “father.”

Shortly thereafter Gozaburo sent him to Alcatraz to overhaul the security there.

New project …

He'd been there before, but this time he saw the place as though for the first time.

Flying in on one of Gozaburo's heavy-lift helicopters, he could see it all.

As soon as Gozaburo was out of the way.

As soon as Gozaburo was out of the way, he would build it. The duel tower. He'd destroy every building on this god-forsaken rock and build a tower on which serious games would be played. And there …

There he would be crowned the greatest gamer on earth.

He could almost picture his rival now. A _true rival_ , not like the patsies ceding the easy victories he was now amassing. His eyes narrowed as he tried to make the vision come into focus, but it was just his imagination.

He smiled.

The KaibaCorp executive seated next to him saw his expression and said, “It is impressive, isn't it? And it will all be yours some day.”

“Yes … it _will_ be.”

* * *

Fifteen.

Fifteen and already feeling the pressure of admiring glances.

No … make that stares.

Kaiba Seto stood languidly toward the edge of the party. It was yet another one of his father's boring functions. Boring food, boring people …

Only now he felt like he was even more on display. When his father first began bringing him to these affairs, he showed Seto off to his associates as some sort of achievement, one of his most successful projects, the prodigy. That hadn't changed very much. Gozaburo would have him display his latest projects, all too eager to point out that Seto was already contributing vast sums to KaibaCorp's bottom line. As much as this fueled Seto's resentment, it motivated him to outdo himself.

Now he knew without looking that virtually all of the girls close to his age who had come to the party were looking at him. A good percentage of them didn't mind openly staring at him.

Seto knew that these girls found him to be good looking.

All he had to do was look in the mirror to know that he was a handsome young man. He didn't even have to engage his considerable ego to know it; it was just a fact.

He thought that he should somehow enjoy the attention, but for some reason, he found it annoying.

No, more than that. He _resented_ it. But he didn't understand why.

It wasn't that he had no interest in sex … but …

Whenever he tried to imagine what he really wanted in that area, he seemed to enter some sort of undefinable mental territory where things didn't quite make sense.

He decided that he was just young and would know it when he saw it.

But …

He wasn't used to feeling indecisive.

There were so many girls at the party and it would be so easy to take advantage of the situation. Virtually any young man would kill to be in his situation. So why did he feel so angry?

Frustrated, he turned and strode out into the garden.

Gozaburo had finished showing him off for the evening, so he wouldn't be missed.

“Y-you're Kaiba Seto, right?” It was a pretty girl, about his age, glossy black hair, light brown eyes, well-kept up.

“What of it?” He asked sullenly.

“I … I just wanted to meet you, that's all. My name's Keiko. My father is the CEO of Chrysanthemum Entertainment.”

“Takimura,” Seto said. “You did very well with _Twelve Dragons_.”

“Thank you for your kind recognition,” she said.

But Seto was already walking away. He came out here to be alone. As he retreated, her disappointment was almost palpable. He made his way deeper into the gardens where he hoped he would be undisturbed.

And then he saw it.

Long, straight, blond hair—silver-blond, shining in the moonlight. Almost the _color_ of moonlight.

It took his breath away. He made his way toward the girl, imposing every ounce of will he had to keep himself from running.

_What was this feeling?_

The feeling that he knew this person flooded him when he knew that he'd never met anyone who looked remotely like this. Simultaneously, he was convinced he must have suddenly gone insane. It seemed to take a century to reach the girl.

He tapped her shoulder and she turned, looking at him questioningly, with shining light green eyes.

Seto felt as though he'd been slapped across the face.

Betrayed.

_Now he was convinced he'd gone insane_.

But … it wasn't her fault.

“I humbly beg your pardon,” he mumbled. “I mistook you for someone I know.”

“It's quite all right,” the girl said, apparently delighted to have such an attractive young man accost her. “Please stay and walk with me!”

“No, no,” he said. “I … I must return to speak with my father. He's expecting me.”

Seto hated to make such excuses, but he felt a consuming anger begin to seep into his consciousness. He held on just long enough to exit the rose garden and, once out of sight, began running lest he return to harm the girl. He had no idea why he felt such overwhelming hatred and anger toward her, but whatever it was, he couldn't control it.

_It's not her fault she has that hair!_

But why does it matter?

He had come to the forested edge of the garden and pressed his forehead against a tree, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Were the years of torment from Gozaburo finally getting to him?

_That must be it._

Just a little while longer.

A little while longer, then he and Mokuba would be free.

Still, the image of a silver-haired woman stayed with him for some time.

* * *

_Kisara …_

_Not here. Not now._

_Anytime, anyplace else._

Helplessly, Set watched as Akhenaden tore Kisara's _ba_ , her soul, from her body. This was the power, the white dragon that he sought.

He claimed that he sought all this for Set, his son, to make him pharaoh, that this was his one wish, but Set didn't want it. He didn't want to oppose his pharaoh.

And he didn't want to kill this woman.

What he wanted … what he wanted … There was such light in her.

He now realized that he had fallen in love with that light. He wanted to know her, to make her his … but now …

It was ashes.

He knelt before the stone that held Kisara's _ba_ , holding her lifeless body, allowing himself the luxury of tears. How long since he had done so? He couldn't remember.

“Get up. You must duel Atem. You must kill him and become pharaoh. It is your destiny!”

_Destiny?_

“Pharaoh of what? Egypt lies in ruins! Who cares about power now?”

“I should have been pharaoh. The throne should be yours by right, my son. I … love … you. As much as I hate the pharaoh. And I will prove my love. I'll give you my love by joining with your soul!”

Seto felt a flood of … _something_ … some consciousness, foreign, evil, entering his body. His own consciousness was forced into a corner of his mind, cowed by the force of will dominating his body.

This … _this_ was his _father?_

He wanted to fight, but the trauma, the shock of discovering Akhenaden was his father, that he … he was capable of all these … _acts_ … And the overwhelming grief, the inconceivable loss, paralyzed him. He seemed to have no will left. All that was left to him was despair and darkness, all tools at Akhenaden's disposal.

How convenient for Akhenaden that this was when Atem appeared on the scene.

Seto heard himself chuckle without humor and say, “I've been waiting for you.”

He saw Atem freeze at the tone of his voice. Seto continued, “The palace has collapsed. Now you have nothing: You are a naked king. Pharaoh! I challenge you to a duel for the title of king!”

“This is not the time. The dark god—”

“Has conquered heaven and earth already. The _sennen_ items were useless against him. But I am also your enemy, now and forever! I will defeat you and become pharaoh.”

Seto watched in terror as the duel began and Akhenaden used him to call forth the white dragon. Atem responded by calling forth the Black Magician, Mahado. Set's heart sank, as he realized what was likely to happen. And then … it did.

Atem had Mahado go for the dragon's slab, but the white dragon was faster, destroying the Black Magician's first. It was heartbreaking.

Set heard his voice shout, “White Dragon, kill the pharaoh!” It seemed as though the last spark of light within his heart was about to be extinguished. He willed his very soul to vanish.

But then, suddenly, the dragon evaporated, like a cloud vanishing under the sun's rays. At the same time, the image of the dragon faded from the great stone.

Within his heart, Set saw the image of Kisara appear. “My Lord Set,” she said, “you must not allow yourself to be devoured by the shadows! Please accept my light …” With that, she transformed into the white dragon and drove Akhenaden from his heart.

“Kisara …” He felt the vision fading. “I don't want this memory to end,” he said.

But the outer world was fading.

* * *

The memory slowly dissipated, leaving Seto standing in complete darkness.

_I don't remember this._

He looked around carefully for some minutes and finally detected a faint glow in the distance.

Apparently, the glow was within a deep cave, because he had to enter some sort of tunnel to make his way toward it. The walls seemed to be made of some smooth dark stone.

At last he seemed to turn a corner and came into a room filled with so much light that at first he couldn't make out anything. When his vision finally cleared, he saw that there was only one thing there. A huge, magnificent white dragon trapped behind thick, iron bars.

Seto felt joy upon seeing the dragon, yet sadness upon seeing her caged. “Did … did I do this?”

The dragon gradually transformed into a girl, then said, “Yes. But all you accomplished was to conceal your own light from yourself.”

“But I don't understand. I lost you long ago.”

“The evidence was before your eyes. On the stone slab.”

“The white dragon … it vanished …”

“I came into your heart.”

“But … the anger … the grief … the hatred …”

“You hid me away where even you couldn't find me.”

“But … Kisara. You should be free. You should have always been free.” Seto reached forward and as his fingertips touched the cage bars, they melted away.

She smiled. “I always have been. And so should you be. Don't you see? I'm already part of you. No stone slab could hold me. I chose to enter your heart, and I _chose_ to stay here, always. Look at all the good you accomplished as pharaoh. Look at all the good you're accomplishing now. Please, my Lord Set, stop punishing yourself. Let go of the past. Let yourself be happy. Not by avoiding who you are, but by perceiving and accepting your _own_ light.”

She stepped forward into his arms and he gratefully embraced her. And as they held each other, she seemed to gradually melt into him, leaving a warm feeling behind.

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel the warm sensation. It grew, causing a glow, from the inside out, until …

* * *

He opened his eyes to a sunny day, impossibly long ago, the sun on his skin, a warm breeze flowing around him.

Set looked around him. This place was new to him, yet seemed oddly familiar.

He realized he had paused in his training and must continue. He had a great deal to catch up on. He lifted his sword.

“Are you the new initiate?”

Set's head swiveled around. Immediately comprehending who had spoken, he put down his sword and dropped to the ground in a position of fealty. “My Prince,” he murmured. “Yes, I am called Set.”

He felt a hand soft against his cheek and looked up to see the prince smiling at him, eyes of crimson flashing in the sunshine. “I wish you'd call me Atem. Please rise. There aren't many boys in the palace anywhere close to my age and most of the initiates live in the temple complex. But since Akhenaden has taken you under his wing …” Atem looked over his shoulder and frowned thoughtfully. “I wonder about that. I never took Akhenaden as the sort to take a shine toward anyone.” He stood as though lost in thought for a long moment, then, as though decided, grabbed Set's hand and said, “Come with me.”

“But—” _my training!_ But he couldn't possibly argue with the prince. Bad as it might be to get in trouble with Master Akhenaden, it would be far worse to get on the prince's bad side.

Atem laughed as he strode forward, pulling the stumbling boy after. “Don't worry, you won't get into trouble. I'll see to it.”

They entered rooms that were so sumptuously appointed with fine stone, carved wood furnishings, and silken hangings that Set scarcely believed that such opulence could have existed. “What is this place?” he asked, eyes wide.

“Oh? This is my room. But that's not what we're here for.”

Set was mystified.

Atem pulled him rather roughly over to his bed and made him sit, telling him, “Stay there,” while he dropped onto his hands and knees to reach under the bed. Set barely had time to consider what an undignified position that was for a prince before the boy was sitting next to him showing him a smallish golden box covered with hieroglyphics and which featured a large Wadjet eye.

The prince smiled at Set broadly, blushing ever so slightly, a somewhat conspiratorial expression touching those strange, large crimson eyes of his. Set couldn't help but think that the boy was almost as pretty as a girl … no … even prettier. But ever so much more interesting. “Can you guess what's inside?” Atem asked.

“Your heart?” Set asked impulsively. Immediately he felt mortified. What had possessed him to say such a stupid thing? Had he meant it as a joke? The words just seemed to say themselves, blurting out from between his lips. From the moment that he had secured his position as initiate, he had vowed to be particularly vigilant in every aspect of his behavior. But in just a few minutes a boy just a few years younger than he had completely penetrated his guard.

The prince laughed musically, totally unfazed by Set's familiarity. “Yes, symbolically.” He opened the box and showed him the contents, a dark blue turquoise scarab on a simple gold chain.

“That is unusually dark for turquoise.”

“Yes, it's imported from Turkey. But, then, your eyes are unusually dark for blue eyes. As soon as I saw you, I wanted to see if the colors matched.” He picked the scarab up and held it next to Set's face. “They do!”

His smile became even broader. “You guessed what was in the box! Now you have to take it, Set. I want to give it to you.”

_Take it … ?_

“I couldn't! It's too … too grand for someone … like … like … me …”

“Nonsense. You're to be a priest. From what my father told me, you've scored extremely well on the exams … brilliantly well. You could be my high priest one day. That's why I wanted to meet you … that and …” the prince trailed off another blush appearing on his cheeks.

Did this boy blush constantly, Set wondered. But he felt awkward himself. This situation seemed …

“Besides,” Atem went on, pressing the box into the initiate's hands, “you need this amulet's protection. High Priest Akhenaden scares me a little. I know I shouldn't be afraid of him. He's my uncle and he has nothing in his heart but the desire to serve his pharaoh and his country, but still …” He shook his head. “I don't like the thought of you with him alone. Anyone really, but …” _you, especially_. “Here,” Atem said, pulling out the scarab and putting the chain about Set's neck. He smiled, admiring the effect. “You have a long neck.”

“What of it?” He started immediately, then regretted it, wishing to take back his words. Speaking like that to the royal family was almost certainly treasonable. “My pr—”

But the prince ignored him. “It just is. It looks good on you. I like it.”

“Won't your father, the Pharaoh, object to your having given me such an extravagant gift?”

“It's all right. You don't have to keep it forever if you don't want to. When you're a high priest and I'm pharaoh, you can give it back to me.” The prince smiled at him warmly. “You know, it's all right to smile. No one will punish you for it here. It will look good on you.”

At last, Set felt the blush that had been threatening blooming at last upon his cheeks. The boy prince impulsively threw his arms around his surprised companion in a tight hug.

When the hug ended, the two stared at each other, their bronze cheeks infused with copper.

Reluctantly, Set said, “Akhenaden …”

“Oh. Yes. Go. I don't want to get you in trouble.”

Clutching the box, Set fled the room and ran to his quarters to hide his treasure away. Had he forgotten to say thank you in his stupefaction?

The moment he exited his room he nearly ran into Akhenaden.

“You must not become friendly with the prince,” the high priest said.

“Yes, Master,” he said, averting his eyes to the floor.

“Aren't you going to ask me why?”

Set did want to know, but he had been warned to obey the priests and, especially, royalty without question. “I would like to know, but I am not in a position to ask, Master.”

“You learn very quickly. Very well, I will tell you. It is best to keep separate from power of that magnitude. That boy may not realize it, but he could quite easily harm you grievously without even meaning to. I've seen him look at you and I've detected a friendly interest. Say you become friends. What happens if you have a falling out? The best that could happen, the very best, is that your career would be ruined. The worst is that you could be tortured and executed. Please, Set, keep your distance.”

“Yes, Master,” Set said the words, but if the Prince commanded him, what could he do? As soon as Akhenaden turned, beckoning Set to follow him, Set's hand went to the scarab, gripping it tightly.

Akhenaden led him back to the stoa that he had been using to practice fencing and soon left him. “Do not leave this place,” he warned.

Set picked up his sword and began practice. But once Akhenaden was out of view, Set took a moment to look back toward the palace, toward the area of Atem's rooms. There were far too many windows lining the palace walls, he thought.

Was he actually hoping Atem was looking for him?

_Pathetic_.

Master Akhenaden had a point. Did it matter even if Prince Atem was genuine in his intentions? Anything could happen. Atem had his own obligations to the state just as Seto was taking on his. The future was a long road, one that must be watched with care. Still …

He'd never met anyone with such brightness, who gave of himself so easily. How he wished he could be so free with himself …

Set had barely met the prince and yet Atem had managed somehow to engender things in Set that he'd barely imagined were there. He wanted to spend time in his company, if only to know what he might become as his friend. But he wasn't royalty. If he didn't take care, he'd lose what advantage he'd earned.

He returned to his practice, thinking to drive those thoughts from his mind, swinging, moving, thrusting, parrying his invisible foe. But as he turned, his sword flashing in the sunlight, something flashed in a palace window as though in response.

… a streak of gold …

Warmer in his heart than the sunlight. As nourishing to his parched soul as a long, cool draught of water in the desert …

_Atem_ …

 

**Chapter notes ...  
**

_The scarab and the box that contained the scarab/sennen puzzle_ : The scarab symbolizes the heart and renewal (and resurrection) and is placed on the chest of an Egyptian mummy (funerary scarabs, that is) to ensure that the heart does not bear false witness to Ma'at. Yes, this is now the box that Yugi keeps his cards in. Set was given a scarab amulet.

_he rigged the chess match … It … proved to Seto that he had the advantage from day one_ : In the manga, Mokuba tells Atem what Seto was originally like before they lived under Gozaburo's rule and that Seto cheated to win the chess match. However, in my opinion, it would be more difficult to cheat at chess than to win honestly at it (unless it's something so arcane as tampering with the time clock). Therefore my hypothesis.

_Chrysanthemum Entertainment_ : My apologies if there actually is a Chrysanthemum Entertainment. I made that up.

_Not here. Not now_ : Note that this scene is taken from both the manga (primarily) after looking at both Seto's vision and Atem's memory in the anime. (Note: Atem's and Set's memory as recorded by the rod differ markedly, the rod's memory jibing more closely to what we would expect to be Akhenaden's POV. Does that mean that the rod records the body's memory rather than the soul's memory? Weird.)

Kisara's _ba_ : From the manga, the _ba_ is the soul (rarely seen captured as monsters: Blue Eyes White Dragon, Black Magician), the _ka_ is the powerful projection of the soul that is created either through despair and suffering or through training and meditation (captured, such as Two-Headed Jackal, or projected, such as Set's personal _ka_ , Duos).

A note about young Set: Think he's a little impulsive? This is what happens when a reserved personality encounters a personality that can draw him out. He finds himself saying things impulsively and either immediately regretting them, or regretting them as he thinks back on the conversation. His reserve becomes less likely to be penetrated as he matures.


	28. Out of the Past

“Seto? … Return, Seto … Seto? Return, Seto … Seto? … _Please_ … Seto …”

As from a far distance, Atem's increasingly anxious words began to filter into Seto's consciousness. He opened his eyes and looked at his companion. “You're …” he began, not quite knowing what he meant to say.

“I couldn't get you back at first,” Atem said. “Do you recognize me?”

“Of course I do. You're Atem.”

“And you?”

He frowned. “Kaiba Seto. Do you have any more stupid questions, or do you want to ask me where we are or the name of my company?”

“Thank goodness. I asked you to return and you were just … gone … for another ten, fifteen minutes. I was beginning to …” _freak out_ , he was thinking, but he didn't want to admit it. He looked down for a moment. “I … I don't know what I would have told Mokuba.”

What he must have been thinking. _Was it catatonia again?_ Seto stood, trying to think what he could do without admitting weakness in either of them—he certainly was quite all right, and he didn't want to acknowledge that Atem could believe that he could crumble so easily—so he simply looked deeply and hard into Atem's eyes, willing him to see that he was entirely back.

“I'm fine.” But, thinking back, traces of pink touched Seto's cheeks. “Did you hear … everything?”

“I don't know. It took you a long time to return. There was … Set before h-his death and-and with the puzzle, then you, choosing Gozaburo, and then at a party … and … and then the duel, in ancient Egypt. And then I tried to call you back, but …”

“So you didn't …”

“There was something else?”

“I … there was …” He really didn't want to reveal all the details about Kisara, so he simply said, “I … I found myself walking down into …” It sounded so stupid in his mind to say it, but he forced himself. “… into my heart, and when I came out the other side, I was in a memory.” He frowned. “I think … I think it was when we met … When you met my other … when you met Set.” Seto scowled. “He … from the very beginning …!”

“What are you … what are you talking about?”

“Akhenaden. He warned me—Set—against becoming friends with the prince—with you. It sounded like good advice and he was his mentor. Maybe—maybe it was before the darkness took him … but …”

“But things could have been very different.” Suddenly Atem's eyes grew huge with comprehension and met Seto's. “If we had, then maybe I wouldn't have …”

“… felt that you had to take everything onto yourself?”

Sensing renewed horror and rage threatening to overtake Seto, Atem pulled him into an embrace. “Akhenaden has been vanquished. He doesn't deserve a single thought of yours. He's caused you far more pain than he's worth already. You can't allow him to continue to harm you. We need to forget him and leave him 3000 years in the past, where he belongs.”

But as he said it, he couldn't help thinking that had he and Set been friends earlier on, then perhaps he would have been able to forge closer friendships with the other priests and perhaps … But then he never would have met Yugi … and there never would have been a Seto, would there? Still, so many lives lost, such waste …

Was he being selfish?

“If I can do it with Gozaburo …” Seto was musing.

“Yes …”

Seto frowned. “That's partly what he was for … I put myself through all that—put Mokuba through that … to exorcize that demon?”

“Maybe. But now, now I don't care about any of it. I just want you to be free of all that.”

Atem allowed Seto to slide out of his embrace and for a several minutes Seto simply stood, looking out at the starlit night with Atem's arm loosely wrapped around his waist. The moon had moved over the house by now, out of their view, but they could still see glimmers of its reflection moving over the water. After a while, Seto finally broke the silence, slipping away and turning to face Atem. “Set … defied you, you know.”

“I kind of figured that out, yes.”

“Are you planning on punishing me for that?”

“You mean something like a penalty game?” Atem regarded Seto ruefully. “You know, I really think you've suffered enough. Partly at my hands.” He looked out over the ocean. “Seto, I'm glad you—Set—disobeyed me. You had more faith in me than I did.”

“He put everything at risk for selfish reasons.”

“You believed in me. You believed in yourself. … And you believed in my friends.”

“You're saying I believed in your Yugi-tachi?!”

“That's exactly what I'm saying. Set strained the _sennen_ tauk to the max, looked 3000 years into the future, and trusted Yugi and his friends … and, Seto, _yourself_. Admit it.”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Whatever.”

“Anyway, thank you.”

“For what?”

Atem shrugged. “For defying me, of course. For believing in me. For fighting me with everything you have. You made me strong enough to face Zorc.”

“Oh, I thought it was the love of your little friends.”

“That too, but the push of a great rivalry, the confidence, the unshakable _belief_ you have in me, that …” Atem saw from the expression on Seto's face, the pride, the determination, that he didn't need to elaborate further. “In any case, does this mean that you believe me now?”

Seto scowled in irritation. “Do you want to be together or not?”

Atem shot Seto a small smile and said, “OK, not pushing it!” He turned toward the ocean and stared out for a minute, then said suddenly, “Wait, you were saying something about remembering the time when Set and I met? I don't remember that. Tell me.”

Seto looked at him appraisingly and said, “Perhaps I should see what I can get in return first …”

“What? _You—!_ ”

Seto smirked unabashedly. “Ha, now I can annoy you almost as much as you've annoyed me.” Seto proceeded to relate the basic facts of the meeting. “Do you remember anything about it now?”

“I-I'm not sure. I …”

“Should we hypnotize you?”

“Maybe I'll do that later. But I sort of remember …”

A sunny afternoon, impossibly long ago, full of warm breezes winding their way through his silken hangings. Bored, leaning in his window with his foot dangling out … then a flash of silver. A sword, moving through its exercises with geometrical precision. And the boy wielding the sword, tall, slender, and … were those blue eyes? Deep Egyptian blue … He had to go down and see for himself …

A boy, in the palace. Sure, a little older, but still, a potential friend. Running down on a whim to meet the boy … Strange how strong the urge was …

Seto … ?

He stared at Seto, blushing a little. “Did you think I …? I mean …” he began, unsure exactly how to ask what he wanted to know.

“Are you asking whether you showed an interest in me—er, Set, beyond friendship?” When Atem's blush deepened a little, Seto said, “You really didn't, but there was … something there. I was reluctant to follow Akhenaden's advice.”

“But …”

“He was my teacher. You know, I think that box … I think it's the same one Yugi uses to hold his cards. I haven't seen it that often, but … And the scarab …” He stood and took the scarab from the end table, apparently completely unaware that he had slipped into referring to Set as himself. “Yes, this is the very same scarab.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes, the irregularities in the stone are identical. I've seen it frequently enough.”

Atem refrained from saying, _But you just got it—in this life_.

Seto was ignoring him, examining the scarab. “I wonder where Isis got it,” he said. He turned to Atem. “This is yours. Please … it's time that I returned it to you.”

“Didn't I give this to you?”

“You said Set could return it. Apparently he never did after he became high priest and you became pharaoh … And I want to give this to you.”

It did remind him of Seto … wasn't that the whole point?

“You know,” Seto said, “if you want to, you can always return it later on …” He smiled.

“When? I mean, what landmark do we have to look forward to?”

“We don't know yet if we can make this work at all. We still have our pride … and there's our competitiveness … and …”

“… and any number of things.” Atem felt pensive. _Was it really so unlikely?_

“If you don't like that, there's always Set's unfinished business.”

“Set's … What do you mean? What could possibly be left?”

“Something Isis said. Frankly, it's all your fault, Atem. You chose Yugi.”

“What?”

“Set had it all planned that he would send you to the afterlife, but you chose Yugi and then you won. So …”

“Huh. I messed up all his plans.”

“So …”

Atem smiled craftily. “This means you have to stick around until my soul is put to rest, Seto. There's no help for it.” He took the scarab from Seto's hand. “But if I accept this, and if I return it later, it won't be on an occasion of parting. I don't want to keep making you sad, Seto. Still …” he looked at the scarab, then at Seto. It had been Set's for so long, held close to his heart. “All right. Thank you, Seto. This …” He couldn't tell Seto what he was feeling without sounding overly emotional, so he left it at that. Placing the scarab on the end table again, he pulled Seto onto the sectional sofa. “You know what this means, though, don't you? You have to keep an eye on my soul from now on.”

“But, Atem, I don't understand … why, knowing what you do about us … why would you … ?”

The admission took Atem's breath away. Did Seto trust him so much that he'd admit his insecurity, even in such a roundabout way? Maybe this could work after all. “Seto, of all the people in the world, who else could understand me the way you do?”

“Yugi, for one.”

_Leave it to Seto …_

Atem closed his eyes for a moment. “Could you just … for one minute, stop thinking. This isn't business. Or science. Turn off logic and just … _feel_ … for once. It's everything we went through together, not just now, but …”

_in two lifetimes …_

“and it's your loyalty. It's how you fight. How you've fought to make me strong. How you've fought destiny. Even—even how you've fought your own damn carefully-laid plans for us … You—you amaze me. But more than that, it's everything. It's something that can't be quantified. When I think about facing the world without you, it's bleak. Empty. I just love you, Seto. Can't you accept that someone could love you?”

Atem scrutinized Seto's eyes, trying to look into them all the way into his soul. He'd been abandoned so many times …

After an agonizing wait, Seto finally spoke. “I have to try this. At this point I don't think I can run far enough away from you on this planet to pretend you don't exist. I don't think I can keep pushing these thoughts into corner of my mind and walling them off. That corner is growing far too large. What's left—there's just not enough _me_ left over in what's left. And … I …” His voice dropped low. “I love you too much not to.”

“You …” Atem didn't dare finish. _You love me_. After all the times Atem had confessed … finally. He didn't want to make a big deal of it for fear Seto would never speak of love again. But his heart was pounding so hard that he was amazed that Seto couldn't hear it. He cleared his throat. “So …” he began hoarsely.

“So I think—I think I _have_ to try to make this work. I have to try to become a whole person. Even if it means accepting this … Set … and all the pain that comes with him.”

“Set is— _was_ —a wonderful person, Seto, he just—he suffered a great deal. Like you, he was so proud, and he had to contend with the darkness in his _sennen_ item.”

“I don't want that.”

“Tell me about it,” Atem smiled ruefully. “So, can I call Yugi and tell him?”

“After. We have things to do first.”

“Are you telling me what to do?”

“Are you telling me that you're going to fight me on this?”

“Er, no.”

Seto allowed himself a smug half-smile. “Glad to hear it. I'm not in the mood to take the time to duel you over this.” Seto reached out and traced the edge of Atem's cheek with one long, tapered finger, then gently drew his thumb over his lips, barely touching them. Atem's mind went back to that early evening when Seto examined his deck so seductively. A shiver raced up his spine. “Especially since you're the one who's been pushing so hard for it.”

“Ah …” he heard himself say as he allowed Seto to gently push him back onto the sectional sofa. As soon as Seto bent within reach, he threw his arms around him and buried his fingers in his hair. _I could get addicted to this_ , he thought as he pulled Seto forward into a hungry kiss.

Atem could feel Seto smiling a little against his lips, the pure, happy, arrogant smile that had he'd seen him wear when he'd strode into the Marrakesh that first day. He gently pushed Atem back onto the sofa, following and lying down with him, kissing his way down Atem's neck from his jawline. He could have sworn he felt the tip of Seto's tongue trace the edge of his dog collar just briefly. He suppressed a moan.

He was going to make Seto pay for making him feel so needy …

sometime …

when he could think again …

**Chapter notes ...  
**

Reposted response to comments: Since you mention Noa, It's interesting that in the original ( _ **Spoiler warning!**_ ) he's actually redeemed by Mokuba's love for his brother (rather than, what, what he learned from Mokuba?). Noa slipped up by taking Mokuba's body, which held such intense love for Seto that it became his own feeling and led to his decision to remain with his father (a more loving demise). I highly recommend the original Japanese version. [if only an official sub were available ...]

My approach to young Atem was to think what he might be like without the weight of rule and facing apocalyptic crises. [removed comment].


	29. Epilogue: Into the Future

“Aren't you going to stay and cheer me on, Atem?” Jounouchi asked.

Seto laughed, slipping his deck into his latest-model duel disk with panache. He said nothing, but strode several paces away and turned to face his victim.

“I'm sorry, Jounouchi, but I'm taking a walk,” Atem said, turning to walk up the beach.

“Aw c'mon!”

He left the pair surrounded by loyal fans. Mokuba and his current girlfriend Gina for Seto; Mai, Yugi, Honda, and Bakura for Jounouchi. Malik, Isis, and Rishid stood by trying to look objective. The scene was anything but typical: everyone was dressed in beachwear except for Kaiba Seto, who looked like he was dressed for a day boating—crisp beige slacks, primrose shirt with a high, stand-up collar, and a white lightweight jacket with a modestly flared skirt that reached mid-thigh.

“Do you mind if I join you?” asked Anzu. She was well-toned from her dance classes and dressed to impress in a bikini.

“Please.”

Quietly, so that Jounouchi couldn't hear, Anzu said, “Jounouchi really thinks you'd cheer for him after all that's happened between you and Seto.”

“That's why I can't stick around for this. I just can't pick sides. I'd have to back Seto in any duel that I wasn't participating in.”

“What do you do when Yugi's dueling Kaiba?”

“Keep my mouth tightly shut.”

Anzu laughed. “You don't take a walk?”

“Are you kidding? The action's too good.” And all too often he had to be on hand to help smooth over Seto's disappointment upon losing …

The two could hear the dueling pair bicker in the background as they ambled along the beach at a leisurely pace.

“It says a lot that it took Atem to talk you into accepting my challenge. Afraid?”

“I've been officially retired from dueling for some time now. If I accepted challenges from every piker who came down the line, I'd never get anything done. I only duel Atem and, occasionally, Yugi now. They offer a challenge. Now and again I make an exception, but only under special circumstances, such as Atem's request. Frankly, it's difficult to take your challenge seriously, considering that you're barely dressed.”

“What? I'm dressed for the beach!” Jounouchi yelled, looking down at himself. He was simply dressed in trunks.

“I like the way he's dressed,” commented Mai from the sidelines. No doubt the sentiment was mutual. Mai's bikini was even less modest than Anzu's and her body just as impressive.

Seto laid out his first combo, which immediately brought out a Blue Eyes White Dragon to the field. Then he laid down a cover card.

“Not like you,” Jounouchi grumbled as he went to work. “You're on the freakin' beach, Kaiba, and you're dressed for work!”

“Not at all. I'm dressed for leisure. If …”

Atem was losing the conversation in the distance behind him, but he had to admit that Seto was dressed impeccably and his primrose shirt brought out the midnight blue of his eyes. Still, no matter what, he always covered up. His single concession to the beach was to remove his shoes. No doubt he considered that a huge concession indeed.

He awoke from his reverie to find Anzu watching him with a glint in her eyes. “How long has it been?” she asked.

“Almost a year exactly,” he said. “In fact, that's what this gathering is for. Only … I don't think Seto realizes it.” He smiled.

“Is this where—”

“Where we finally worked things out? Yes.”

“You're such a romantic.” They walked on for a little while and Anzu said, “That's why … do you mind? Don't take this the wrong way, obviously what you have together is working, but I still have trouble seeing you together.”

Atem laughed. “That's OK. It took me a long time to see us together, and I'm in love with him. But …” he smiled to himself, “you might not see it, but he has a romantic streak under that shell of his. He just likes to hide it. Oh … you'd better not tell him I told you. He'd kill me.”

“I won't, but thanks. I want to be sure you're happy with him. You know how important you are to me. If you weren't happy, I—I don't know what I'd do. And he … It's just kind of hard to forget some of the things that he did and said.”

“I know. I guess it would be easier for you if you knew him better and if … you felt him … from the inside out.”

“What do you mean?”

Atem smiled at himself. “I guess I mean … I sort of see him as—and please don't tell him this—I see that there's a part of him that is the same in Set and Seto—his soul. He'll tell you he doesn't believe in souls, but all his actions say that he does, Anzu. Down deep, he knows who he is and who I am and what we have is … I can't describe it.”

They had stopped walking and Anzu was looking at him carefully now. Slowly, she said, “OK, I can't argue with whatever this is, and Kaiba's changed from what he used to be, I have to admit it.” She sighed. “I might not understand it, but I'm happy for you.” She smiled. “Whatever you've got, it's obviously worked out … and you got Yugi to move here, so … bonus for me!”

“And Jounouchi?”

“Well, you'll have to talk to Yugi about what he says about it, but I think he still thinks it's the weirdest, most disturbing thing he's ever heard of, but, if it makes you happy, he's willing to roll with it.”

They turned around and started back. “Do you think this is long enough for Seto to give our boy a thrashing?”

“Oh, don't you think Jounouchi will finally have gotten the best of him?” Anzu asked, a twinkle in her eyes.

“Right, do you think Jounouchi will have worked out a way to _prevent_ Seto from getting under his skin?”

Anzu snorted. “In his dreams!”

“Like I said: thrashing.”

As they re-approached Seto's beach house, they heard the inevitable, “… Burst Stream!”

“Aw! And I almost had you beat!”

“You still rely on those gambling cards, Jounouchi. How do you expect to beat me with those?”

“You almost lost! If you hadn't lucked out and pulled that Blue Eyes White Dragon at the last minute—”

“I didn't just draw that card by chance. I _called_ it to my hand.”

“This from a man who tells me that he doesn't believe in magic … or fate … or souls—”

“I don't.”

“… from a man who's practically _married_ to a man who used to be a disembodied spirit!”

_Married … ?_

Somehow the word, so carelessly thrown from his friend's mouth, struck Atem full in the center of his chest as though he'd thrown a brick in his direction.

Why? He'd never thought about it before … And why did it matter? It was just social convention.

Right?

That's how Seto would see it. He knew that.

Seto didn't care about convention.

The bickering was winding down, but Atem had lost track of it. It didn't matter, though, because it was now on a friendly basis.

“… win, right, Atem?” said Jounouchi.

“I'm sorry, Jounouchi, I was lost in thought. I didn't quite catch that.”

Jounouchi repeated, “I said, don't you think that I'll win eventually?”

Atem caught Seto casting an odd glance in his direction as he answered, “Maybe, but Seto's improving, too. He's beaten Yugi now. How many times is it?”

“I'm not keeping track,” Seto said.

“Ha, you know damn well you are!” Atem laughed. “But I'll admit … you are a much more gracious loser than you used to be.”

“ _At all_ would qualify as _much more_ in your case,” Anzu said dryly.

Yugi tapped her ankle with his bare foot.

“Sorry. Couldn't resist.”

“Hey, Anzu, why weren't you cheering me on?” Jounouchi now turned to her, leaving Atem to congratulate Seto on his win.

Seto shrugged off the praise. “I only dueled him because you asked,” he said, but Atem could see that he'd enjoyed playing a still-challenging, yet somewhat easier game. One that he was almost sure to win. Dueling was much more intense between the two of them and between him and Yugi. He loved the challenge, but still struggled when he hit a losing streak. Atem now realized that, at some deep level, he in some way saw each loss as uncovering a fundamental flaw in himself.

_He had been unable to protect his pharaoh … that which was most important, most precious._

Seto would never think of it in those terms, of course, but …

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You know, Jounouchi has a point. You do stand out, being the only one wearing slacks at the beach.”

“I'd stand out if I was wearing the same clothing all of you are,” he stated, drawing himself up to full height and crossing his arms. _I can't argue with that_ , Atem thought. “However, I'm going to get out of the sun now. Your skin might be made for it, but mine isn't.”

“You're completely covered! You know, there _is_ such a thing as sunscreen.”

“Do you really want me to drench my skin in chemicals?”

“Well, actually, when you put it like that …” The thought of running his hands over Seto's skin … and then …

He suddenly wondered if Seto was put off by the sunscreen he'd applied to his own skin. He vowed to bathe thoroughly when they got off the beach.

Still …

“You do know that we were planning on relaxing with our friends today, don't you?”

“I hate to tell you this, but I _am_ relaxing. This is me, in the process of relaxing. Ask Mokuba.”

Atem looked over toward Mokuba, who simply shrugged. _You ought to know my brother by now_.

He watched as Seto walked off the beach and into the shade of his beach house porch. Mokuba grabbed a couple of iced teas and joined him. Anzu, recognizing an opportunity when she saw one, went over to introduce herself to Gina and become better acquainted.

Atem joined Yugi under his umbrella as they watched Jounouchi and Honda horse about in the waves, while Bakura challenged Malik to a game of Duel Monsters with the Ishtars looking on.

“So … it's been a year,” observed Yugi. “Has he noticed?”

Atem fingered his scarab absentmindedly and said, “It's hard to tell, even for me.”

“So you were the one who suggested this gathering?”

Atem looked at Yugi, rolling his eyes. “What do _you_ think? If it involves bringing all my friends around …”

“But aren't we friends of the both of you now?”

“Yes, but if we get together—he expects me to take the lead on that kind of thing. He's still not very social. You know that.”

It was true enough. Atem might have convinced him that friends were valuable, but Seto was very selective and took a long time trusting people enough to form a bond.

“I guess so, _Roomie_.”

Atem scowled. It was a bit of a sore point that Seto was uncomfortable with the idea of Atem moving in and he wanted to badly. “You know why he's that way.”

“Yes,” Yugi sighed. “He feels that if you move into his place, you're bowing down to him in some way and, well, the same would go if he moved in with you. You're both kings with your own little kingdoms.” He laughed then, saying, “If you really did have kingdoms, you'd have one giant compound straddling the border with two castles right next to each other. Two draw bridges, adjoining throne rooms, bedrooms with a catwalk in between …”

“Aibou …”

“Besides, he wants to be able to shut the door and lock you out when he gets in one of his moods or goes into one of those all-night work binges that you hate so much.”

“Yeah … there's that … but …” The moods didn't happen so often, not anymore at least, and he'd have to respect the all-nighters whether he lived with Seto or not.

“Regardless,” Yugi continued, “you practically live together as it is. We live in the same building and if you're not sleeping over at his place, he's at ours. It's a joke.”

“I'm not laughing.”

“It's just like the way Seto handles the press. Everyone knows you're a couple, but everything personal in his life is 'No comment.' It's a wonder that he admits he has a brother.”

“His brother is an officer in his company,” Atem pointed out, chuckling, “so he has to.”

“Ah. Anyway, the two of you are an open secret.”

“I wish it was more open and less of a secret.” Atem sat up and turned, looking back toward Seto and Mokuba where they were standing together on the porch, comfortably chatting together. He wondered idly what the brothers were talking about.

Yugi sat up as well. “I know. You want to—”

“I want …” He wasn't sure what he wanted, but it was … _more_. “Did you know I saw that Alex boy the other day?”

“No. Really? What did he want?”

“Oh, he just came by to thank Seto and tell him things were better with his father, but …” Atem sighed. “He's still carrying a torch. I could tell.”

“And what about Seto?”

“Oblivious. As far as I could see, anyway.”

“That's what matters, Atem. You know that you're the only one he sees. You're the only one who's good enough for him. The only one he cares about. You've spoiled him for anyone else.”

“I hope so …” Atem said. He lay down on the beach towel, gazing at Seto. He and his brother seemed to be looking out toward the ocean. Mokuba said something, tracing large forms with his hands. Seto leaned back into the shade, his arms crossed, and made some sort of remark. With typical enthusiasm, Mokuba jumped forward and seized his brother in a violent embrace, seemingly surprising him.

Atem almost laughed. Seto shouldn't be surprised by such behavior by now.

Thinking, Atem lifted himself up and rested his elbows on the towel, propping his chin on his hands.

“What.”

“Mm? Why what?”

“Suddenly you look serious.”

“I … I feel like I need to-to _do_ something,” Atem said.

“Do something? What do you mean?”

“To impress him.”

“What? Saving the world isn't enough?!”

“I … that … we were in that together … sort of.”

“You're in everything together. I'm not sure I understand.”

“He has his own company. Even if he hadn't had that awful man's—Kaiba's—money to start with, it wouldn't have mattered. Not for him. You know that. He doesn't let anything stand in his way.”

“He doesn't care. You don't have to prove anything to him. You've already done that.”

Atem's eyes never left Seto and his brother. “It doesn't matter. I want to blow him away. Amaze him. Just like he does me. Every day.”

Yugi looked at Atem. “You _are_ in love.”

Atem colored a bit, but couldn't think of anything to say.

“So what are you planning to do to impress him?”

“I don't know yet, but I'm not competing with him in the games industry.” Yugi nodded silently. There was enough risk of rivalry in their relationship without courting it. They'd already avoided potential problems by maintaining Atem's consultantship rather than bringing him into KaibaCorp as an employee. “But whatever it is, I want to make him feel the way I feel when … when he demos Virtuosity just for me—or takes me on a private tour of a park or arcade.”

“We _have_ developed SpellQuest …”

Back at the beach house, Mokuba continued to build on whatever pitch he was making, gesticulating wildly. Finally, whatever it was got to Seto and he began to laugh. It never ceased to amaze Atem that Seto had relaxed so much.

“Not good enough. I have to _wow_ him.”

“He doesn't—”

“ _I_ do.”

Yugi looked like he was about to say something, but just then, Jounouchi tore between them with Honda trailing after, centimeters away from tackling him. In the process, they upset the beach umbrella, sending it spinning lazily toward the ocean. Atem stood to rescue it.

“Oops, gotta untangle this mess,” said Yugi, hastening after the two.

Atem righted the umbrella and made his way up to the porch, passing an excited Mokuba on the way.

“What was all that about?” he asked Seto.

He shrugged. “Mokuba had some promising ideas about the marketing campaign for Virtuosity. I told him to put together a proposal, that's all. Oh, yes, he asked if he could hire Gina's company to put it together. We could do it in-house more cheaply, but they do excellent work, so I OK'd it.”

Atem smiled. Seto OK'd it because Mokuba wanted it, as usual. “Good. That's just around the corner anyway.”

“Atem, I was thinking … do you want to stay here overnight? I know how you like the beach house. We could have Isono take our friends home. … If you don't think that's too rude.”

“Yes! Thanks. I think everyone will understand. Mokuba can play host for us, and he'll want to take Gina home. Anyway, I was thinking of suggesting it myself.”

“Oh? Any particular reason?”

“Well, why did you suggest it?”

“It has been about a year since we came here and … became more or less committed.”

“Committed. Interesting way of putting it.”

“What? As in I must have gone insane? At times, I asked myself that question.”

“No, my blue-eyed beast, you're not insane.” But Atem didn't want to elaborate, at least not with the others around. It was bad enough that he wanted to embrace the man, who was already coloring a little at the sobriquet. A hug would embarrass him terribly. Emotional displays in public and before others, even those he trusted, disturbed him greatly.

In fact, Seto had refused any show of affection at KaibaCorp, even in the privacy of his office, which was thoroughly soundproofed for business meetings. He'd said that he couldn't afford to be distracted at work and didn't want to associate his place of business with pleasurable sensations—to Atem's mind, a separation of church and state, so to speak. He decided to take it as a compliment. Although … there was a room in the back that had been provided for the CEO to take a power nap in that he was sorely tempted to christen …

But Seto was a man who felt a need to order his life. When he was at work, he put his mind wholeheartedly on the job. And when he was lovemaking …

Atem shivered slightly.

“Now what are you thinking about?”

“Tonight.”

Seto smiled, something stirring within the depths of those blue eyes. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still have guests to entertain. Weren't you going to duel Yugi?”

“Oh, right.”

“And … the stakes?”

“I was thinking … offering him a night to himself in our apartment?”

“Weren't you planning on giving him that anyway?”

“Yes, which makes it an ideal bet. No, actually, we each have an unopened pack of cards and whoever wins gets to select from the loser's pack. We really don't have a lot to put up, especially with conveniences like you around.”

“Oh, are you referring to the fact that Yugi's going along with Mokuba to Japan next month?”

“Yes, conveniences like that.”

Seto shooed it away. “Someone has to check KaibaCorp operations there periodically. It defrays the cost of the trip to have someone come along. In fact, because of Yugi's standing, we can write it off as a publicity expense.”

“Nevertheless.”

* * *

After dinner and dueling Yugi, Atem found himself walking along the beach with Seto in the moonlight.

“So, like your new card?” Seto asked.

“I think I can use it. And the duel? What did you think?”

“Impressive as always, Atem. I think you might actually be getting better at this game.”

“You and Yugi are to blame for that.”

When Seto didn't respond, Atem glanced Seto's direction to find him looked extremely pleased with himself.

They walked along that way for a while, then Atem said, “I remember a night like this. You were standing in the moonlight in your living room …”

“Only I wasn't nearly as content.”

“Are you only content these days, Seto?”

“Should I say 'insanely happy'? Atem, you know how I feel.”

“I need you to spell it out for me,” he smiled. “I want to hear you say that I make you as happy as you make me.”

Seto laughed. “I didn't know that you were what they call 'high maintenance.' You should have told me when we started out.”

“Come on, Seto. Pharaoh? You should have known.”

“But I'm not and—”

“You are in your own way, Seto.”

“I won't argue. You have an answer for everything, even if it's wrong.”

Atem chuckled. “I suppose I do.”

“Oh, look, just in time.”

Atem turned to see Mokuba running up. “You should come back and say goodbye. We're getting ready to go back now.”

“Oh, yes, sorry, it's late.”

“Lovebirds!”

“You're one to talk.”

Mokuba blushed a little.

“By the way,” Atem asked as they began walking back along the beach. “How it going with Gina? It's been a few weeks now, hasn't it?”

“Uh, so far so good.” Mokuba was quite red now.

“I don't ask about that. We had 'the talk' a long time ago and I'm his brother, so …”

“ _Now_ you're my brother,” Mokuba laughed. “You promised to be a father to me.”

“When it counts, Mokuba. I refuse to smother you.”

Atem looked at the two fondly. _Only dote on you, that's all_ , he thought.

“You know,” Seto said after a short period of silence, “Virtuosity is finally ready for a general beta. We'll be announcing starting next week. It's been a particularly long and grueling development period.”

“It's because of all the medical and legal ramifications.”

“Yes, that's right. But I think the profit potential from all potential outlets more than makes up for the downsides.”

“You've analyzed it thoroughly, I know. What are you getting at, exactly?”

“Atem,” Seto paused, “You were always uncomfortable with …”

“Ah, I remember! You promised me a vacation, just the two of us, after every major milestone, in return for—”

“For being such a difficult bastard to get along with.”

“I didn't put it that way!”

“Pretty close. And just because I wouldn't let you demean yourself.”

“Moving in with you isn't—”

“We've had this conversation already, so let's not ruin this evening by repeating it.”

Atem sighed. Seto was right. As immutable as he was, standing against Seto on certain subjects was still like crashing against the shores of a continent. You could do it all you wanted and get nowhere. And though the sea might eventually prevail against a continent, what would happen to the continent? It would disappear in the process, and it would only take forever. But why dwell on that when he had an exciting prospect to think about? “So where do you want to go? Domino's out. Too many friends and business partners who'll want to see us.”

“Obviously.”

“Paris? Rome? Tahiti?”

Seto took a good look at him and smiled radiantly. “Actually, I'm thinking something a little more secluded. I have a private island—not Alcatraz—that I think you'll find very … relaxing. We can go there for, let's say, a month? Right after the initial publicity for Virtuosity is complete. But the final decision of where to go is yours. This is ultimately for you.”

“No laptops?”

“Uh, how about only to record any ideas I get?”

“How about an iPad and if you use it for more than that, I throw it into the ocean?”

Seto grimaced. “I can live with that. Almost.”

“Wait … wait!” piped up Mokuba. “If you're going there, can't I come? Pretty please?”

Seto looked at Atem. “It's up to Atem.”

Atem looked at the pleading blue-gray eyes. _I know why Seto has such trouble saying No_ , he thought.

“I'll surf all day most days, I promise!” He said. “You won't even know I'm there.”

“I guess, but you have to leave us to ourselves a majority of the time!”

“Done!”

“Hn,” said Seto, under his breath. “That means we'll have to bring along a bodyguard too. Oh well, I can have him keep Mokuba out from underfoot when we want to be alone …”

As they neared the beach house, Atem distractedly daydreamed about a month with Seto on a nearly deserted island as Mokuba chatted happily about his plans and Seto walked along planning logistics. Hm … could he possibly get Seto into a bathing suit? It was impossible to convince him to expose his arms or even his lower neck in public let alone his feet or legs, but maybe if no one else was looking? Or if it was just the two of them … on a moonlit beach …?

Suddenly he was sorry he let Mokuba talk him into letting him come along.

“Uh, Mokuba, do you think you could, uh, take a short shopping excursion during our vacation?”

Mokuba stared at him for a second, surprised at the blurted interruption, then suddenly seemed to realize its import. “Uh, sure, Atem! Nii-sama, you think I can take a side-trip to Honolulu? Or Tahiti?”

“You can go all the way to Hong Kong, as long as you take Isono with you.” Seto waved a hand toward the ocean.

_Yes!_

He could almost picture it. That long, toned, pale body, glistening in the moonlight … He was going to make sure that Seto was completely relaxed … then maybe … if he was lucky—and, oh, he _knew_ he was lucky … _au natural_?

If he couldn't talk him out of his clothes he could always try dueling him out of them.

He leaned against Seto for a moment and sighed contentedly.

Seto looked at him, lifting a brow slightly under his bangs. “Just what are you up to?”

“I'm just looking forward to our vacation. Let's make sure Virtuosity is a super-success!”

* * *

Later, after they had said their goodbyes and were watching one of KaibaCorp's heavy-lift helicopters carry their friends back to civilization, Atem asked, “So, is Mokuba serious about this girl?”

“From what he's said, more serious than anyone else he's dated recently.” Seto frowned a little. “It's difficult for me to gauge. He expends so much effort looking after me, I sometimes wonder if he takes sufficient time figuring out what he wants for himself.”

“Funny,” Atem said. “That sounds like a description of his brother.”

Seto shot him a scowl. “And after all the concessions I made figuring out that I wanted you. And making a place for you in my life.”

Atem grinned, taking Seto's hand and leading him toward the dark shadow of the beach house. They entered through the beach door where they could easily wash up without tracking sand into the house. “That's exactly what I'm talking about,” Atem said as they rinsed their feet off. “It took a lot of figuring out for you to come around.”

“And what about you?”

“It was kind of a … thunderbolt. A realization. All of a sudden I saw what had been in front of me all the time.”

“Hn. That's convenient.”

“Very. Except for the fact that it was you.”

They entered the beach house as Atem chuckled over his words.

“I'm inconvenient, am I?”

“Oh, so you'd rather I take you for granted?”

“Never.”

“You readily admit that you're difficult.”

“And you readily admit that I'm worth it.”

“Only because you're the only person I ever remember wanting, Seto.” Registering Seto's smile, which was dangerously close to becoming a smirk, Atem quickly added, “That doesn't mean that you should let it go to your head. Don't get complacent.”

“Never … where you're concerned. Not as a rival. And not as a lover.” Seto's eyes, dim as they were in the moonlight, shone with a sincere light in their lovely depths. “Now …” he breathed, “I do believe you mentioned something that you wanted to do …”

“Don't you have work to do?”

“Very funny. There are times when I have … _other_ … priorities. As you well know.” Seto shrugged, lowering his heavy lids. “But, if you can't think of anything better to do, I can always find _some_ project—”

Atem could no longer wait and pressed against his lover's chest, pushing him into the living room. “Oh no you don't; I do believe it's all coming back to me now.”

“That's more like it.”

“An entire month?” Atem breathed. “An entire month with you to myself?” He grinned wolfishly. “You know I'm going to spend the entire time from now until then thinking about what I want to do with you.”

“Are you talking about our trip? You're not going to plan everything ahead of time, are you?” smiled Seto. Languorous blue exchanged meaningful glances with red.

Atem continued to move forward, beginning to slide his hands over Seto's expensive leisure clothing, enjoying the texture of it, knowing that he would enjoy the texture of the skin beneath it even more. “No,” he panted, “but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself thinking about it.” He ran his hands under Seto's jacket, pushing it off his broad shoulders.

Seto allowed himself to be backed to the couch where he was forced to sit.

Seto's shirt seemed to have innumerable buttons, but eventually Atem succeeded in undoing them all. “Ah …” Now he was getting where he wanted to be. He eased into Seto's lap. At last his long, elegant neck was revealed.

Seto had no idea how much the sight of his exposed throat aroused Atem. The latter wasted no time fastening his lips in an open-mouthed kiss in the hollow of his neck at his collarbone. He paid no heed to the scarring there. They had never spoken of it. Why should they, when they both knew that those faded marks were left long ago by the harsh leather collar that was part of Gozaburo's “teaching” methods. Mokuba had told Atem and his friends about it, and he knew it was the reason why Seto habitually wore high collars. But it wasn't shame; it was Seto's need for privacy and a desire to avoid prying questions. That and his hatred of pity. But Atem wasn't going to allow that awful man—as he'd come to think of the elder Kaiba—to spoil his intimate moments with his adopted son.

After all, the scars had done little to spoil the sensitivity of that creamy junction of flesh between neck and shoulder. Atem smiled as his ministrations were rewarded with a soft moan. He was interrupted as Seto pushed his jacket over his shoulders. “You seem a little eager tonight,” the larger man observed, running long fingers through Atem's wildly colored locks and down around his shoulders.

“I've been waiting to touch you all day!” Atem gasped between kisses.

Seto ran his hands over Atem's chest and under the shirt he was wearing like a jacket over his T-shirt. “How do you think I feel? You were wearing trunks most of the day. And when we can be alone, you're fully dressed …”

“For dinner, Seto,” he pointed out, trembling at Seto's touch as he allowed his shirt to be removed. His trembling increased as Seto's hands gently slid under his T-shirt and came in contact with his stomach. “Ah—” Seto slowly removed the T-shirt, ensuring that he ran his hands over Atem's body as much as possible in the process. “Damn it, Seto …”

Atem pressed in closer and kissed Seto fervently.

Suddenly Seto pulled back, giving Atem a puzzled look. “What is it, Atem?”

“What do you mean?”

“There's something … You're not relaxed like you usually are. If something's wrong, I want you to tell me about it. I don't want to find out when you're walking out the door or something like that.” Seto sighed. “I know. I know that I can get wrapped up in my work and neglect people. Ask Mokuba. It's … That's the way I am.”

Atem laid a hand on Seto's arm and looked into his eyes. “It's nothing like that—at least, not this time. No, frankly, this time it's me.” Atem paused, then said, “Seto, I see how people look at you and … remember Alex? I feel compelled … I want to mark you—in some way—as mine.” And yet, by the same token, he didn't. He didn't want to mar his beautiful Seto like that awful man had.

Seto pulled Atem in more closely, wrapping his arms around him, smiling. “Is this about Jounouchi's stupid remark? We could get married. We do live in New York after all. I'd do almost anything to make you happy, but … do you really think that you could shoo away a determined person with a mere scrap of paper? He paused, closing his eyes for a moment, then looked at Atem seriously. “When you and Yugi were one, Anzu had feelings for you, yes? I knew that you cared about her, but I couldn't be sure what the nature of those feelings were. Suppose you had married her? And suppose you had subsequently shown an interest in me? Had you pursued me with enough determination, I would not have let such a trifle hold me back from you.”

“But … Seto—”

“Atem, can't you see it? You say you want to mark me, but can't you see the scar you've already placed on my soul?”

 _Soul?_ Seto never talked about those things …

The words, gentle and plain, sent Atem's eyes wide, leaving him staring back into Seto's, glacial blue melting into a warm tropic ocean under the heat of his intense red gaze. “Scar …?”

Seto continued haltingly, “The pain you inflicted … it was …” he simply waved it off, but Atem realized he was minimizing it. “But I was already damaged. What you did to me was necessary to heal me. I'm still healing. But the mark left behind by all that is … everlasting.” Then, placing a thumb under Atem's chin and ensuring that their gazes were locked together he said, “The pain of what came before … everything … can't compare with what we now have. But do you never consider the number of people who admire you? Who want you for their own?”

“Uhn!” Atem had never thought about that. After all, he only wanted Seto and had no interest in others. If Seto had noticed, he'd never shown any sign of it. “I … I suppose there are a few …”

Seto gave a short laugh, “A _few!_ I know you are more aware than that.” Seto allowed his gaze to drift upward. “Atem, if you decided to give your affections to another, what could I do about it?”

_Nothing._

Atem stared at Seto, whose proud profile now pointed toward the window where the moon now hovered high above them.

“I prefer to believe that now that we are together, your affections could never drift,” Seto said with a certain proud defiance, “but realistically, I have to accept that the possibility exists.” He let his voice drop to a murmur. “What can I do about it? I can't buy you with my wealth, or chain you down in my basement. This … even this …” he gently laid his hand on the turquoise scarab and lifted it over Atem's head, “can be easily removed and laid aside. We can walk away from each other. All I have is myself and what I do.”

“Seto—” Atem couldn't restrain himself any longer. “What you do says everything. I—I just wish there was _more_ …”

Seto smiled affectionately, reaching out and beginning to run his fingers playfully through Atem's hair, his eyes softening. “Dreamer.”

“I'll find some way of demonstrating my love for you to the world. Then no one would _dare_ try to take you—”

“Right, Atem …” That irresistible, deep-sea glow that Atem was beginning to understand was entering the depths of Seto's eyes now. Atem reached around his neck and pulled his head forward, taking his lips with his own.

_I'll find some way!_

As their kiss deepened, he reflected on what he'd told Yugi: He'd demonstrate his love, impress Seto, but … At heart, Atem knew he was far more conventional than Seto and his idea of romance more effusive. Still, he knew what Seto had meant about marriage.

And yet his own gods were all but dead …

_Isis!_

He started, pulling back suddenly to find himself staring into Seto's surprised eyes. He'd call Isis and ask whether she could arrange some sort of ceremony, appropriate for them. It would be unconventional enough to appeal to Seto and conventional enough by _ancient_ standards to leave Atem satisfied. And … just their friends.

“What …?” Seto asked, confused.

“Nothing, I just had—you gave me a _wonderful_ idea, Seto.”

“Now? I'd hope that the ideas that I'm giving right now you have more to do with … er …”

“Mostly, but … you have no idea how inspiring you are.”

“Would you care to let me in on it then?”

“All in good time, my pretty,” he said, laughing, and pressed himself against Seto. More than ever, everything about him filled him with desire.

“Good _long_ time,” Seto murmured with mock irritation, and began trailing delicious patterns along Atem's back and sides with his hands.

“G-good long time …” Atem repeated, the sensation overwhelming everything else in his consciousness. “Uh … what were we talking about?” he asked, sliding Seto's shirt from his shoulders.

“Don't remember,” Seto murmured between kisses along Atem's jaw.

Of _course_ Seto was his. He'd never consider anyone else. Seto was discerning enough to know what he had and intelligent enough not to throw it away. Had he really allowed foolish worries about other people to interrupt their time together? Stupid …

He pulled back slightly, smiling and looking into Seto's eyes. “This is just for us,” he said. He wanted Seto to understand how important this shared experience was to him … to them. He put all the meaning and passion he could into his next kiss.

“What—?”

“I love you, Seto.”

Seto said nothing, instead standing and carrying Atem into the bedroom, Atem wrapped around him. Seto didn't often profess his love in words, as though repetition would somehow dilute their meaning. Instead, he showed it in hundreds of tiny ways that sometimes only Atem could discern, saving words for rare and unexpected moments.

As Atem lay back on the bed, he reflected that it was the fact that Seto trusted Atem enough to allow him so close … to risk disappointment and pain … Abandonment. If that wasn't the clearest and most intimate admission of love, Atem didn't know what was.

Those thoughts, and the sight of Seto leaning purposefully over him with that blue fire in his eyes filled Atem with such an upwelling of love and desire that he felt sure he could not contain it all.

… so he reached for Seto and began to pour it all out into his lover …

* * *

Afterward, Atem settled into Seto's arms, marveling for what seemed to be the millionth time at the discrepancy in their sizes. He ran his fingers through Seto's silky hair, smoothing it, as he looked up into his angular face. His heavy lids were almost closed, his features softened by impending sleep. It was so rare, seeing sleep claim Seto first. Must be all the long hours on Virtuosity. “Seto …”

“Hnnn … ?”

“Have you ever dreamed about your other life? I mean, after the hypnosis?” Atem rarely spoke with him about Set, but every now and then, when Seto seemed particularly relaxed and happy, he was willing to talk about it. Just a little bit.

Seto's attitude toward Set was still ambivalent, but he at least now accepted him as a former avatar of his soul. It had been the only way he could manage to bring Atem into his life so intimately without breaking from the strain. But the sense of an other self was still unsettling.

This night, falling asleep, he simply murmured, “Mm. I've had a … dream or … two …”

Seto was drifting off, but Atem was so intrigued by his reply he couldn't help himself. Very softly, he asked, “What did you dream, Seto?”

“Mmmph armph …”

He sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his cheek into the hollow of his lover's neck. It would have to wait. But this was one thing—one part of Seto that they alone shared, that no one else would ever, could ever take away from him. Seto barely acknowledged it to himself, let alone anyone else. It was theirs, Atem's, alone. He smiled to himself, feeling the sensation of Seto's skin against his hands.

He was real. They were together. Seto was happy.

They were happy.

_~ fin ~_

**Chapter notes ...  
**

This epilogue was rewritten. Here's the note about that, if you're interested: I heartily apologize for the re-write, but I decided that I _**really**_ didn't like my first effort at an Epilogue and I therefore had to do it over. Not something I like to do, but I took my character OOC in my opinion, bad me.

Ah well. All good things must come to an end. I really enjoyed writing this, but it's time to let these characters go. This was the one prideshipping opus that I simply had to get out of my head, and, somehow, once it started shaping up and getting out onto virtual paper, somehow I had to share it. So I'm really glad it found some folks who liked it and I'm hoping that you're liking it right to the epilogue. I try, anyway!

_I guess so, Roomie_ : Not romantic? And yet, I see Seto having a problem with living arrangements for precisely the reasons I've dramatized (or tried to, at least!). It might happen over time, but it would take some doing.

_I feel like I need to do something_ : Even without Seto around, I don't see Atem sitting around idle for long, or even just dueling. He's an ex-pharaoh with a need to achieve.

_Mokuba had told Atem and his friends about [Gozuburo's abusive “teaching” methods]_ : At the time of Death-T.

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Until next time, DD.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you are enjoying this story! Thank you ever so for the kudos! You don't know how much I appreciate them. My grateful thanks also goes to those who spare some of their valuable time to leave a comment. I love discussion and will answer.


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